For Better, For Worse (BWWM) | COMPLETE ✔

✔ Four: "I'd hug you if I could."

Justin

The weather was looking better than it had been over the last few days. Not that it mattered to me. I didn't have a roof over my head so whether it was raining, snowing or blazing hot, I got to experience the weather like never before.

When I decided to 'die', I thought it would be easy. Silly me, I'd given everything away beforehand. But being homeless wasn't as bad as I thought. For the first time in many years, I felt... real. No one looked twice at me, much to my relief. I'd wanted to move abroad when I first left the scene but I'm known everywhere so I could never run away from my superstar life. That's why being homeless, as hard as it is, was the only option for me.

Sometimes I go without proper food; sometimes I only have one dollar to my name. At first, I was very tempted to sit somewhere and sing to make a bit of money to buy something as small as a hotdog but, who doesn't know my voice? That's why saying as little as possible to whoever cares to talk to me is best.

I missed the things I once had: travelling the world, being adored by millions, changing lives and being thanked for it... even my relationship with Becky, in the beginning of course. I missed having someone to hold at night-- I missed having a bed to sleep in! I even missed little things like... wifi.

I hadn't kept in touch with the world in years so I kind of felt like a neanderthal, but sometimes when I walked past stores and they had televisions on display at their windows, I heard about what was happening in the world of celebrities. Last time I got any gossip from tv, I found out that Becky was still with Ryan. She was now some soap opera actress and was pregnant. I guess they were meant to be. I never even imagined I was being cheated on. I was so fixed on working hard to make her my queen that I couldn't see the truth.

So here I was, homeless, friendless, hungry, cold and walking down the street to my little shelter I'd made in the park. I'd gotten $5 from a little girl and her friend who felt sorry for me and a loaf of bread from an old lady. Better than nothing.

It was dark and I couldn't wait to get some rest. It had been a long day of trying to survive.

Still walking, I heard a scream coming from just down the street.

I saw a lot of things, living in the streets. I'd witnessed police brutalities, drunk idiots trying to take shots at each other, robberies... very rarely did I interfere but I hated men who took advantage of women in any way.

I hurried down the street and found that two guys were trying to rob a woman. One was holding a knife to her throat and the other was digging in her purse for money.

"Hey!" I shouted, now running towards them.

The guys looked at me then made a run for it, leaving the lady's bag behind.

Shaking, the lady got on her knees to retrieve her belongings which were scattered all over the sidewalk.

It was Liv.

"They took my fucking wallet." She muttered, not even noticing me help her.

But I knew she noticed. Nobody could actually ignore me. I mean, I'm homeless and didn't exactly smell like a rose garden.

She was trying not to cry, quickly wiping her tears then picking up her phone and keys.

"Here you go." I handed her a notebook and lipstick I'd picked up.

She looked at me and took the book and lipstick and shoved them in her bag.

She was breathing heavily and started digging in her purse again.

"Are you okay?" I asked, though it was a stupid question, considering she'd just been mugged.

"F-Fine. Just... can't find my pills." She inhaled sharply, still digging in her purse.