Lost in Dallas [COMPLETED]

30.

CAMERON

''Last call flight 4563 to Indiana'', i hear over the hooter. I sigh, looking behind as if waiting to someone stop me from leaving.

The fact i was waiting for her to run towards me and hug me and tell me she loves me made feel so ridiculous; she wasn't going to come, i was so damn sure. I was so fucking sure of it yet i was waiting and waiting and waiting. I couldn't stop looking over my shoulder to see if she's coming. I had hope, so much hope to see her bright smile while she runs towards me and i catch her in my arms. I had hope she changed her mind, that she chose me over him.

I grabbed my phone and look for her name in my contacts. I want to call her, i want to hear her voice, i want her to But what the fuck i'm thinking? She made clear she doesn't want me near her, she doesn't want anything do to with me, she hates me and loves him. It's over. Why i keep pushing something that i know it won't fucking happen?

I sigh, looking over my shoulder on more time with a glance of hope traveling my eyes. I look and there's no sign of her.

''Last call flight 4563 to Indiana'', i hear once again over the hooter and i sigh.

Walking towards the entrance i give the man my ticket and my passport, he checks and nods as a signal can keep walking.

Again, i look over my shoulder with the last glance of hope in my heart that she'd come running after me because she doesn't wanna let me go. But there's no one there, no one. I look around but i don't see any familiar faces. The man pats my shoulder, letting me know there's more people behind me waiting to get into the airplane as well. I nod and i grab my carry-on, proceeding to the airplane.

Already here, a blond lady grabs my ticket and mumbles a 'follow me' so she can walk me to my seat.

''Here it is, A17. Let me know if you need anything. Oh! I can have that'', she says pointing at my carry-on. I nod as she take it and sit on my seat.

I bought first class and next to the window, of course. I always do, honestly. It's quiet and the seats are ten times more comfortable than the regular ones. Also i liked the view very much. Right now all i needed was to put my headphones in and let the world out. All i needed right now is to close my eyes and sleep; forget about her and all the shit that happened the past 72 hours. Also forget the fact she fucking picked him instead of me. The fact she doesn't love me but him. The fact she's not longer mine. I need to fucking forget all that shit. And funny, how i've been trying to get mad at her since the day she left Jack's room and walked away from me but i couldn't get mad at her. I can't. It doesn't matter how much i try, i just can't be mad at her at all.

As they were closing the airplane gates and the airplane started to move, i looked over the window. My eyes landed on the sky of California. The sky was cloud, deep steel blue-grays. The movement of the clouds was barely perceptible and even the birds wheeled in slow lazy arcs.The sky was low and dark, as a representation of my soul right now. It was an endless canvas of colors that are tossed upon. It's like he was trying to say something to me, something deep. He was trying to make me understand, probably. Trying to make me understand that probably she was made for me to love her but not to be with her even though that's all i wanted. I guess he was trying to make me understand that some things happen for a reason and it doesn't matter how much you try, how much you want something, how much you crave something, things will get their own path; just like our lives. Maybe this was it, maybe it wasn't. All i know is that she took a decision that probably wasn't easy for her but it was the one who could make her the happiest.

And here i am, rambling in my mind of how bitchy of hr was leaving me like that without even giving me a damn chance of explain. She just jumped into dumb ass conclusions that, if she was smart enough, she'd know there's a lot of holes in that story but no, she didn't. She didn't knew. She didn't even took the time to analyze all the shit Molly - or Chris - told her. She just jumped into conclusions and exploited in front of me, giving a chance to explain. Maybe she was looking in her mind to 3456765 reasons to hate me and she couldn't find one, yet when she heard what Molly had to tell her she assumed the worst. She didn't even ask me about it, she just started seeing me as an enemy, as an horrible human being and it didn't matter how many times i tried to explain, she wouldn't even give me the chance to. She wouldn't even give me the chance to open my mouth and talk about it. No. She made her decision. She made her fucking mind and in her mind it wasn't space for me, it wasn't at all. Maybe it was for the best. I had Kayla though. That even that we weren't in a relationship she was always there for me. She knows someone fucked up my heart pretty bad and thats why i don't want any relationship again - not one if it's not with her - and she respects my decision. She hasn't forced me to have a relationship with her, in fact, when people ask her what are we she just says ''friends who fuck'' and i laugh because that's what it is. But i uno girls pretty well, she's getting sightly attached even though she doesn't see it. I do. I see it. I see it because she's acting the exact same way i started acting towards Adrianna and look what happened. She wrecked my heart and my whole life. And even so, i went back to her when i told myself 4567654345 times i wouldn't get back to her. But i did. And i don't regret it a little bit. I wish i did, it'd be hella easier for me but i don't. I missed her. I missed her lips, her touch, her smile. I missed how she gets a silly mad when i stop playing with her hair and how she hums when i do it. I missed the heat of her body. I missed, everything.