Tainted Redemption

Chapter two

Song for the chapter: Tove lo - Stay high

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Zayn's POV

Punch after punch, my arms swing repeatedly and hit the punching bag furiously as its thuds sound loudly from my fist punches, breathing out in shorts spurts, and I jump around, alternating from one foot to the other while I dance around. The sweat created on my forehead drips down my heated face face slowly while I'm glaring.

I've begun to work out more, I'm kinda like addicted to the endorphines I get from this.

It's either this or get high. But from the lack of healthy nutrition I have to change my routine a bit.

.....

Once I was done beating the punching bag to a pulp, until my knuckles broke and bled, I took a long shower.

Later I'm in my living room for a change, shirtless and only in a pair of boxers, drinking some scotch to relax. With a deep sigh I try to find something to do, picking up the gun on the coffee table on my side. I started cleaning some of my guns but got bored quickly. It usually did the trick to distract me from thinking. Not anymore. Sighing out, I put the gun back on the table, letting my hands plumpet to my thighs. I have yet to properly check my new mansion yet. I've brought all my stuffs from the old house I had here in London. It feels empty, like it always used to, I just now noticed.

....

I've just lit a joint after eating a self made sandwich, when the door bell rings. I'm contemplatingif it's worth it to stand up from my comfortable position. Then decide against it, slumping myself in the soft couch. I'm slacking and getting too lazy but it's like what is the fuckïng purpose on doing anything? I've become a pathetic excuse of a human and I accept it.

The obnoxious rings stop and someone comes through the door. It's Niall.

"The door is not safe, anyone could come and harm you easily." he scolds as he walks further in. He's carrying a file.

I don't bother to explain myself, it shouldn't be anyone's fuckïng business.

He frowns when I keep hollowing my cheeks around the spliff, I know my eyes are red because they feel teary, and I feel the tingling in my body from floating high...

"I have her information and other stuffs in this file, I took it unknowingly from Louis-"

I listen closely sitting up, "Why didn't you tell me this immediately?" I manage to say slower than usual. He just hands me the file, nervously staring at me.

"You won't uhm...you wouldn't do something stupid like... see her?" he questioned frowning at me, I rolled my eyes, "I only got you this so you can move on," he continued.

"That's what I said, didn't I?" I counter, throwing a sharp stare his way, "I will not drag her back in my life." I mutter defiantly, though the weight on my chest wants something else...

"Good." He nodded and kept me updated on what goes on with the mafia, usual check ups. From what he says things have never been better. But with what prize? I lied and captured a young woman and destroyed her life to make mine easier... I should've tried harder to find a different solution. She was worth it. But I was and am a fûck up. Now it's too late.

......

My head is in my hands as I rest my elbows on my knees. I shouldn't touch that file. I dug on the emotional scar in me when I see what she's up to.

When will it stop? I don't want for her to have a hold of me like this.

She's good. From what I can see she's doing good. Her life has picked up from where I brutally forced her away. It's relieving to know this but that means my hope is crushed. I don't know what the fuck there was left to hope. But love does crazy things like that. And I love her vigorously. I wanted to be her first and for her to be my last.