Sunshine Academy (Violetta Fanfiction )

chapter 17

Hello ! so uh let me make this quick , the song up top is the one from this chapter and the edit is of Diego . made it myself :) do you guys like it ? 

thanks for reading ! gtg xx

Chapter 17

Sheila's POV

Have you ever looked at the world , seen how breathtakingly beautiful it is , then hated yourself because you're too ugly to belong in such a pretty place ?

Have you ever looked at people , seen how , even the people that society would label as "ugly" or "fat" walk around with all the confidence in the world and wondered how the hell they can manage that when you can't even look at the mirror without hating yourself .

It's painful , very painful to see yourself as ugly , as repulsive . It's painful to know that you're not as thin as you should be or as curvy as you should be . It's painful thinking that everyone is looking at you , judging you , even though you know that they probably don't care , but you still surrender to the paranoia and watch your every move , dying of embarrassment if you accidentally do something you shouldn't even if no one was really looking .

It's painful to hate yourself , and when your family hates you too and sends you away to the farthest , shittiest place they can think of , you just know that there's something wrong with you . That you're wrong , that your existence is a mistake . No One needs to say it, you just know . And it's ironic really , that you can see beauty in everything except yourself .

It breaks me every day , knowing I'll never be good enough . And sure , Vilu helped for a while , for a few minutes she made me feel less worthless , but the moment she left , I hated myself again , and I tried , I really tried to stop but I couldn't help but relapse , because when Broduey died I couldn't stop myself from thinking that it should've been me , because no one would miss me and I wouldn't have to watch my only friends suffering all of the time .

I shudder every time I think about how they'll react if they found out my secret . They would hate me , because not only am I a useless waste of space , I'm also doomed for hell .

Thinking like that , so negatively is something I'm cursed with , it never stops . I hugged my whale shaped stuffed animal and tried to stop myself from crying . But I failed .

Jona's POV

My mom was happy today , she spent the night in Matias' room and I was happy for her, really I was . But , as I sat alone in my room , trying to read my notes from English Class , I couldn't help but think , that maybe , my dad could've had chance if it wasn't for Matias .

I looked at his picture on my desk and let a tear slide down my face , I was with him in the picture. He was carrying me on his shoulders and we were both smiling . My mom took this picture after my first school play , it was a musical , The Wizard Of Oz , and I was Dorothy and my dad said I sounded like an angel , just like my mom .

Shortly after that however, he became an alcoholic and as a result , a complete abusive asshole . He even got my mom fired from her job because he showed up in the middle of her class and started cussing in front of the students before beating up the principle . After that ,no one would hire my mom . That's why she didn't think twice when she was offered the job at Sunshine Academy . My father wasn't helping us financially and she was scared I might starve to death . And this is where she met Matias .

But my dad changed , he got his life back on track and came all the way over here just to get my mom back . But no , she had already fallen for Matias , and I couldn't just leave her here alone so I stayed too.