YouTube Love

Chapter 19

I opened my eyes and everything was a bit blurry. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, I could feel something on my finger. I looked at my hand; my eyes still not really focusing. "What the hell?" I blinked hard and finally my eyes focused. I looked at my hand and saw something stuck on my finger.
I looked around and saw I was in a hospital room laying in a hospital bed. "What the..." I said weakly and tried to sit up. My body was so tense. It felt like I had a million pulled muscles. I cried out in pain softly; grimacing. I felt someone take my hand. "It's okay, Jess. You're okay. Just relax."
I opened my eyes, Mark was standing there; both of his hands holding my one.
"Mark..." I said weakly. "Wha...what happened?" My mind was starting to get cloudy and my head felt heavy. I laid back down and tried to get comfortable; I looked back at him.
"The doctors said you had a panic attack." He told me. I could hear the concern in his voice. He looked as if he had been crying; his red, bloodshot puffy eyes were still slightly tear filled. He had some redness spread out throughout his face. He still hadn't taken his hands away from mine. "Have you ever had an attack before?" He asked me.
My mind was too fogged over. I couldn't think straight let alone remember back if I ever had an attack before. I closed my eyes.
I just shook my head. I opened my eyes again to see him sitting next to me. His brown eyes were so beautiful. I just stared into them for a while. Partly because I was so out of it.
He took one of his hands away and stroked my cheek with it. "My baby..." He said quietly. "My beautiful...BEautiful baby girl..."
He sniffed and I could see tears welling up in his eyes.
I squeezed the hand that was still holding mine with all the strength I had. "Mark...don't cry..." I told him. "I'm okay...I promise..."
He hid his face as he started to cry. I put his hand over my chest and kissed it too. He looked up at me and shook his head. "I...I thought..." He sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I thought you weren't going to wake up..." I just put his hand on my cheek and then smiled weakly.
"Mark, honey. I'm okay..."
He sniffed, stood up and kissed my head. "I was supposed to let a nurse know as soon as you woke up." He informed me. He walked out of the room and came back 5 minutes later with a nurse.
"Well hello there miss Jessica!" She said cheerfully. "How are we feeling today?" She started moving my legs and arms around.
"I'm sore, my head feels heavy and I feel out of it." I told her. I winced a bit as she moved my limbs around. It felt like a boulder had just been lifted off of me. I was trying so hard not to cry. It was so sore.
She stopped moving my arms and legs and checked the monitors. "You're vitals are good." She said. I looked over at Mark who was right next to me. I had never seen him so concerned.
"I'll just bring the doctor in and he can give you the rest of the information."
I just nodded. "Thank you." Mark said for me.
She left and Mark sat back down next to me. I turned onto my side and looked at him.
"You know something." He said. "I am not leaving your side. No matter what. I am always going to be here. Holding you, supporting you, helping you, and most important: loving you. Always."
My heart stopped for a second. The words were ringing in my head. It was the first thing that had been clear.
"Mark...did you jus-". He cut me off. He took both my hands and kissed them; then he put them over his heart. He stroked my hands gently with his thumbs. "Yes, Jess. I love you. I know it's way too soon to say that but I do, I love you with all my heart."
I smiled widely. Now I was tearing up. "Mark...I-I love you too..." I said.
He smiled and leaned over and kissed me. He broke away and then sat back down in the chair. He still had my hands over his heart. I didn't want this moment to end.

The doctor had come in and explained what happened. I had a panic attack. I needed to take it easy and not exert myself. I needed as much relaxation as I could get. He then cleared me and turned off the monitors. He took the thing that was attached to my finger off. He sat the bed up and said to take my time and to go fill out the paperwork at the front desk before we left.
My mind was still cloudy but one thing was still ringing through it. Mark loves me; and I love him.
He helped me get out of the bed and handed me the clothes that were in a pile on the window sill. "I don't want to overstep any boundaries, so I'll let you get yourself changed." He said. He helped me walk to the bathroom and then shut the door. "Take your time." He said through the door.
I slowly got the clothes on looked at myself in the mirror that was in the bathroom. I looked like a mess. I was absolutely gross. I made a face at myself. Blech.
I opened the door and smiled at him. He held out his hand and I took it. He handed me his hoodie. "I want you to be comfy." He said.
I pulled the hoodie on and he hugged me. He kissed the top of my head and then rested his cheek on it. We sat there for a bit.
As we were walking out, I pulled out my phone to record. "HeeeeEEEEEEEEyyy guys..." I started. "I am so sorry for not recording in such a long time but I have some news..."
I proceeded to inform what had happened. I took Mark's hand and turned the camera a bit so he was in the shot. "This guy is absolutely incredible. Not only did he stick by me all night, but he gave me his hoodie so I could be comfy." I looked at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then I rested my head on his shoulder. I stopped the recording.
I quickly uploaded the video and put my phone away.
We made it down to the lobby and Mark went to the desk to fill out the paperwork.
I sat in the lobby and pulled out my phone again. I pulled up Twitter and was reading some tweets before I sent one of my own. "About to be released from the hospital. Video with details up on the channel."
Send.

Mark came over and stood next to me. "You ready to go, baby?"
I looked up at him and smiled. "Yep." I stood up slowly and he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in gently, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "I love you so much." He said. I put my head on his shoulder. "I love you too."

We got back out to the car and he helped me in. Then he got in the drivers side. He pulled out and then we started back home.