Repression ▶ M•C ▶ 2/3

Chapter 23

Georgie's POV

I got back into my car and sat still. That was it, my best friend was the first to leave, just eleven days until my birthday and I feel like things aren't going to go as well as it first seemed. I wanted Gwyneth to be there when I open my eyes with everyone else, on the morning of my birthday, with presents and cards, but she's not. But I can't blame her, she's just found out that she can't have children, she won't be able to have the life she wanted and she wants to be in the comfort of her family, which is more than I could ever offer her. I didn't know what to do now, I was so certain that I was going to get my friends back and try and live a normal life, but I'm starting to think that they'll never accept me for I am now, I don't feel like they want me as who I am now, and that they always hoped I would come back to them as the girl they used to know. I felt angry because this was my life now. I'm constantly torn between the two lives I have lived, and I still don't know who I am.

I finally started the engine and pulled away from the airport. I was drained; another emotional day and all I wanted to do was watch a film on the sofa with Michael. He and I were in a good place at the moment, I didn't want to spoil that because Gwyn had left. I know those four boys are distend to do something incredible, and I don't want to waste a single second before it's too late. This was the time in my life where I can do what I want, before I have to grow up leave my childhood behind, one day I'll get a job, buy a house and get a family, so I need to cherish these days before I become old and live a boring life. I still want to go travelling, meet all different kinds of people and become a better person; life is so, much more than England and its cold weather. I want to feel the blazing heat on my skin, warm air blowing through my hair, burning sand in between my toes and the smell of the ocean everywhere I go. It's the complete opposite her, dark cloudy skies, chilling temperatures and grey scenery.

I wanted to change, I needed to somehow stand out from the dreary black and grey that was the town around me, and I knew exactly how I would do that. Before going back home, I pulled into the car park of one of the small pharmacy stores outside the centre of down, getting out and walking through the automatic door. The florescent lights were blinding, but showed clearly the different isles with various products on them. There were only a handful of people in here, and I felt intimidated as the cashier turned to look at me disapprovingly as I entered. I figured out which isle I needed and walked to the corner of the shop, the hair dye section. There were so many colours to choose from, blonde, brunette, ginger, green, blue, orange and there it was, purple. I stared at the packet; the colour looked like the purple of my hair after the accident, just a little paler from being worn out. I went for it, picking up the box of dye and walking over to the checkout at the front. I placed it down on the counter and watched as the woman looked me up and down judgementally. This woman doesn't have the right to look at me in that way, who the fuck cares about the colour I dye my hair, why would I care about her petty opinion anyway. I gave her a glare as she scanned it, pulling out a ten pound note and keeping it in my hand.

"That'll be £8.99 please" She said bluntly, rolling her eyes and turning to the cash register. I tossed the note and it landed on the counter gently. "Keep the change. Maybe it can go towards getting your roots done" I spat, snatching the packet from her and storming out. I smirked to myself, and I turned and saw her mouth hung open, stupid bitch. I'm not going to let people get to me anymore; the only person that is allowed to care about what I look like is myself. I walked across the car park and got into my car, putting the dye on the passenger seat and stating the engine again. I wanted to go back to purple, I wanted to see the look on Michael's face when he first sees it, and I want him to feel like I'm still the girl he met almost a year ago. I don't have to be torn between my two lives if I bring them both together.

I pulled into the driveway and turned off my engine a few minutes later. What would be happening when I open the door? Was I too scared to find out? I picked up the hair dye and got out my car walking along the gravel and stepping up to the front door before unlocking it. When it opened, the house was silent, which didn't make me feel much better. I walked to the kitchen and saw Ashton eating a slice of toast. "Hey" He smiled, munching loudly. I laughed a little and said hey back. Then I realised, Ash and Calum had been out all day, which meant he had read the letter, oh god. "Where's Calum?" I panicked. "He went to go have a shower ages ago" He shrugged. I threw my hair dye and keys on the counter and sprinted through the hallway, up the stairs and along the corridor to Gwyneth's room which was opposite mine. I had to stop and catch my breath before entering, before finally twisting the door handle and walking inside. He was sat on the bed, with the letter in his hand. When he looked up to see who it was, his eyes were red and puffy, his lip quivering a bit. "Cal" I sighed, rushing over to him and sitting next to him, putting my arm around him and rubbing his arm.

"I can't believe she could do this to me" He cried, leaning against my neck. "I don't care about any of this stuff, I love her no matter what" He added, throwing the letter away from him and it landed on the floor. I nodded and continued to comfort him. "I know" I soothed. The door opened again and we both looked up. Luke walked in and stared confusingly at us. I gestured to the paper on the floor and he went over to it and picked it up. I didn't take long for him to read it, looking us and sighing, sitting on the other side of him and putting his arm around his shoulder like I had. I took my hand off him and took that as a sign to go, so I got up and walked away, shutting the door behind me and walking back downstairs. No one was in the kitchen when I entered, and I stopped to look at the purple hair dye lying on the counter in front of me. I took a deep breath before picking it up and walking across the hallway to the small bathroom opposite the living room entrance. I shut the door quietly and locked it after me.

An hour later, I unlocked the door and checked to see if anyone was walking around. The coast was clear, so I hurried up the stairs, shutting myself in my bed room and getting out the hairdryer. Once dried, I stood up and walked over to the mirror, staring in amazement at the bright purple hair now flowing down my shoulders. I didn't recognise myself, and that made me very happy. I heard the door open and Michael walked straight past me, his eyes looking down at his phone screen. He leant down and plugged his phone in, before looking up and his eyes opened wide with surprise. "Oh my god" He gasped, walking over and running his fingers through it. "Do you like it?" I smirked. He nodded aggressively and hugged me tightly. "I love you, so, so much" He cooed into my hair. I grinned and hugged him back, rocking him back and forth slightly. "I love you too" I whispered.