evanescent

Thirteen

The drive home was full of thought and confusion. I was so hurt by Rose if all of this was true. Hearing her tell about the things with Harry and I hurt, like the best friend I had grown up with was never really my best friend and all of my teenage years were a lie. I wanted to think that Harry was lying, I wished that I could believe that but why would he lie? I always assumed that adults had no reason to lie about small things like this. This was something Harry was involved in but he knew his place and wouldn't be telling me a lie just to sabotage my relationship with my best friend.

Arriving in the apartment complex and seeing Niall's car still there gave me comfort. He was still there and hopefully he was waiting for me to come back home so we could talk things out. I wanted things to be okay with Niall and I. I wanted to have the easy relationship that I had always had with him back. I never had to worry with Niall.

"Home again, home again", Niall said when I entered the door and I knew that things were alright. This was something Niall loved to say for reason I didn't know. I knew that if he was saying this things could be alright.

"Forever and always", I said sitting on the couch next to him, falling into his arms. Sports were on the TV and things were the way they had always been. I knew we needed to talk still but I just wished things could stay like this forever. 

"So, I called my Mom and she would like the two of us to come over for dinner tomorrow", he said,"  I know its kind of short notice but I think that it is time that you meet her."

The reminder that I had never met his parents had came up again and that frustrated me. Niall and I were in a serious relationship, we had been for a while and you would think that I would have already met the boys Mom, but all because of the the two most jealous brothers in the world, I hadn't.

"No I'd love to."

"I have no idea if Harry will be there but it doesn't matter, even if he is he knows your mine now and that he can't interfere after all of this."

I was Niall's girl after all of this but I had to help but wonder about this whole thing. What if I were Harry's and I was going to dinner as his instead. I wished I could live out both of the situations because after seeing Harry today and the way he treated me like such an adult, the way he looked at me like he missed me, I wondered. I wondered what the world I liked in would be like right now if I were Harry's girl.

My mind begin to wander deeper and deeper into the world of being Harry's girl. There was a sense of maturity that lingered every thought of a relationship with Harry. Harry was the guy that I could think about starting a family now with. Harry was the guy with so much worldly experience. Harry was the guy that no matter what I felt protected by. I felt like Niall was the opposite of those things a lot of the time.

"Are you listening to me?", he snapped me out of my fantasy.

"Sorry, I wasn't. I got sucked into the game", I lied.

"Like I was saying, its my Mom and Harry's Dad. Harry is a carbon copy of his father, not so much looks wise but they are both equally charming and there is just something everyone likes about them. He'll like you for a lot of the same reasons Harry likes you, I already know it. My Mom and I aren't as much alike as they are but we have a lot of the same personality-"

Niall continued on with thoughts of his family and their lifestyle. He told me about the way his mom would treat me and the way Harry's Dad would ask me questions. I could tell he was trying to calm my nerves about the dinner date with his parents but it only added on to the pressure. I didn't mind that the two of them were brothers but it did feel some kind of weird. There parents would have no idea that I got with both of their sons and that was weird. If they talked about Harry, I was going to have to act like I had only heard of him and like he wasn't the man I had lost my virginity to.

"Wait, why is Harry texting you?", Niall said picking up my phone and standing up. I looked up at him in confusion. The way he was talking to me was almost as if he was assuming the worst of me, like I had cheated on him when in reality it was probably a harmless text from Harry like all the other ones he had sent. 

"I loved seeing you today", he started, "You are just as beautiful as you were when you were young only a million times more. You are also a million times more mature and easy going, I just love talking to you. I respect that you are with Niall, and I will have to get over all of what we had but I just need to let you know. He will never be me. I know that he has never made you scream the way I have, let alone make you feel as special as I have made you feel. I've said these things all a million times before and I'll say it again. I love you in so many ways that I know he cant."

"You really let him send you those things", Niall yelled and I sat there in confusion once again.

"You think I let him say those things? I tell him to text me all these things to make you jealous? Harry is his own man Niall, I think he can make his own stupid text decisions."

"Don't blame this whole thing on him. Ya know, I worry about the two of you being together, I know what you guys had and I feel like I am risking my heart and soul by being with you. At any given moment you could go back to him. You could get any guy you wanted."

" Oh my god", I rolled my eyes, " Niall, I have been with you for how long now and you still think I am going to leave you for another guy or that I am thinking about other guys. Its been so long Niall and dealing with this insecurity makes it so hard to love you."

"What if Harry is right? What if I can't do all things that he could do for you?"

"You have to get over that Niall. I am with you, you are the only one in this relationship worrying about what he could do for me when I am contempt with you", both of us were full blown yelling at this point and it was hard not to.

"You said it was hard to love me."

"Well, it is! I am under the pressure of never talking to any other guy all the time just because you are insecure about me leaving and its getting really fucking old if you ask me."

"I worry about you is all! I worry!", he screamed like that was suppose to make me feel better about his insecurity towards other guys.

"Niall, I can't do this right now", I walked into our bedroom and started filling a bag full of clothes and necessities, " I am leaving for the night. I'm not telling you where I am going but if you trust me like I trust you. I might be with a guy, I might not but if you trust me then it won't matter and if you trust me we can still be together and if not then we will go from there."