evanescent

thirty one

"I don't know about that, Harry."

The idea completely scared me. The fact that I would be around the family of two boys who I had a history with and around a family that had no clue about me. It sounded like a recipe for disaster. Their family would ask questions about me, in an obvious effort to get to know me, and one of the boys would end up making a snarky comment. The truth about Niall and I dating and his family knowing nothing would some how come out between the two of them. I felt it in my gut that something would end up going wrong.

But the image of Christmas with Harry was engraved in my mind. A happy dinner with family, an opening gifts with family. Staying in our pajamas all day and being conjoined at the hip. If it went the way I dreamed it to be, it would be perfect. Despite how unrealistic it was. I could imagine spending so many holidays with him and his family, not with Niall though. Niall was the thing that ruined this beautiful image of a happy family on Christmas.

"What don't you know about?", Harry asked.

"It sounds like trouble, I think you know that. Being in the same room with you and Niall, someone is going to say something snarky and get all of us in trouble. I've never got to meet your family before and I don't want to make a bad impression or be apart of what ruins Christmas for your family", I began to ramble, "And it sounds a lot like something a couple would do, Harry. Aren't we suppose to just be friends"

He let out a loud sigh. His eyebrows were furrowed and began to focus more on driving than anything else. He was deep in thought and I hoped that I didn't offend him.

"Your right", he said in a low voice, "I just wanted to ask and I wanted to spend the holiday with you. I always feel so alone on Christmas, Niall always had someone over, my parents had each other, my sister with her boyfriend. Just hoped this year could be different."

The confession broke my heart a bit. I had pretty much told him my answer and was going to stick by that but he had broke my heart so much now I was unsure. I know he wasn't trying to make me feel bad but it did. Him and I could still go as friends and it wouldn't be an issue for either of us. I was going to think on it now. If I could do anything to make him happy I probably would.

"I'm sorry I asked", he said pulling up to my parent's house, " I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, I just figured it was worth a shot to ask."

"Don't apologize, and you aren't making me uncomfortable. It is always worth a shot to ask", I tried my best to comfort him placing my hand on his shoulder and rubbing my hand over it.

"Okay", was all he said and we both sat in silence for a moment.

"I will think about it, Harry. I really will", I told him," And it would be just as friends if I did say yes."

"Of course just as friends", he said with a smile and I leaned over the middle console to place a kiss on Harry's cheek and walked back up to the house with a smile on my face. I was happy to make him happy if I could.

When I walked into my home, I was surprised and oddly nervous to see my dad sitting on the couch. I had no idea that he was going to be home any time soon. I looked at him in a new light now that I knew he was cheating on my mother. My whole childhood I had the image of an amazing father and man in my mind and to see that all taken away was a lot to handle. It was like the death of my childhood knowing he wasn't the person I thought he was.

"Daisy", he exclaimed, getting up off the couch was he noticed it was me and taking me in for a hug. I smiled and hugged him back.

I knew that for my mothers sake I couldn't act like I knew anything about his affair.

"How are you hanging in there?"

"I'm alright, could be better but could be worse. You?"

"I'm good. Happy for the holidays."

We began to small talk and rather than pay attention to my father, I watched my mom's every move in the kitchen as she cleaned. It seemed like she had wiped everything down at least a million times and I knew she was eavesdropping onto our conversation. Dad and I talked about casual things, like school, finding a job, and all that had happened with Niall but it bored me. It was hard to hold a conversation with him now more than ever.

"You seem out of it, Daisy."

"I am", I admitted, "Just really tired is all. I've been really emotional recently."

"You have every right to be. My heart is truly breaking for you", I wanted to roll my eyes so badly at him but I smiled instead. He was not the person to be talking about faithfulness considering all that was going on with my mom.

"I'm going to go take a nap", I said getting up off the couch and going into the kitchen to hug my mom. I felt for her now more than ever after seeing my dad. Knowing the reason that he was acting so happy wasn't because of her killed me.

I laid in bed and it was all I could think about. The only thing on my mind was my parent's relationship. They used to be so happy together and I believed in their happiness. I believe that two people could meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after. These were the two people I looked to when I thought of a picture perfect relationship. Now, I wasn't so sure about that. I was barely grown up myself, I knew nothing about love and maintaining a relationship like they did but I had faced a heartbreak similar to my mother's when she realized he was cheating.

Niall had broken my heart at a time where I believed in a forever love. I had grown up with him and I was convinced that he was going to be the one person for me for the rest of my life. Discovering his cheating and discovering my dad's cheating was giving me a different outlook on everything. It made me feel hopeless, like I was never going to find the love I envisioned and that killed me.