Repression ▶ M•C ▶ 2/3

Chapter 77

                  
Michael's POV

"Well that lasted long" Ashton scoffed, as I stood out in the hallway looking blankly at the front door. When I turned my head he was leaned against the living room doorframe, a small smirk on his lips and his arms crossed around his chest. "Can you not get involved in my relationship, for once" I spat, walking away from him and towards the stair case. To be honest, I hated being back here, it made my stomach churn and hands shake. It was like being nineteen again, when I had absolutely nothing apart from the girl I was in love with, and I managed to fuck that up as well.

I climbed the carpeted stairs and knocked lightly on Georgie's bedroom door. What was I going to say? She thinks she's being pathetic by giving me chances and I'm basically asking for another one. Maybe it was true, we couldn't just be friends, but that doesn't mean I don't want to have her in my life, I love her.
After a long pause and no one was answering the door, I knocked again, harder this time. When there was still no answer, I twisted the handle and pushed open the door. The room was empty; and I felt a slight twinge of anxiety spread through my body. I turned back to the hallway, frantically opening every other door on the floor. I raced up the second staircase, but stopped almost the second I saw the balcony doors wide open on the other side of the room. I treaded carefully along the floor, trying to see her from through the doorway.

I reached the opening and noticed the brown haired girl leaning against the railing, looking down at the garden below. Oh how time has changed, this once exciting girl that would radiate happiness and positively, was now quiet, I could only feel like it was all my fault. Perhaps she really was better off without me; her life could have been so much better if I had taken a different way home three years ago. I hesitated and thought about whether I should just walk away, leave her in peace and never come back, but there were still things I wanted to tell her before we went our separate ways.
I stepped out onto the decked balcony and leaned against the railing beside her, our elbows brushing each other's slightly. She lifted her head in surprise but once she noticed it was me she frowned and looked back over at the view. I sighed and finally decided say something.
"Do you regret meeting me? Like, do you think you would have been happier if I had never been a part of your life?" I broke the silence but she didn't react. "I think I might have achieved more, if you weren't in my life I would have gotten a degree and finished university like every other normal person, got a job and moved into an apartment with Gwyn and might have had a chance of being happy. But then, if I hadn't of met you I wouldn't have fallen in love, I wouldn't have experience of what being part of a close group of friends was like and I might never of become the person I am today. But all the good things over-weigh the bad, even though I can never forgive you for everything that happened I would never not want to know you. You're Michael Clifford; millions of girls all over the world would kill to know you, so in that sense, I guess I'm kind of lucky" She looked over for a brief second and smiled weakly, placing her hand on mine as they hung off the railing. Her soft skin sent shivers up my arms, making the hair on them stand on edge.

"I am so, so sorry for everything I did to you, maybe one day you will be able to forgive me. I sometimes wish that I hadn't of met you so you could live such a happier life, you always deserved better and I let you down in so many ways" I cried. She seemed alarmed and was quick to comfort me. She pulled herself closer and rested her head on my shoulder rubbing my back soothingly and gripping my hand tighter. "Don't work yourself up over it, as much as we can fantasize about the past it won't change anything. This is all we have and right now, I am really glad you're here" She whispered against my shirt. I snaked my arm around her waist and was thankful I decided to stay out here. She didn't say anything else, and as the sky around us got dark she still hand her fingers between mine. I had some sort of hope, maybe even after everything that happens we could start again, or at the very least we could be proper friends again. She yawned and lifted her head off my shoulder. "It's going to get late soon and it's the funeral tomorrow, I should probably have an early night" She stepped away and took her hand out of my grip. "Of course, I'll see you before you leave in the morning" I smiled warmly. "Thank you for understanding; I feel if all my friends come it will take all the attention off my dad. Our group takes drama wherever we go" She laughed lightly, slouching towards the door and standing in the light of the hallway downstairs. I nodded and followed her inside, into the warm and cosy hallway. We walked together down the stairs and we both stopped outside her bedroom door and she paused. "Goodnight Michael" She smiled and pushed up on her feet to wrap her arms around my neck. I shut my eyes tightly and clung to her waist, praying she would never let go.

"Goodnight Georgie" I sighed, realising that this wasn't going to last and I decided to let her go. She turned away and opened her bedroom door. I averted my eyes and avoided looking inside a way too familiar room. I flashed a goodbye smile and she closed the door behind her, and I was left in the empty corridor. I picked a room, and also figured that it would be good to get as much sleep as possible, something tells me tomorrow is going to be eventful.