evanescent

seven

I got to my car and i felt guilty for just leaving Harry like that. I felt as if I shouldn't have gone off on Harry like I did. I didn't love Harry like I used to but I had respect for Harry, like I did anyone else and it didn't feel right to treat him the way I did. I brought up things I knew would make Harry mad and that wasn't anyway to show him respect. I didn't love him or anything and I knew I said all the right things but I should've just left him alone.

I drove home thinking about Harry. I hated that all of a sudden after close to three years I was thinking about him non stop again. I had gotten to the point where I only thought about him once in a while but now it was every second and I hated myself for that. I didn't need someone like him around, influencing me like he was. He wasn't someone I loved to be around or wanted to be around.

When I got home I made myself a small snack and started to do homework for my classes. This had been my routine for years. To eat something and just bust out work and do my best. It was the easiest way for me to get things done and still be able to enjoy the night and spend time with people I loved later. I had just finished a worksheet when my phone started to buzz a million times.

Unknown Number: I have no idea if this is still your number but I've kept it all this time and I don't really care if its not at this point because I need to get my feelings out there. If I at least fool myself into thinking you've seen it, Daisy it is better than nothing.

Unknown Number: Okay, Princess Daisy. i can honestly say I had no idea that you went to this school. I just got offered the job so I took it. I know you feel threatened by this and I know for a fact you do but it isn't like that. I didn't want to make you feel that way. I'm sorry for that. I wanted to be with you again. I loved you and I still do and I just want to spend time with you.

Unknown Number: Well know that I think about it I did make you feel creepy. The whole memory of the first day... sorry that was creepy. I didn't mean it like that I knew what type of what it would make you feel. I have to be honest, I know exactly what to do to piss you off, to turn you on, to make you love me... I know you so well I can do that so easily and I don't know how to stop. I want you to know that I was doing that.

Unknown Number: It wasn't a nice thing to do and I know that but I wanted your attention. You have the most precious face and seeing your big, bright eyes and your body ignited something in me again. It reminded me of the way your delicate hands made me feel. I just, I don't know. You make me feel a certain way and I don't know what to do with myself.

Unknown Number: I just needed to get that out and tell you my feelings. I love you.

I locked my phone and just looked straight ahead of me. I had no idea what to think. I knew it was Harry, it was obvious it was him without him saying it. He was the only person who would say those kind of things to me. He was sweet and apologetic and it made my heart flutter in a way I wouldn't want it to. I didn't want to feel any kind of romantic feeling for Harry but I could tell it was in my future. 

I tried to get back into my work but I felt obligated to respond. I could easily ignore the text or pretend like it wasn't mine but that was a petty lie I didn't want to be apart of. I wanted to respond to him and talk to him. He just laid everything out on the line for me and I wanted to respond. 

Getting involved with Harry was a tangled web of drama, though, and I wasn't sure any of it was worth it. I was so happy with Niall and I didn't want to to ruin it all. I could see it all now. I would start talking to Harry again, behind Niall's back of course and I would feel guilty. I would be so mad at myself for jeopardizing what I had with Niall but I would do it anyway. Eventually, Niall would catch Harry and I talking and he would know it was flirting and that we liked each other. He would just know. He would leave me and I would be kicked out of his apartment. I would think my life would be happy with Harry if this were to happen but I know it wouldn't.

I finished the worksheet I was on and really put no effort into it. I put down the answers and made sure it was all done so I could at least get completion points. I put all my school things back into my bed and laid down on the bed with my phone. I decided to scroll through the texts again. The things he said made me happy. There was something about the things he told me that brought me back to that place we were in when i was in high school. I felt bad and dirty but happier than I ever had in my life. 

The way he still called me princess. The way he mentioned my big eyes and how my hands used to make him feel made me remember all the ways he made me feel. His words somehow meant so much to me in this moment. I missed the passion and excitement I felt when I was with him. Everything felt so wrong yet so right when I was with him. Niall was boring compared to harry.

Daisy: I think we need to talk