Repression ▶ M•C ▶ 2/3

Chapter 40

I opened the door and snuck out, back into the dark and empty hallway. I had no idea where I was going to sleep and the fact that the sun was coming up didn't give me that much time before I would have to wake up again. I crossed the corridor and clung onto the second staircase. I pulled myself up the stairs and it was even darker up there than on the first floor. I got to the top and shuffled to the door large doors at the end of the corridor, leading out onto the balcony. I pushed them opened and stepped out into the cold air. "Hey" I was startled and shot around to see Ashton leaning against the railing. Why did everyone come here? I've never told anyone about this place yet every time I've come up here there's always someone who got here before me. "Hey, where did you disappear to last night?" I tried to see if he knew about Karen yet, if he didn't I guess it would have to be me to tell him the bad news. "I had a fight with Gracie so I went for a walk" He yawned. "And then Gwyn told me about Karen" He added, looking over at me with a disappointed look. I looked at the floor and came and stood next to him. "Ash" I sighed.

"She was like family to me. How would you be feeling if Gwyn's mum suddenly died and you were on the other side of the world?" He said bitterly. I hesitated and tried to stop thinking about the situation I would be in. "I would be distraught" I said honestly. It finally dawned on me exactly how the boys were feeling; they had lost someone more important that any of us. "Exactly" He rolled his eyes. "Why aren't we friends anymore Ash? Before my accident we were supposed to be best friends, now you speak to me like you hate me. What did I do?" I pleaded, putting my hand on his. He looked away in disgust and quickly pulled his hand away. "You'll never understand" He mumbled. "Why?" I raised my voice. "Because you're not the same person you were before. You look the same and act the same, but to me you're never going to be that same girl I met a year ago" He yelled back, shoving past me and going back inside. I put both arms on the railings and put my face in my hands. Why was everything going wrong? This whole night had turned into a disaster and I wasn't sure how I was going to cope anymore.

"George" Several minutes later there was a voice coming from behind me. I turned around and Michael stood in the doorway, my blue blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He looked ashamed, but smiled weakly and made his way over to me. He took the blanket off him and put it around me, leaving his hand on my shoulder. "I love you too" He whispered, pulling me closer to him. I turned to face him and broke down in tears. I was both pleased that he was talking to me again but also upset because I could see him in so much pain and I couldn't help him. He pulled me into his chest and stroked my back as I clung onto him tightly. "Whatever happens, I am always going to love you with all my heart and I know that if I'm with you, then I'll be happy" He kissed my forehead gently. "God I am so in love with you" I looked up into his eyes and he was smiling back at me. "And that is why I'll be sat right beside you on the plane as well" I added, lifting my hand up to his check and stoking his skin with my thumb. "Thank god, I wasn't sure if I would be able to do any of this without you" He turned me back around to face the view, holding me in his chest. "You are never going to have to be without me" I played with his fingers and watched the sunrise.

"When do you think we should start to clean up?" I glanced up at him, barely being able to keep my eyes open. He shrugged and rested his chin on the top of my head. "I think we should go to bed first, plus its freezing out here" He tugged on my blanket. I nodded and we walked back inside. "I heard what Ashton said to you, just ignore him" He soothed, as we moved slowly towards the staircase. "I don't understand what I did to make him hate me like this" I frowned. "Trust me, this hasn't got anything to do with you, he's just jealous" He scoffed. "Of what?" I asked. He hesitated as we came to the bottom of the stairs. "Nothing" He shook his head and pulled me closer. We shuffled along the corridor and up to the bedroom door at the end. I was expecting it to still be a mess, and I would have to look at the broken pieces of crockery all over the carpet. But when Michael opened the bedroom door, it was tidy. All the things that had been broken had been swept up neatly, everything else was put back into its normal place, making it seem like nothing had happened. I let out a sigh of relief and wandered over to the bed, collapsing down and curling up inside the duvet. I felt like there was a huge knot tying up inside my stomach, I felt sick and it wouldn't go away. Maybe this was just the calm before the storm, I have no idea what's going to happen when we leave tomorrow, and things could be much different. A part of me wants stay positive and hope for the best, but then I'm more concerned that this is going to be then end of Michael and I's story. There would be no happy ending.