Taylor
Today is the day I leave with Calum, to where ever he's taking us. I am a bit nervous to be alone with Calum, but super excited at the same time. I just want to get to know him, really know him. I have hope for him. Hope that he'll open up to me, and maybe I can help him. But that's also what I'm afraid of; he'll open up to me and I'll have no idea how to help or say the right things to him. Then that will just push him further away from me. That's a scary idea, I truly have strong feelings for him. I'm not really sure what it is, it could be the cheesy jokes he makes (that's definitely not it). I like how he tries really hard with me, but he's very confusing and hard to read. I just have this gut feeling about him. I feel so alive and safe with him.
My phones buzzes causing me to snap out of my thoughts. Calum tells me he'll be here in five. I zip up my duffle bag and throw it over my shoulder. I slowly walk down the stairs so I don't trip on the last step. I look into the kitchen; to find my mother sitting at the table with half an empty bottle of wine in front of her. A cigarette is occupied her small hands. She looks absolutely miserable. I feel really bad for leaving her here, but she hasn't been talking to me much either way, and I don't know what to do for her. "I'm leaving now." She grunts in response and takes another drag of the poison stick.
I turn around and walk outside. Calum is already waiting in his car. His head lifts up and his eyes meet mine. His smile brightens instantly. He gets out and makes his way over to me. "Hey you." His voice is music to my ears. "Hi." I whisper. He leans down and captures his lips with mine. My heart races out of control, with my body it becomes putty. He pulls away from me with a smile. Which makes me weak, really weak.
"Let me grab this for you."
"What a gentleman."
"I try." He smirks. I chuckle and hand him my bag.
Once I get in the vehicle I buckle up and wait for Calum. As soon as he gets in I ask him the one question thats been on my mind.
"Where are you taking me?"
"That love, is a secret."
Did he just call me love? He fucking just did. Jesus this guy is going to give me a heart attack if he keeps shit up like this.
"I hope you like it." He sounds a bit worried.
"I'm sure I will." I reassure him. This kid could take me to a crappy motel and I would still be happy to be with him.
"Its gonna take a few hours so you can sleep or whatever."
He reaches over and pushes a button and a guitar fills my ears. A soft voice starts singing; I didn't imagine Calum to listen to this type of music.
"The loneliness is worst of all, When you've got no one else to call, Feeling kind of sad when the times are bad, the times are getting bad." He sings along with the words.
His voice is raspy but it sounds so good. He glances over at me for a moment, he's probably wondering why I'm staring at him. I smile to myself. One hand is on the steering wheel while the other is in his lap. Should I? Fuck it. I reach over and lace my hand in his. He's surprised by my actions, but he smiles at me. I lean my head in the cool glass window. I watch as the trees pass by us quickly. The sun is setting making the sky have a beautiful orange/pink colour. I want to remember this moment forever. Having Calum's hand in mine while we listen to a very soothing song.
I turn my head to watch Calum. He's quietly singing along to the song, and I can honestly say it would be impossible to say I'm not falling for him. I know it's really early, and I keep trying to remind myself that I don't know everything about him. But it doesn't stop my feelings for him. It's these simple things that's making me fall for him. He's there for me when I need him; here he is taking me to some unknown destination so I can keep my mind off of my parents. Just hearing him sing while holding my hand is making me feel so happy. I want to tell him these things but I don't want him withdraw from me.
I close my eyes and lean my head back down on the window.
--
Calum
I turn my head to take a glance at Taylor. Her head is leaning on the window, and soft snores leave her mouth. She looks so beautiful sleeping, no stress or sadness on her face. She just looks peaceful.
My eyes find their way back on the road. I definitely feel something for this girl, and it scares the shit out of me. I'm going to mess this up one way or another, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. But then there's apart of that what's so desperately wants this to work, and I won't mess up. As soon as finds out everything about me she'll probably run. She will just think I'm just this fucked up person, this is why I'm incapable of love. I've never had as a kid, so if my own parents can't love me I don't think anyone could.
I turn into the familiar pathway; it instantly gets darker by the trees being on either side of the gravel road. I pull up to the house; it looks dark and sad. It's been years since I've been here. I remember I use to be so excited when we came here, I would beg my father all the time.
*Flashback*
I screamed in excitement as dad pulled up to the house. "Calum." My father chuckled shaking his head. "I'm sorry dad I'm just soooo excited." I said dramatically. My father hoped out of the car and I quickly followed him. "Dad I wanna go in the water."
"You will right away, son."
"Oh just let him." My mother smiled at my dad.
"I suppose."
I run towards the water leaving my parents behind me. "Be careful Calum!" I hear my mom call from behind me. I run down the little hill its on. I'm instantly greeted with the front of the house and the dock. I run to end of the dock and I sit down. I rip my shoes on socks off and dip my feet in. The water is slightly warm. "Dad when can we go fishing?!"
M dad chuckles as he opens the door to the house. I look back at him with a huge smile my my face. "Soon my son."
*end*
"Soon my son" echoed in my head. He's never looked at me like that ever since it happened. It's hard to remember the days where my father acted like an actual father. I can clearly remember the days when we came here. He would take me fishing, swimming, canoeing, and hiking. Now he barely looks at me when he's home, and he's rarely there. I use to think he was the best father ever, he was my hero at one point. I now have nothing but hate for him. These memories are dreadful. That wasn't my father, the one he is now is who he is. No stupid little memories of him acting like one will change that.
For moment I forget the reason why I was here and who I was with. I turn to see Taylor still sound asleep. "Taylor." I whisper. I lean over and kiss her her cheek. Her eyes open and she instantly smiles. "We're here."
She looks at her surroundings, she slightly gasps. "A lake house?" I nod.
"It's very beautiful."
"It's my parents we use to come here when I was younger." My brain doesn't catch up with the words that come out of my mouth. Did I really just say that. I quickly jump out of the car and I grab both of our bags. "Shall we go." She nods.
I hope bringing her isn't a mistake. I just can't think of the painful memories that were held here. I can do this.
I have Taylor and she makes me forget about most of my problems.
But my demons like to somehow always show up.
_______________________________________
I wanna love you, but I don't know how.
