Repression ▶ M•C ▶ 2/3

Chapter 58

The house was quiet tonight. Normally we would all be doing something loud and fun; instead most people were sat around the tv, watching a film in silence in the living room. Gwyneth and Calum were huddled together on one of the sofas, her legs resting over his lap and his arm loosely snaked around her shoulder. Ashton and Gracie we sat on the floor next to them, Ash resting his head on Gracie's lap as she ran her fingers through his curly hair. Then there was me, sat on the other side of the room, on my own, worrying about my boyfriend who was yet to come home. Karen was in the kitchen, flicking through magazines whist sipping a glass of wine and listening to the radio. As for Luke, Harriet and Cat, they all lived together in a separate apartment, where I have no doubt they were doing the same thing as we were. I didn't want to think about Michael anymore, it was tiring and taking up all my energy, I wanted to go out. I tried to get up and leave without anyone noticing which was surprisingly easy and sat down on the bottom step of the stairs and took out my phone.

I dialled Cat's number and waited patiently for her to answer. "Hey Georgie, how are you" She sang cheerfully down the line. I smiled and instantly felt better. "I'm good, I wanted to know if you had any plans tonight, I could really use with talking to someone" I sighed, trying my best not to sound so depressing. "Yeah sure, we could go get some coffee, although my friend Brad with have to come too, I hope you don't mind" She sounded worried. "No that's fine, just as long as I'm not third-wheeling or anything" I smirked. She let out at laugh which echoed through the phone. "Oh don't worry about that he's got a boyfriend" She sounded very happy. "I'll pick you up in an hour" She added, still laughing off my comment. "Okay, thank you for this, I just really need to get out the house" I chuckled. She agreed and hung up soon after, leaving me with an hour to get change and wait for her to arrive. I pressed my phone up against my chin and smiled at the floor. It had felt like a very long time since I had gone out with anyone and I think I needed it more than ever. I felt like there was this huge clock behind me, counting down to the moment I am forced to leave everyone behind. I made a promise that I would leave the next time something happened and it was more likely than not that I had less than a day here to say my goodbyes. It would break every person's heart in this house if I left without saying goodbye but it would only make it ten times harder. I got up and walked up the stairs, going into my room and changing into some different clothes. I put on a clean shirt and brushed my hair, which improved my appearance significantly. I stood in front of the mirror and checked every inch of my face, seeing if it looked good enough to go outside in public. I have always been self-conscious of my appearance, everywhere I would go I would see a prettier girl than me, and feel jealous and hate myself more and more until it gets hard to stare at my face without crying. That why I don't think my relationship is that bad, this hasn't been the lowest I've felt, a long time ago I was crumbling apart without a reason. I had everything any girl would want; a big house, rich and powerful parents, popularity, it was handed to me on a silver platter yet I still felt empty. Michael made me feel full, like life was worth living, I'm afraid that if I leave, I'll be empty again.

Downstairs, the front door slammed shut, catching my attention. I ran out into the hallway and stood at the top of the stairs as Michael was storming up. "Are you alright?" I worried. I reached my hand out waiting for him to do something with it, but instead he knocked it out his way, pushing past me. "Hey" I raised my voice unintentionally. He spun round and locked his hands around my wrists. "What? What is it?" He breathed down onto my face. "I'll give you something to yell about" He lowered his voice and extended his arms out, suspending me over the stairs. I glanced down as my feet hovered above the top step of the staircase. If he let go I would fall, probably break and arm of leg, worst scenario I could hit my head and die but it was unlikely. Gwyneth came running out into the hallway and began to panic. "What the fuck, let her go!" She screamed. I stared back into the dark grey eyes in front of me. I was going to cry, I could feel the water well up inside me. Ashton was watching, I wouldn't be able to lie about this and he'd make me leave. He doesn't even realise what he's done yet, he's singlehandedly ended our relationship. "Michael" I whispered, quiet enough so he was the only one that could hear it. "Michael I'm going to give you two options in which you will have to choose from. Option one; if you really are as angry at me as you seem, I will not be upset if you push me down these stairs right now, possibly ended my life or maybe just twisting my ankle. However, if you do, whatever the outcome is, without hearing your explanation or saying a single word, I will gather my things and never return to this house. I will leave you and will never want to hear from you, talk to you or even see your face ever again" By now we had been staring straight at one another as everyone else was begging him to let me go from under us.

"Then there is option two; I secretly I made a promise to Ashton that I would leave you if you ever hurt me again. Seeing as you are threatening to push me down a flight of stairs you have left me no choice but to follow through on the agreement I made. What will happen is that you will let go of me carefully so I do not fall, and let me continue to get ready to go out with Cat. Once I have been out and come home, I with pack my things and quietly leave everyone's lives so I do not cause too much pain. Maybe in the future when you have managed to sort your life out we can be friends, you are always going to be a big part of my life and I will always care. I'm giving you the chance to make things right before I don't have a choice anymore. When I come home later we can sit down and talk about, hopefully save our relationship. But, if we don't I will still leave you and try to stay out of your life" I was now crying, but I couldn't wipe the tears away because my hands were still tightly in Michael's grip. I stared into his soul, watching for any sign of emotion. "So, what's it going to be?" I asked, taking a deep breath and finally looking away. His grip loosened and I was slowly placed down onto the step. He backed away as Gwyn came running up the stairs behind me and wrapping her arms around me. He rushed down the stairs, avoiding touching us and pushed past the boys. He opened the front door and slammed it shut after him, the whole house turning silent again.

"Its okay" Gwyn rubbed my back as I cried into her jumper. She was so oblivious, I wasn't crying because I was hurt, I was so emotionally drained and I had tried for days to get him to stop acting this way. Now it was over, my two year relationship I never thought would end has, and now I was consumed with emptiness. "Everything will be okay" She soothed, rubbing her hand up and down my back whist guiding down the staircase.

:(((( Sad times