Chapter Thirty Three

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Taylor

The past few weeks have been a boring routine: school and home. It feels like there's this part of my life that was full and fun that is now gone, and I know exactly why I'm feeling that. My only friend that isn't a guy left me, which I don't blame her but know I'm feeling worse and worse. Ashton has been really busy lately, and Calum, well he's gone. All this has happened in the past few months, I really don't know how it got to this. As I stare at myself in the mirror, I noticed that I don't look like myself. There's darker bags underneath my eyes from lack of sleep, my anxiety has been getting in the way of that. This feeling having no one anymore takes a major part in this feeling, it makes me feel so helpless but I'm not even sure to fix it. I could reach out to Tate, but I don't want the rejection I'm most likely to get.

"Taylor you're going to be late!" My mom yells from downstairs.

I sigh turning off my bathroom light before making my way down stairs. I put on my jacket and shoes as my mom starts talking about work, I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying because my heart stopped when I saw a black Range Rover drive by. I look intensely at the drivers seat, part of me is hoping it's him. When I make eye contact for a second with a middle aged man, I sigh, I was disappointed that it wasn't Calum. Whenever I think about everything it makes me so angry, but at the same time I miss him.

"Are you coming?" My mom asks from her car. I nodded as I made way to the car, I was so caught up in my head that I didn't even notice that she had passed me already. Once I'm in the car my mom couldn't help but ask if I was alright.

"Yeah." I lied.

"Are you sure? You seem out of it." She actually seems concerned.

"Yeah, just didn't get much sleep." I lie and tell some of the truth.

"Would you like to stay home today?"

"No it's okay."

I decline the offer because staying home would make everything so much worse, just having all that time to think and it literally would make me go mental. My mom then continues to talk shit about people at her work as stare at the rain trailing down the window. Before I know it my mom pulls up to the school.

"have a good day."

"You too." I say before shutting the door.

Once I get into the school I turn around the corner to my locker bay; my eyes widen a little bit when I see Ashton standing at my locker.

"Hey you." Ashton greets.

"Hey, long time no see."

"Yeah, sorry about that." He moves out of the way so I can get into my locker.

"It's okay, I know you have a life."

"Funny." He says sarcastically.

"How have you been?" I ask while opening my locker.

"You know same old, you?"

"I'm okay." I lie again.

"Are you sure?" He looks at me with concern.

"Yeah." It was so easy to lie about all the feelings I had going through me.

"Not to sound rude, but you don't look so great."

"Ouch, thanks." I smile, the first one I probably had in a couple of weeks.

"You just look pale and tired, it's coming from a place of love." His eyes looked sad as well.

"I didn't get any sleep last night, but are you okay?"

"Yeah." He answers right away.

"Okay," I say with uncertainty.

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