Repression ▶ M•C ▶ 2/3

Chapter 41

Harriet's POV

"Morning" I gave a sympathetic smile in Calum's direction as I stirred sugar into my large cup of coffee. I then watched it swirl round in a circular motion with just a turn of a spoon. I couldn't wait to go back to mine and Luke's apartment; I much prefer the coffee we have over there rather than this decaf shit. Who even buys coffee if they don't want it to give you energy, that's the whole purpose of the product, they don't put caffeine in it for fun. Plus these mugs all looked the same; they were just a dull plain white colour, why not have something creative on a cup like we do? Also this sugar isn't real sugar, its low fat sweeteners, which just isn't the same. I think I would rather get dressed and leave the house, just to go out and buy overpriced coffee from a coffee shop than drink this.

"You okay?" I looked up confusingly when Calum spoke. I had gotten so carried away with my thoughts that I had lost all sense of the environment around me. "Yeah I'm fine" I put on a smile and took the spoon out of the mug and holding it with both hands. "You sure? You seem a bit out of it today" He raised his eyebrows. I nodded my head and let out a laugh. "I'm fine I swear, just a bit tired" I assured him, exiting the kitchen as quickly as I could. He didn't have time to reply as I was already out the door and walking up the stair case. The house was a mess; I had never seen a place so torn apart after a party. God knows how Georgie's parents aren't going to notice when they come home. I continued to hold the hot cup of coffee as I got to the first floor and turned to the first door on the corridor of bedrooms. I heard Michael and Georgie walking around earlier this morning, I wouldn't be surprised if they had gone to sleep, they both must be exhausted and they need their rest for the flight. I twisted the door handle and entered the bedroom, looking over to the mess of white bed sheets scrunched up on the mattress. All four walls were painted pale brown, with a door leading onto the bathroom opposite where I stood. I placed the cup onto the large chest of drawers and stood by the mirror. I took the hairband around my wrist off and scooped up the shabby strands of blonde hair up into a bun and tied it neatly into place. Behind the bathroom door was the noise of the shower, the water hitting against the plastic bottom quickly. Luke hasn't spoken to me since last night; I could tell he was avoiding the subject of Karen. He will bottle his feeling up and act like everything is fine, but I know him, he normally tells me everything. However whenever I try to bring it up he gets shy and either changes the subject or leaves the room. I was trying, and he wasn't and that made it so much harder to keep the bond we had.

The noise from the shower stopped and I hurried to try and act like I wasn't just standing listening to him wash. I sat down on the bed and picked up one of the magazines I had stolen from downstairs. The door opened and Luke scuffed over with a towel wrapped around his waist. I looked up and smiled sweetly, closing the magazine and putting it down beside me. "I made you some coffee, though you might want some" I glanced down the mug then back to him. He sighed and ran his fingers through his wet hair, before picking up a shirt from the floor and pulling it over his shoulders. I stood up and looking him in the eye. "Are you going to drink it?" I tried to cover up the fact that I was slightly offended. He rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Not really" He mumbled. I gritted my teeth and shook my head. "Fine" I grabbed hold of the cup and held it in my hands. I thought long and hard about throwing it over his head, scolding his torso and neck. But I knew it would be wrong, he didn't deserve it and I was just over reacting. I slowly turned and put the cup back on the side, looking down and not making eye contact anymore. I put my head in my hands and fell to the floor in tears. "I can't do this anymore" I cried. I kept my eyes closed and felt him sit down beside me. "I'm sorry okay, I'll drink the coffee the next time" I could feel him smirking. I should be mad at him but I could never stay angry at Luke for more than five minutes. I looked up and rested my head against his damp shoulders. "Don't be afraid to talk to me, I'm here for a reason" I kissed his cheek. He grabbed my waist and pulled me down onto the floor. "We'll all be dead one day, and I'm sure there will be people that will cry and grieve over us, so I don't want to waste my time being sad for someone who would never wanted to see me like that"

"Can we please not talk about your death, it's not even noon" I pouted, moving stands of damp hair off his face. He laughed and sat up, still keeping my head on his lap. "Fine, but can we please not talk about Karen, not until I'm ready" He looked down and played with my hair. "Of course" I smiled, pushing myself up and wrapping my arms around his neck, bringing his face down to my and pressing my lips onto his. "I love you" I whispered, looking into his bright blue eyes. "I love you too" He pulled away and looked around the messy room. "We should start cleaning up and pack all our things away" He sighed, pushing me off him and getting to his feet. "I can't wait to go back to our cosy apartment" I cooed, jumping on the unmade bed and being consumed by the duvet. "Me too, England's beginning to get a bit too cold for me" He scoffed, pulling on a pair of jeans. I saw the smile on his face when he turned his head in my direction, the scruffy patches of stubble on his chin and jaw from not shaving in a few days, his hair was getting longer, becoming messier and slightly curlier. The thin black ring through his lip was still there, just like it had been on the day we first met. To this day there has never been anyone else on this entire planet that I have loved more than the boy standing in front of me. I truly believe that I have found the person I want to be with when I'm old and shrivelled. There was a different kind of atmosphere when Luke was around, neither good nor bad. He is exactly who he wants to be, he has life figured out when most of us here have no idea what to do tomorrow. I could never my life without him, and when I think about the years leading up to the day we would first meet, how empty my life seemed before he came crashing into it. I guess this is what love is, being completely dependent on a person who can make you feel like everything is perfect, but then in an instant can also be the person to tear you entire world apart.