Tainted Redemption

Chapter nine

*a.n/ Okay so I'll have to go on a rant here bc of the characters. I will not write a boring, perfect or flawless character. I want my characters to experience wrong decisions and sometimes be childish even, bc how else are the characters to grow if they are the way you want them to be, which is literally never crying or never thinking that what they are doing is justified. And which human doesn't do that? Especially girls. Because if I remember well, whether you like it or not, admit it or not, most girls do cry a lot, most girls do question everything, most girls complicate stuffs for themselves, hurt themselves and others by wanting to be right, are stubborn, cry themselves to sleep, don't feel good enough, feel guilty after doing things that boys would do or did to them. And I'm about to go deep here when it's probably not that serious, if some girl had to go through what Liv did and not end up insane, they woud be acting the same ways if not worse. Also I hate stories where girls are portrayed strong when they don't cry or don't act stubborn or are encouraged to belittle other females for being weak, slutty or whatever and that bullying makes them apparently strong female traits! No, kids, that's misogyny. I should know because I'm an adult. And no I will never write those kind of characters. It doesn't mean my female characters will all be crying non stop, but they still do it more often than expected. You have the right on your opinion, yes, but if you think you can write something better, please do. Also you can always stop reading. It's a fanfic in the end, and there's tons of others here. I'm saying this bc of the constant digging on Olivia's behaviour. But have you seen how wrong Zayn can be too? He never takes no for an answer, doesn't leave her space, treats her sometimes so bad, expects from Liv to always forgive him but if she dares to do something wrong he loses his shït, calls her names and doesn't respect Olivia's reponses and decisions which makes her take other wrong decisions in the first place. Even if he has come a long way, and this isn't neccessarily about him, please look at both characters with the same critisizing view. I didn't want to address this but it's not the first book I'm getting comments on my female characters and how annoying they can be, when they're literally only being girls. I shouldn't have to explain this but it really is a jab on me as a mediocre writer who loses motivation several times while writing a chapter and I'm always so close to discontinue my stories when I've barely started them. (I don't even want to start on people giving me shït about gramatical errors. Do you wanna know how and from where I learned English from? It was from songs firstly because when I was a kid internet wasn't popular here where I live, and it's my third language, I can speak five foreign languages in general, some fluent some not, and understand another one. So yeah, soz for sometimes using words that you think dont exist or look wrong and weird but I probably only switched them accidently or forgot them and am too lazy to look it up, sometime they're typos.)

M'kay, I think that was it.

Happy reading, enjoy.

***

Olivia's POV

A gentle push on my shoulder wakes me up from my sleep, my eyelids strained as I feel fingers brushing on my burning forehead. I felt sweaty and my throat was very dry but I was shivering badly too.

A night spent crying and reminiscing about everything surely wasn't good...and I've drifted off without a cover on me, the room is cold since I hadn't turned on the heat, to wake up to feeling like utter shït to an empty bed - bench this time - and a splitting headache.

"Mum?" I whisper barely, focusing on her concered stare and lowered sapphire eyes, she's already on her nurse clothes, "I have classes." I groan a bit when I remembered, grimacing at the pounding of my head but am trying to stand up which I don't achieve, laying back, not feeling my exhausted limbs.

She immediately shakes her head, touching my forehead is crouched next to me, "You're not going anywhere like this, Olivia." she stalks to my bed, picks up a blanket then puts it over me, "I'll tell the doctors why you can't get there," she murmurs sternly when she sees my reluctance. I don't bother arguing against her as it was futile and I was aware that I couldn't do anything productive while I'm sick and feeling like I was trampled by elephants, so I nod weakly. "Why are you here and not on your bed? And why are your eyes red?" she inquistively asked as she helped me get comfortable on the bench by laying a pillow behind me. "Is it because of-"