Repression ▶ M•C ▶ 2/3

Chapter 28

                  

Gwyneth was still asleep on the sofa, her hair splayed across a pillow and her face soft and relaxed. She looked so much younger. I shuffled over to the kitchen and put the kettle on to boil. "George?" Gwyneth groaned, waking up and sitting up, shaking her head and making her hair fly everywhere. "Evening sweetie! coffee?" I offered her with a smile and she nodded and laughed "Of course" she said and yawned and stretched her arms. I made the coffees exactly how we both liked it before walking back into the living room with both mugs and handing Gwyneth hers before sitting down. "Cheers" she said, holding her mug up in the air with a smile on her face. "To what?" I asked, slightly confused about what she was doing. "To living out dream" she said, her smile growing wider as I held up my mug too and they clinked together. "Oh how could I forget" I said, mirroring her expression.

Nine days. 216 hours. That was how long I thought it would be until my perfect day, the whole day surrounded by nothing but kindness and affection. That wasn't too much to ask for, was it? I just wanted one day where there was no drama, no fighting or crying, how hard could that be? No one has spoken to me since last night, since Ashton said the truth, what everyone was thinking. Days like these I wish I was normal, that I had two loving parents and reliable friends, and that I knew exactly what I wanted and what to do. I didn't think I was a horrible person, maybe I just hadn't realised it at the time. I wish I knew, who exactly I was, who everyone thought I would sooner or later become. What if all of this was one huge mistake, that I should have never let them stay with me, ignored them for the duration of their trip here; maybe I wouldn't feel like this.

I decided to stop wallowing in self-pity and climbed off my bed. I was still wearing yesterday's clothes and my hair was getting dirty. I felt heavy, tired and sluggish, I didn't like how I saw myself, probably because I could use with a shower. I tied my hair up and put on the cardigan Gwyn borrow the day we went to the doctor's. I let my room and scuffed my socks against the carpet. No one seemed to be around, which was helpful, I didn't feel like listening and talking to people that didn't like me. I walked down the staircase and along the wooden floor, until I got to the kitchen and went in.

I gasped and jumped back once I saw everyone standing on the other side of the kitchen, staring at me. Luke seemed happy, with a wide smile on his face and his arm hung loosely around Tink's shoulder. She also looked happy; a warm vibe came from her grinning lips. Cat was stood next to them; her arms crossed and slouched to one side. I had never truly seen her look at me this way; I saw a side of her I hadn't noticed before. She wasn't looking tough or uninterested, she was being genuine, her true self. She was leaning on Calum's shoulder. He didn't look as cheery as everyone else, but he tried his best. He smiled weakly at me, before turning his head to Ashton, and I watched as Ash stepped forwards to me. "I'm sorry" he gushed. "I'm so sorry for the things I said to you yesterday, it was out of order. I regret it, you're none of those things I called you, you're the complete opposite. Ask any one of us, we'll tell you that you're the kindest and strongest person we've ever met, and are so lucky that you're in our lives. We love you, so much, so don't hate us" He tried to act cute, swaying back and forth playfully.

I felt a warm pair of hands wrap around my waist and felt the warm breath of someone in my ear. "I love you" He emphasized, as if he had to compete with Ashton's words. I broke into a grin as Michael started to kiss my neck, and I pushed him away as everyone watched us. "I could never hate any of you" I started to cry with happiness, and they all rushed towards me, making a huge huddle, laughing and giggling at each other.  I wanted it to be like this forever, I wanted to be friends with these people until the day I died. They made me feel alive, like I had a purpose in the world. I wanted to be on their journey to fame with them, help them get what they've always wanted.

That's when I realised, I now had a purpose. I was going to help them as much as I could, to make all their dreams come true. I didn't need hopes or dreams, I just knew that my only mission in life was to help my friends get exactly what they desire in life, whether that fame and fortune, or maybe just a family and a content way of life. I turned around and looked at Michael, before hugging him as tightly as I could. I would do anything to make him happy, and he knows that. "I love you too" I looked up at him and smirked. His eyes glistened down into mine, he looked so happy, and that was all that mattered. He didn't say anything, simply leaned down and kissed me, harder than he ever had before, as almost to show me just how much those words meant to him. I was completely content with my life again; I wasn't lost anymore, not now when I had all these loving people to guide me to where I needed to be.