Lost in Dallas [COMPLETED]

26.

November 4th, 2015 - Chris came back to L.A. today, after 2 years being on his missionary service in Peru. I'm happy.

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CAMERON

''Can you take me out of here?'', she whispered in my ear. Her words filled my heart with hope and happiness but it wasn't okay. This is her father's funeral. She couldn't just leave because of me.

''It's your dad's funeral Ade, we can't just leave. Let's wait until it's over and then we'll talk. I promise'', i said breaking our hug slowly.

She nods and before leaving to the podium, she hugs me again, kisses my cheek and says ''thank you'' in my ear.

I just nodded. It was a cold motion. Robotic, almost.

My body is shaking. The warmth of her lips brushed my cheek made me feel those cheesy butterflies in my stomach as people say in movies.

My chest started to hurt. I couldn't breath properly. I feel like fainting when two arms grabbed my shoulders and said ''got you brother''.

Nash.

I nodded and walked with him so i could seat.

When i finally sat in the bench, i held my head with my hands and let the tears out while the guilt flood my mind.

''Hey, it's okay'', a female voice whispered.

I raised my bed to see Ade's mom smiling softly next to me.

She looked at me with her eyes filled of love and forgiveness. Thing that made feel way like the piece of shit i am. How can this woman look at me after what i did to her daughter? After i ran away like a coward?

Those simple words touched my heard. Touched a wound i thought it was closed by now but it wasn't. I couldn't help to broke down in tears again and hug her.

I hugged her without even asking for permission. I hugged her desperately, broken, needing forgiveness. She hugged me really tight as well. Her hug was tight yet soft. Her hands moved back and forth in my back and the storm in my chest slowly started fading away.

''I'm so sorry for leaving'', i said. It was more like a whisper. I can't pronounce a word. I'm too broken. I don't know what she has been through since i left but it seems like she lived hell. No wonder. She must hate me.

''You don't have to say sorry, it's okay honey'', she said in her most maternal way.

The desolation i felt was consuming. My mind became a an icy wasteland. I knew i'm alive but my heart stopped beating.

A tap in my shoulder made me break the hug with Adrianna's mom to turn around.

Here she was, standing up looking straight into my eyes, into my soul. I love and hate the fact that she can look at me like that. I feel naked and insecure when she looks at me because probably she's the only person who knows what's inside me.

"Let's go home", her mom says looking at me and then at Ade.

They all stood up but i couldn't move. It was like i wanted to stood up too but my legs weren't responding and it was probably because they knew i wasn't welcome there.

Shit.

I should've stayed in Indiana. Taylor told me it was a bad idea and it seems he was right.

Fuck.

What the hell am i doing here?

I should go in the first plane to Indiana tomorrow.

Negative thoughts filled my mind but her sweet voice distracted me.