evanescent

eleven

I was thankful Niall told me about Harry being his brother but I still had a lot on my mind. I was mad because it had been delayed for so long and he lied about his family events but I also knew it wasn't all his fault. Harry was also to be blamed for this happening. I was close with Harry before I was Niall and he could have told me. Harry could've explained this hatred toward his brother with me back when it all happened and saved us all the trouble. Also, Rose knew that Harry and Niall were brothers. She was my friend and she could have told me in High School too. There were a lot of people at fault for this.

"Are you mad at me?", Niall followed me out into the living room at sat down next to me on the couch.

" I don't know", I ran my hands through my hair and sighed," I don't know if I have the right to be mad or if I should be mad at you or Harry."

"You can be mad at either one of us and I totally understand. I should have told you way sooner and he should've told you way sooner. It was unfair to you", Niall explained and I nodded.

I agreed with everything that he said. They both were in the wrong. I was in Harry's life at one point and he could've told me and the same goes for Niall. I have been with Niall for the longest time and the fact that he never told me that Harry was his brother his fault. My anger was slowly turning into confusion though. I had no idea why they felt like they needed to hide this secret from me. Why would the fact that they are brothers change the way I feel about either of them. 

" I want to talk to Harry", I blurted out, " Is that okay with you? I just want to get his side of the story.

"That's fine. You don't have to ask me to talk to anyone", he said and I nodded. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and immediately texted Harry saying that I needed to talk to him and get his side of the story. It was almost instantly that he responded saying he would meet me at the Starbucks down the street from our campus. 

"I'll be back", I said kissing Niall, he smiled, " I love you."

"Love you too", he said and I left the apartment. I could tell that Niall was on edge as I left. I think he was expecting me to be really mad at him for hiding this secret. I was mad but I wasn't as mad as I thought I was going to be. The fact that Niall and Harry were brothers wasn't a deal breaker for me so Niall had virtually nothing to worry about. 

Once I got to my car I immediately grabbed my phone and called Harry. I had called him once before but I still felt the same anxiety I did before. I was nervous for how he was going to act and I was nervous about the remarks he was going to make towards me. He made more nervous in the same way that he did when I was in high school over something as simple as a phone call.

"So she speaks", Harry says and annoyed but interested smile creeps onto my face. 

"Unfortunately, I do", I said and sighed," We need to talk."

"I'd love that", he said and I could tell he was smiling.

"Well we are talking about you and your brother so don't get too excited", I said and he sat in silence for a while.

"He told you?"

"Obviously. Now do you wanna meet at the Starbucks 2 blocks from campus or are we just not going to talk about this?", I asked.

"Yeah", he said and I could hear some noises in the background of the call before he spoke again," I want to see you."

"Well, I'll be there in 15. See you then", I said coldly before hanging up, not giving him any time to say another word. 

I drove thinking about how coldly I was acting toward him and how much I hated it. I hated being mean to him and not just being able to talk to him on a normal level. I wanted to be casual and at least friendly with him. It wasn't me but I knew it was the percussion I had to take when associating myself with Harry. He was so mesmerizing and dreamy. I felt like if I let my guard down I would fall for him and we would hook up, I would cheat, and it would be a nightmare. I really doubted that would happen with Harry and I but I was still worried. I wasn't the type of girl anymore to go behind my boyfriends back but I was still worried. 

To my surprise when I arrived at the Starbucks I could see Harry sitting in the building, with two drinks, waiting for me. I was hoping I would be the first one out of us to arrive so I could have a moment to compose myself. Now I had to walk in, sit down, and talk to him ready for business. 

"I got you this", he said and I smiled at the cup. He knew this is what I used to drink in high school and bought it for me again. It was really sweet of him.

"Thank you", I said and took a sip. 

"You know Niall is just my step brother right?", he said," Because I get where it could be weird for you if we were blood brothers but we aren't."

"It's not weird to me either way is the thing. I mad because even after all these years no one has told me about these things. It wouldn't have been such a huge deal if you guys just told me and didn't act like you hated each other. I really thought that I was tearing your whole family apart because of the drama I caused between you two."

"We were just being jealous brothers. You were the apple of both of our eyes and we had to fight over you. It wasn't that big of a deal", he said reassuring me the same way that Niall did.

"Well thank you for reassuring me."

"And it was mostly my idea to keep a secret. It started when we were first together and I knew Niall knew about us. I wanted to make sure he would keep that a secret and he said he would. Once he started showing an interest in you I told him to not tell you we were brothers because I didn't want you to choose him over me."

"You were so insecure about me leaving you then. It blows my mind", I said and he took a sip of his drink while looking out the window. 

We both looked out the window for a while observing the gloomy fall weather. The rain had been coming down hard all day, the leaves were beginning to turn brown and soggy. This was the ideal weather in my opinion. He moved his hand so that it was right over mine and I didn't move it. I let it sit there warming me up and reminding me of the love that him and I had. It made me think of what him and I could've had if things would've worked out the way him and I dreamed they would.

"What did you mean when you said Rose knows more than I think?", I asked.

"Have you called her or do you just want me to tell you?"

"Tell me."

"When we got caught it wasn't because of how we were going about things or something we did wrong. We did everything perfectly. The teachers and cops told me, and I quote, that Rose was jealous of us and what we had so she felt like she needed to tell someone so that she didn't have to see us together anymore."

Don't let me be misunderstood// Lana Del Rey