5SOS Imagines

Ashton

Most days just blur by, mixing together with everything that is real around you. Like a dream the images are not pleasant at all. Some days, it all came in flashes. Certain memories always coming back to you, even when you don't want them to. Some things you'd rather never remember.

Even then, so bright you remember the two of you in the shower. You were humming and singing, the warm water running over your smooth skin. Near you could hear someone moving around outside the shower curtain. The familiar sound of his footsteps making your heart skip a beat inside your chest as his voice joined yours in a song. Suddenly, you got a really weird abdominal pain, a soft moan escaping your lips as your knees got weak. Your body felt like gelatin from the pain as you crouched down underneath the shower spray and called out his name softly.

"The memory always ends there," You whisper after you finish telling the story, a warm tear slipping down your cheek and rolling down.

"Was that the day it happened?" The woman asked from behind the desk before you nod slowly. His hand moves forward to touch yours but it only makes you jump. You forgot he was there, in the session with you.

"Anything else you'd like to talk about? Another memory?" She asked and once again you nodded before taking a deep breath.

"The next one, I am always sitting in a white gown in a hospital..." You began but the images were already manifesting in front of your eyes. All of a sudden you weren't there anymore. No, you were back to that day. Back in that hospital. You could see him through the glass talking to a doctor. His hands ran through his hair and they were shaking but you could not hear what he was saying and he wouldn't look at you. Why wouldn't he look at you?

"I think that is enough for today. Thank you so much, Dr. White." He said from beside you, standing up and making you look at him for the first time in the hour you had both been sitting on that couch. That was the most he had said during all of that time. In these you always talked, and talked. He never said anything. He never had anything to say. Not even during your drive home.

And then you were both in your bedroom. More like your bedroom because the two of you had not shared a bed since it had happened. He pulled the covers back and you laid down, your back to him as you curled into yourself.

He was trying to say something. Probably asking about dinner but you kept ignoring him, you didn't feel like talking now. Not anymore. You heard him murmur something in frustration and you just stayed there just laying and crying, curled up into yourself. He got up abruptly from the bed and left the room and you heard him punch a door before you heard a sob. It wasn't yours. You couldn't remember hearing him cry since the night it happened. He had been crying when he'd come back into the hospital room.

You slipped out of the bed and moved towards the door, your hand on the handle but you couldn't make yourself leave the room. Softly, you could hear him talking on the phone but could barely understand what he was saying, but one thing stuck out from the mumbled words. And out of everything you heard him as he clearly said: "Mom we lost him... And I'm afraid I'll lose her too". You knew then, that you would be talking about this in your next session because those words... Those words would always come back to haunt you.