evanescent

sixteen

Niall: Are you going to be coming home tonight? Miss and love you

The words "Miss and love you" felt like nothing to me. My heart didn't long for him. I didn't feel like he meant any of the words he had said to me. All the love he had given me and all the "I'm sorry's", were just words, he didn't mean anything he said to me. I had invested all of my teenage life into a boy who never really wanted to be invested into me. I was so serious in a relationship while all of my friends were out being young and stupid. I had wasted so much time. 

Harry let me out of his arms and just sat next to me as I fingered through the pictures in the photo album. Each girl looked different from the last, none of them looking anything like me. He had his hands on them in the family pictures, he kissed them on New Year's Eve, he danced with them at family parties. He had been doing this all while he was texting me how much he loved me and wished I was there. I had to wonder now if he ever loved me, if he ever felt like what we had was something real, or if he just liked to play with me.

"Was he serious about any of them?", I said, rubbing my eyes and looking over at Harry, he shrugged his shoulders, "Do you think he was ever serious about me?"

"I wish I knew, Daisy. I wish I could tell you yes", I rested my head on his shoulder and just kept looking through all of the pictures. I could not stop looking at the pictures of the boy I loved so much with all these different girls. There was something so odd about it, I could not look away. 

My phone started vibrating like crazy with texts from Niall and my stomach dropped into my chest. I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to have any conversation with him. I just wished I could pick up all my things while he was away from the house and leave. I wanted to leave him with no answer or conversation and just quit things. I knew it wouldn't be that easy but a girl could dream. 

Niall: Daisy, I know we need to talk things through.

Niall: I know I shouldn't have let you go so easily if you just come home we can talk.

Niall: Seriously, I am worried about you. You don't have to come back just please let me know you are safe.

"Harry, I have no idea what I am suppose to do or what I am suppose to say. I am done with him. I can't put up with this anymore", I handed him my phone and reading the texted he rolled his eyes.

"He can't just act like he wants to fight for you now. I hate that he thinks if he acts like he cares now you will think he means it."

My phone was sitting with the two of us between it and Harry grabbed it. He exited out of my text messages and went to straight to the camera. He pulled the photo album in front of him and started snapping pictures like crazy. Family photos of him with the girls and some where he was being really affectionate with him Once he got enough he went back to my conversation with Niall and began to click all of the photos.

"Can I send this?", he said showing me the 12 pictures he had decided to send to Niall with the words "We are done." , underneath them. I took the phone from his hand and looked through the pictures. I wanted to make sure that I wanted to do this. Looking at the pictures made me more and more furious with him. 

"Yeah hold on", I said going to the camera again but this time facing it at Harry and I. If I was going to send Niall this text with pictures of him and all these girls the least I could do was send him pictures of me and his brother. He had been consistently cheating on me for two years so the least I could do was send this. Show him that I could never trust him and now he couldn't trust me. 

Harry and I both stuck our middle fingers out for one picture and then I kissed Harry on the cheek for another. I added them to the thread of pictures in my conversation with Niall and pressed send. I would normally be nervous about something like this but I didn't care anymore.

"That was kind of fucked up wasn't it?", I said laughing and Harry looked at me like I was crazy.

"Maybe, but think about it. He really deserved it and in my opinion it was the least that you could do", he reassured me and now I was feeling confident. All I needed was for one person to tell me that what I had done wasn't wrong. Niall deserved every bad thing that I had gave him know and I wasn't going to sit in sadness over it.

It was a sad thing. The boy I thought was in love with me, the boy who I thought I was going to marry had been cheating on me with countless amounts of girls the whole time we were together. I was loyal and devoted to him. I changed my college plans so that I could be with him, I even made him a priority over my friends a lot of the time and for him to cheat on me like that was the biggest slap in the face I had ever received. 

From this point on, I was going to do what I wanted. No one to tell me what was right or wrong, no one to stop me. I had been comitted for a long enough time and it was about time for me to do what I wanted. I could date any guy I wanted, sleep with any guy I wanted. All the things that Niall hated I could do now and I couldn't be more excited for myself. I was free and that was the best feeling in the world. To think that I didn't even know how trapped I was in this relationship was the worst feeling, but now I was free.

"So, what should we do with the rest of our night", I said looking over to Harry and placing my hand on his chest. 

Sad Girl// Lana Del Rey