evanescent

Fifteen

"If you didn't bring any clothes, I've got plenty you can borrow", Harry suggested playfully and I rolled my eyes. I had just gotten out of the shower, a towel wrapped around my body,and needed to grab my bag before I could get dressed. Of course Harry was in the room as I got out of the shower, it was not a surprise but it wasn't something that made me uncomfortable which was a shock.

"Oh trust me I brought clothes", I smirked and he laughed. If I were going to a girlfriend's place or anywhere else, I would've just slept in what I already had on but with Harry I had to have a spare everything. It was typical for him to make a move like this, he loves the way a girl looks in his clothes. 

Harry left the room as I got dressed and I checked my phone. Not a single text or call from Niall. I really thought he would have called or said something by now but he hadn't. I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt for right now, he was angry and needed to cool off. I didn't want to give up on anything that had just yet with him but it hurt. I wanted to be the girl that he loved and trusted so much that he wanted to run to. I wanted to be the girl that he loved so deeply that he didn't have to hide me from his parents, I never knew if I would be that.

I had brought myself to tears over that alone. He was the first guy who loved me as a person. Harry and I had something dirty and physical when we were together. Harry liked me but it was always a question of if he looked at me as an equal. Niall liked me, even when I was stupid and naive. He liked talking to me and when it came to any insecurity I had about my body, he accepted me with open arms. I was comfortable with Niall and to think that all of that might be over to him crushed me. I thought him and I were going to marry at one point, now I had no clue. Things felt like they were over more than anything.

I finally went downstairs and joined Harry, a towel still keeping my wet hair from dripping everywhere. 

"I made hot chocolate", Harry said sliding me over a warm mug. I sat down at the island and sipped at it.

"Thanks", I kept drinking it, minding my own business but I knew he was staring me down. I was a guest in his house and I wasn't going to start poking and prodding into his life. 

"You were crying upstairs weren't you?", he sat next to me and I looked up at him through wet eyelashes. My eyes were bloodshot red and I knew the second we made eye contact he would have the answer to his question.

"Clearly", I said and he laughed a little at my attitude.

"I have something to show you. I know this something isn't going to make you feel better but I just need to show you because you are run to me crying and upset and I can't take it anymore. It isnt fair to you and someone needs to come clean. You are too good for this... ", he continued rambling as he walked out of the room and into another but I could no longer hear him. Harry had done this before, just go on and on with thought and no one knew what he was talking about but this time I really wanted to listen. It was clearly about Niall and I, why wouldn't I want to hear more.

"I get that you think he is sweet, I really do, because sometimes he is. He is a nice kid too but god, he doesn't get you at all. He doesn't deserve anything that you give to him. He doesn't understand how to be committed to a person like you have to him. 

"What is that suppose to mean?", I asked and he looks at me holding a photo album full of pictures. Ready to show me what he meant. 

"So you started officially dating the summer after Niall graduated high school. Here is a picture of him with a girl he graduated with at our family barbecue", he showed me a picture of their family and Niall joined by a girl, his hand on her hip. It was frustrating but who knows, him and I weren't serious at the time and it was the early days. I couldn't be too mad. It was girl we had gone to school with and I wanted to be mad but the energy just wasn't there anymore.

"And Thanksgiving", he says pointing to another family photo, with a totally different girl," And Christmas. The same girl but look here is New Years and he is with a different girl." 

I wanted to make up an excuse for each of these pictures but I had nothing to say. I had no explanation for why he he had a different girl on his arm in each picture, for each holiday and family event. There was never a time where him and I had a break, or a time where I could say that him and I were talking to other people. We started dating the summer after he graduated high school, now two years later we are just as serious as I thought we had been that whole time. 

" Our parents anniversary, his birthday, my birthday, my sisters birthday, any event that our parents would have at our house where it would be considered a big party. He would bring a new girl, sometimes he would bring the same one twice but very rarely did anyone get to know any of the girls that he was bringing. I thought you two broke up once he started college, until more recently."

I sat there dumb founded. Looking through pages and pages of Niall posing for family pictures with girls I never knew. Dancing with other girls at family events, all while he was texting me or coming home to me. None of it made sense. He never seemed to let any of this slip, it was like he was living a double life. He was able to have fun with other girls for one night only while pleasing his parents but he also got to be in a committed relationship with me. 

"I never wanted to keep any of these family pictures, and why would I. These are memories with my family that I treasure and some of the pictures had to be ruined by girls that we never even knew. I even thought about cutting them out but I didn't want the pictures to look stupid, ya know, so I just kept them as they are and I guess they became useful because here I am getting to show them to you."

Harry stopped talking once he realized I was crying again. I wasn't even just crying a little bit like I was before, now I was full on ugly crying barely able to breathe. I was choking on my own tears and I had no idea where to go now. Harry took me into his chest and I wrapped my arms around him. He began to play with my hair as I cried and cried. My mind was blank at this point. I had been cheated on for the past two years of my life and I had no idea. 

Niall: Are you going to be coming home tonight? Miss you and love you