YouTube Love

Chapter 40

-Mark's POV-

To be all quite honest, I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to stay right there with her but her screaming at me was the last of it. I wasn't going to deal with her screaming at me for me asking a simple question. I was driving around LA and finally parked in front of the park where Jess and I go to take walks almost everyday. I was lost in thought until I heard my phone buzz. I saw Sean's picture.

"Hey, man, what's up?" I asked.
"J-J-Jess..." he stuttered.
"Yes, my fiance Jess...what about her?" I asked him.
"S-sh-sh-she...she t-t-tried..." He stuttered again.
Now my heart was pounding. "Sean, what happened." I demanded. The line was quiet for a bit.
"She tried to kill herself." Sean finally said.
My heart dropped.
"She what?" I said quietly.
"She had a knife aimed at her heart, she was sobbing; I had to take the knife away and just hold her. Fuck dude. I don't know what happened between you two, but she is passed out." Sean said.
"Where are you." I demanded.
"I am sitting in the lobby. Waiting to hear news." he told me.

That was all I needed, I sped out of the parking lot. I floored it to the hospital. I probably ran all the red lights; broke about 5 laws, I didn't care. Jessica was my one thought going through my mind. God, why the fuck didn't I stay with her?! She needed me. I wasn't thinking that's why.

I quickly parked and then ran into the lobby. I searched for Sean and then saw him sitting on a chair with his head in his hands. I quickened my pace as I walked over to him. I placed my hand on his shoulder while panting. He quickly looked up at me, I could tell he had been crying from the tear stained cheeks and his red puffy eyes. He stood up then pulled me in for a hug. He started to cry all over again. I was about to start crying myself until a voice called out; "Jessica Guyett?" I broke the embrace between Sean and I and walked up to the nurse with Sean at my side. "I'm her fiance." I told the nurse. She then looked at Sean and I quickly said "He's a close family friend." She then just nodded. "I'll let it slide this time." She then lead us back down a long hallway with numerous rooms on either side. My heart pounded harder in my chest with each room we passed. When we got to the end of the hall and entered Jessica's room, my heart shattered into a billion pieces. There, laying in a bed was the love of my life; a tube in her nose with wires attaching her to several machines. She was sleeping with the faint sound of her breathing along with the beeping of her heartbeat. I couldn't move. I was paralyzed in that spot. Tears sprung into my eyes as I just stood there watching her lying in that bed. I saw Sean walk over to the side of the bed and take her hand. He was talking to her, telling her that she is unbelievably lucky, how much I loved her.
"Oh, Jessica...what have I done?" I thought to myself. I slowly sauntered my way over to the other side of the bed. I took her hand and just stared at her. Sean was still talking, but it was all buzzing. Everything seemed to evaporate so that it was just her and I there. "Jess...I-I'm-" the tears were welling up in my eyes. How could I have been so thoughtless? None of this would have happened, she wouldn't be in this bed, she would be perfectly fine, if I had just stayed there with her. Fuck! I'm a god damn idiot.
I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and looked to see Sean standing there. "I-I'll leave you two be. I'm gonna go take a walk." I simply nodded and he left the room.
I sat in the chair next to the bed. Looking at her was like looking at my heart breaking. I finally broke down and balled there at her side. "Jess. I'm so sorry! I never should've left you. You did nothing wrong. Please, just don't leave me. I need you..." I sobbed. My mind went back to the times we had with one another. When I had first met her in person. How she greeted me at the door still in her pajamas with no make up on and a black beanie. When I had taken her out and we had that little mini photoshoot by the window. I still have the pictures on my phone and still look at them everyday. When I asked her to be my girlfriend. How she had no clue what was going on. When I proposed to her on Christmas morning. Her face lighting up. She was perfect. She was meant for me. I don't think I could be happier with anyone else.
"Please Jess, please come back to me." I stood up and gave her a kiss in the forehead. She then suddenly gasped and lurched forward a bit. I moved just in time to see her waking up. "Jess?"
She looked over at me then her face was washed over with a pained look. "M...Mark?" She said quietly. I smiled. She looked around the room and then felt the tube in her nose. She then looked back at me and I rubbed my thumb on her hand. "What are you doing here?" She asked. "I thought you left." My smile fell.
"I did. It was the stupidest thing I ever could have done. I'm so sorry." I told her.
"Mark..." She started. "You left me...when I needed you most."
I hung my head, slightly swaying it back and forth. I sighed. "I know Jess, I let you down. I am so sorry."
She just looked at me with a stone cold face. "Mark...how do I know you're not going to leave again?" She asked.
"I'm here now aren't I?" I said, trying to reassure her. She looked away. I moved closer to place my finger under her chin. Turning her face towards mine, I said "Leaving you in a time of need was the most idiotic thing I could've done. But I swear to you," my eyes made contact with the diamond in her finger. She was still wearing the ring. I smiled to myself. "I'm not leaving your side ever again."