Poison

Chapter 18

"Fuck." I mumbled to myself as I drive out ofAlex's neighborhood. She's right. Alex is completely right. I do have a cycle. I treat her like shit one day, and then like a princess the next. I know that. I know that's bullshit. I SHOULD be keeping my word. Sex. Nothing more. Nothing less. But every time I finally start to let all the crazy emotions go, they seem to bounce back with more force than ever and next thing I know, I'm fighting some fuck head I don't even know. I was already angry when he walked past me. More at myself than anyone else. I embarrassed Alex in front of everyone to push her away but once I saw the lifelessness in her eyes and that she wouldn't even look at me.. I wanted to rip my heart out. I can't make up my own fucking mind! I want to be fuck buddies with her, but shes worth more than that. I want to push her away, but I need her as close a possible. She's just a girl... But she gives me this warm feeling in my stomach whenever she smiles. I dot want to feel this way. I have never felt this way in my life. I feel so... Involved. Vulnerable. I hate it. But not her.. I don't hate her.

"Are you going to tell me you're no good again? Is that how the cycles going to go? Is that it?"

How was I supposed to answer that? "Oh well sorry about that, I'm just at war with myself and don't know how to handle what you do to me." Or maybe "You give me emotions I don't understand and that fucking scares me." She wouldn't buy that. And even if she did, she wouldn't know what to make of it. Shit, I don't know what to make of it. And like a fucking genius, I told her that she couldn't handle me. Knowing her, she's going to take that as a challenge and try to get passed the wall I put up. And knowing me... I won't be able to resist her.

I'm fucked.

---------|| { The next day } ||---------

Alex's POV

I walked through the school doors in deep thought. How was I going to show Harry I wasn't a prude, without getting myself arrested? I tried to wear something a little less safe today. I wore a little summer dress. It was black and short and I wore it with my gladiator sandals. I had my hair down my back since I knew he licked it that way. Maybe I'd just fuck him. I though as I walked to my locker and input the combination. It opened on the first try and I stuffed my belongings into it. I heard footsteps behind me and a locker door open. I turned to see Harry in black sweat pants, a plain white T-shirt, some Adidas sandals with black socks, and a grey beanie he let the front if his hair slip out of. I smiled to myself and walked over to him. I leaned on the locker next to his and waited for him to be finished. Once he put his things in order, he gave me a small smile.

"What's with the sudden change in wardrobe?" I asked.

"I woke up late so these are basically my PJs." He said with a light chuckle.

I looked him up and down and smirked. "I know exactly what I'll do to show I'm not a prude." I thought to myself.

"Why are smiling at me like that?" He asked.

"Hmm no reason." I said as I hooked my finger into the collar of his shirt and dragged him behind me.

"C'mon. Off to first period." I said with a skip.

Harry and I sat in our regular seats in the back of the class room for first period. I never really paid attention but today I directed my gaze to the board. Harry was looking out of the window off to his right as he sat slumped in his chair. Perfect. As I kept my gaze on the chalk board as I placed my hand on his thigh. Harry jumped a bit at my touch and his gaze darted from my hand to my face. I kept staring at the board, nodding my head every couple of minutes to make it seem like I was listening, as I trailed my hand up his thigh nearing his penis.

"Al-Alex.. S-Stop." He stuttered.

But smirked but kept my eye on the board. I slowly grabbed his length, which was easy with the sweat pants he had on, and stroked him through his pants. He nibbled on his bottom lip as his face twisted in pleasure. I quickened the pace slightly causing Harry to roll his head back and grunt. A couple of student looked but thought nothing of Harrys small outburst.