One Day Since.

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Barronès POV:

"Sha-ane!" Something poked my face. "Oh Shaneeee! Wake up!" l rolled over in an attempt to get Drew to leave me alone. "Com'on Cy, it's time to go see Willow!"

"Lemme alone Drew... l'm sleepy." l moaned as l batted Drews hands away.

"l'm not Drew, l'm Kier. Get up Cy."

"But l don't wanna. Drew, make him go away." l complained to my bunk-mate/ secret-boyfriend, who completely ignored me. "Drew?" l repeated.

"Drews not here, don't you remember? Shit." Kier said, his voice filled with concern. He spun around and yelled to the other two men. "Guys come here, quick! Barronès forgotten again and l don't know what to do!" Laurence comes stumbling towards us with his hand gripping on his chest, suddenly it all came back to me and l blinked once. Fuck.

"Guys, guys, it's okay! l remember now, y'know when you wake up and you don't remember where you are? lt was just that, don't worry." The three men regarded me suspiciously. "What do we do?" Asked Luke.

"We're going to see Willow now anyway. We'll tell her abut this and see what she says." Kier decided after only a few moments of contemplation.

l chose not to argue with his judgement because although l knew l was fine l didn't want to worry my friends, Nurse Willow will tell them l'm okay.

We get dressed and tumble out of the van. l walk silently behind my band mates, noting every detail of the cracked tarmac, counting each piece of dropped gum, categorising it by colour and size.

Two big white pieces.

Three of medium grey.

Five small white blobs.

A single piece of pink.

l count it all in an attempt to keep my mind blank from what is trying to weasel it's way in.

Drew.

How did things come to this?

l follow my friends into the warm hospital, echoing their footfalls with my own. There is no gum on the floor here. l count the tiles instead.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Se- Drew. Drew. Drew. Drew.

"Come back." l whisper, knowing he cannot hear me. "Drew, please just come back. l need you." l say slightly louder.

"What was that?" Laurence asks and l shake my head soundlessly, looking at the ground, but he notices my expression, catches sight of the tears escaping my painful eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asks me, crouching down to see under my fringe.

"l- l'm okay. Please don't worry about me." l whisper to him, flinching away from the arm that he tries to put around me.

"You're allowed to be upset Barronè." He says softly, but l ignore him because l know that if l open my mouth to speak l'll break down and l don't want to do that here. Soon l'll be home and then l can hide away and cry as much as want to, without the other three pitying me. All l have to do convince Nurse Willow that l' sane.

We all sit down in yet another plain white room. This one was a consultation room, Nurse Willow sat on the opposite side of a desk to me, Luke, Laurence and Kier. The four of them spoke for a while and l stayed silent, watching the handles of the clock count away the time. After four minutes and twenty-six seconds Nurse Willow spoke directly to me.

"How do you feel today Barronè?"

"Fine."

A lie.

"Do you have any gaps in your memory at all?"

"No."

True.

"Have you seen Drew again?"

"No."

l wish.

"Are you having any suicidal thoughts?"

"No."

Maybe.

"Do you want to go home?"

"Yes."

So much.

l probably seemed rude for only giving such short, detailless answers but l honestly didn't have the energy to pretend to be interested, l just want to go home.

Nurse Willow stops questioning me and starts to talk to the other three people in the room. l don't pay any attention to what they're saying, l'm past the point of caring. After another seven minutes and fourty seconds have past everyone stands up ready to leave, l quickly follow suit.

"l'll see you next week then Barronè." Nurse Willow says as we trail out of the room.

"Okay." l reply, not having the faintest idea what she's talking about.

All l want to do is go home.

l follow my friends back to the van.

Not long now, not long.

Hold it in Cyrus, soon you can cry.

Not long now.

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