Tainted Redemption

Chapter one

Song for the chapter: Katy Perry - Thinking of you

*when Zayn thinks her he means Olivia, just so we're clear here. Oh and what a nice surprise I got to write this earlier bc I wanted to surprise you (also bc of cancelled travel plans)

//

Zayn's POV

There's obnoxious knocks coming from the door, before Louis barged in and nearly choked on his fucking breath.

He waves his hand before him, coughing from the thick smokey atmosphere I've created. I hollow my cheeks and inhale on my spliff, letting it fill my lungs, then exhale it from my nose and mouth slowly, contentedly.

"Dude, seriously?" Louis muttered, rolling his eyes, then throws me a pathetic glare, "I thought you stopped taking-"

"It was the heavy stuff I wanted to be done with. But old habits die hard," I lowly explained, blinking because everything appeared twice and shapes were creating on his face, then laughed at the way my voice sounded, clutching my stomach since it feels weird as fuck. I was high as a kite, enjoying it to the last bits.

He casts a dismissing stare my way then eyes the dirty room, "We're back home for about two months now..you still don't tell us what to do?" he bemused, squinting his eyes, "We can do anything. We're save since we've got immunity-"

Narrowing my eyes, "Shut your fucking mouth!!" I snapped jumping forward, my hands grasping the armrests feeling enraged, my shoulders tensed quickly, his eyebrows go up.

It's four long months without her.

The minute I stepped foot back in London everything got back to me. It's like a black cloud is looming over my head, making me depressing as fuck. I wasn't working, I wasn't sleeping right, nothing made sense.

Rolling his eyes, "Aight' rude ass bitch, just tell me what to do for today," he countered easily, leisurely slumping his shoulder and pushing his hands in his pockets, inspecting my face, "Someones obviously got to do some work, but since your skinny ass is not in the right shape, it's me who has to do it..." he sarcastically mumbled, tired of my bullshit, then he sighed staring at me with pity, "I understand everything.. besides your bleached hair." he mocked, I flip him the bird, "But you should reconsider the way you're-"

"I don't need your pity. I'm fine this way," I cut him off to get him off my dick, lowering my eyes and tossing the finished joint on an ashtray which was overlapping with many others.

I calmly tell him what needs to be done, then ignore his presence until he leaves.

Liam would have never encouraged me to do something I wasn't ready, to not force myself into work... I wonder what he's up to, I admit I was always seconds away from calling his phone, but I never do.

+

My stomach's growling loudly, I haven't had something proper to eat for weeks now. My office has become like my hiding place, a proper man cave just how men like it. Then there's another knock on my door, before it creaks open.

"Louis I already told you-" I stop once I see Harry, "What?" I asked tiredly, my eyelids drop as I out stretched my neck so I was leaning back on my seat. I was so fucking exhausted when all I've been doing was chill.

"We're going out. It's new year's tonight."

As if I give a fuck. Before I can give him a witty come back he's already talking again, "At least come out and get properly drunk, not here like some loner." he told me nonchalantly, completely shit at giving advices since he doesn't understand it.