Leave it to Me (Mavin)

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Cuts

This chapter is kinda graphic and depressing. You've been warned.

When I awoke again, my brother was standing over me. He seemed to be washing out the cuts I had. All I could do was let him.
I felt so different. It was like I fell asleep happy and awoke feeling depressed and upset.
But I still just sat there, feeling numb and hollow.
When my brother finished, he let me get up and go to my room. I did and slowly stood up and headed to my room, dizziness overcoming me.
I plopped down on my bed and curled up into a ball. All the sudden, tears washed over my eyes and I felt like I was drowning. My throat closed up and I made choking noises as I bawled into my pillow.
Eventually I stood up and paced around. I was still dizzy and I collided with various things. I didn't care. I felt like I needed to do something to relieve myself.
I looked around my room and my eyes rested on my travel bag. I stumbled over to it and kneeled down, looking through that one pouch that I knew what I was looking for was in.
I pulled out my razor.
I crawled under the desk I had and rolled my sleeve up. I took a quick intake of air and lowered the blade to my skin.
One cut wasn't enough. I cut two, three, five, seven, ten times before I dropped the blade and burst into more tears.
The blood soaked into my clothes. My pants, shirt, blazer, everything. My white shirt was now a crimson red, my blazer and pants were slick with blood. I could care less though. At this point, it was the only thing keeping me sane.
I heard the door open and I didn't bother to look up. I heard the shuffle of dress shoes against a carpet and when I did look up, my brother was kneeling before me.
"I need help," I croaked.
My brother nodded and sat in front of me. He took my wrists and frowned, seeing them covered in blood. I shook my head and hoped he wouldn't start the stupid speeches that people did when someone was dealing with depression.
But to my surprise, he just stood up and left the room. I wondered if he was just gonna leave me there. I wouldn't blame him though, I would too.
But when he returned with a towel and peroxide I knew he wasn't gonna leave me alone. He grabbed my phone and handed it to me.
"Call Michael," George told me.
I sighed and went to Michael's contact. I listened to the rings and finally heard Michael pick up.
"What," He growled. I made a quiet squeaking noise at the aggressiveness of his tone.
"Mi-cool," I croaked.
"Gavin, look, if this isn't serious then I don't think we should be talking. I'm kinda raging right now and-," I cut him off.
"I cut myself," I muttered.
I could almost see him stopping whatever he was doing and holding the phone a little close to him.
"You what?" He said softer.
"I-I cut myself," I breathed.
"Why?" He asked me, his voice soft and smooth.
"I wanted too," I muttered.
"Gavin, that's not a viable reason," He told me.
"I couldn't take the numbness anymore," I muttered even quieter.
"Gavin, should I get you a therapist or-," Michael started.
"Please don't. That won't help," I mumbled stubbornly.
"Well, what am I supposed to do, Gav?" I heard Michael's voice crack. I instantly felt bad for putting him in this situation.
"Just talk to me, please," I begged him.
"Okay. So uh, how was the party thing?" Michael asked again. My sobbing picked up then.
"It was horrible. All these prestigious people waiting for me to slip up. Ready to call me out for every little mistake I made," I croaked. Michael took a deep breath.
"Why didn't you?" He asked me.
"Wot?" I asked him back.
"Why didn't you give them what they wanted? You should've done it to rub it in their faces. I don't know how to explain it but I feel like if you just acted like... Well, you, it would've put them in their place," Michael told me.
I thought for a moment and realized he was right. If I just acted like myself I could've shown them up. Proved to them that I didn't need to be proper to have a good life.
"I feel stupid now," I muttered.
"Isn't that how you always feel..?" Michael said in a joking tone.
"Shut up, Mi-cool," I mumbled at him, adding in my own giggle at the end.
"There ya go. Sounds like you're feeling better," He told me.
"Cause of you," I smiled.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm kinda busy so I'll call you later?" He asked me.
"Tomorrow. I'm going to bed," I told him.
"Isn't it like... Eight there?" He asked me.
"Yeah, so?" I retaliated.
"I... Never mind," He breathed out. I giggled slightly.
"I love you, my lovely little Mi-cool," I told him.
"Love you too, butt munch. Sweet dreams," He told me.
"Thanks," I muttered before he hung up.
"Well, I'm about done here," George told me. I looked down and admired his work. My arms were bandaged up pretty nicely and the cuts seemed to be clean.
"Thanks, George," I told him before crawling out from under the desk.
"No problem, little brother," He told me. He pointed to my bed and I saw pajamas picked out for me on the bed. I rolled my eyes and looked at him.
"Don't be mum," I told him.
"Don't scare me like that then," George told me.
I rolled my eyes again and stripped. I put my pajamas on and George turned back around.
"Get some sleep, Vinny," George told me. He walked towards me and kissed the top of my head.
Before he could walk away, I grabbed his wrist and gave him my begging look. He looked at me in confusion.
"Don't leave me," I croaked. George nodded and crawled into my bed with me.
I smiled as my brother pressed his chest against my back. This probably would look extremely gay to others but, to me, it was two brothers sharing a brotherly moment. I felt like I was five again when I'd run to my brothers room to cuddle with him during a thunderstorm. Or when mum and dad were arguing. Or when life just became too much to handle.
I drifted off to my brother humming softly to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, um, I was really depressed when I wrote this so yeah. Sorry if it's a little weird but I had a lot of emotions to get off my chest so yeah.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Please leave some feedback. It'll be greatly appreciated. Sorry if updates are slow for this.
Plus, I know brothers typically don't act like that (especially not Gavin and George) but I thought it would be cute so yeah.