Of Fire and Ice

C.52

After a few hours looking through phone books and calling different people, I came across one person that could actually help.

"Hello, Magnolia Behavioural Centre. How can I help you?" A lady said. "Hi, I'd like to know what kind of therapists you guys have. I'm looking for a therapist and deciding who to visit." I said and could almost hear her nod. "Okay. We have four therapists that work in this building. Each can work on an array of things with patients from mental disorders to grief and trauma to coping." She said and I hummed.

Seemed more promising than the other places I'd called. Those had some sketchy things being said.

In no time, I got names and brief descriptions of the doctors and what they each specialised in, and I eventually chose Ms. Williams. I also scheduled an appointment with her on Thursday at six.

So I finally plucked up the courage and started going back to Fairy Tail. I was drinking a beer when I looked at the clock and saw it was five twenty. "Oh shit. I've gotta go." I said and took another sip and handed it to Grey. "Finish that off for me, kay?" I said and left some money and ran out, heading to the building.

I walked in and checked in at the reception desk, and the lady told me to sit in the lobby and wait for Ms Williams to come out to get me.

Not three minutes later, a woman in a nice dress with a knit Cardigan came out and saw someone out, then looked straight at me. Straight black hair and piercing blue eyes went well together.

"You must be Henley." She said and I nodded. "Nice to meet you. I'm Kim Williams." She said, holding out her hand, so I stood, shook it, and went back to her office with her.

"Sit anywhere you like." She said once she opened the door for me. "Thanks." I smiled and looked around. There was a nice squashy couch and two armchairs. I took the far left seat on the couch and she sat in the armchair right across from me.

"So, Henley. Is it alright if I call you Henley?" She asked and I nodded, my hands folding in my lap. "Why are you here today? What got you to come to therapy?" She asked and I sighed. "Well, I think it's a lot of things. Maybe it was my parents abandoning me the day I was born, maybe it's my psychopathic tendencies, maybe it's because I've killed a bunch of people and totally gotten away with it, accidentally, sorry. I'm not a murderer." I said and she nodded. "Maybe it's because I'm so clueless and scared stiff when it comes to relationships, or maybe it's because I've suddenly realised that I'm a freak. Somewhere along those lines." I nodded and she sighed.

"Let's start off with your story. Tell me everything about you from the day you were born up until this point." She said, and I told her. My parents abandoning me the day I was born, leaving me with dragons, Ari's mom dying when we were six, us living alone as criminals, struggling to get by, me finding my parents when I was thirteen, then watching them die, all the people I've killed in fights, then vowing to never fighting again, Ari and I living as independent criminals, finding Fairy Tail, making friends and a new family for the first time in forever, getting a place to stay and a roommate, actually being dependent on people for once, getting a boyfriend that lasts, breaking my vow and accidentally killing Gajeel, finding out I was cursed, my sister finding me again, and now... whatever this is now. My confusing emotions.

"So explain this to me. You don't feel emotion?" She asked and I shrugged. "See, I actually don't know. When I think I'm happy, I feel the exact same way as I do when I'm feeling angry or sad. I actually have no clue about what's happening in there." I said, patting over my heart. "It all feels the same." I sighed.

"And what does it feel like?" "I would say a big, empty nothing, but it's more like a constant. A constant what, I don't know. It's just constant." I shrugged.

The hour was almost up, so Kim sighed and told me what she thought was up with me. "It seems to me that you are mildly depressed with antisocial personality disorder. There also may be a bit of anxiety disorder and some abandonment issues. Being abandoned by your parents at that young of an age, and then seeing them die might explain how cautious you are to Grey. Probably also some trauma that could explain the abandonment issues." She said and looked over at me.

"So the question is, what do you want to do? Do you want to continue with therapy?" She asked and I made up my mind and nodded. "I would recommend once a week, but I think once every two weeks would also suffice for you. I'll walk you up to the desk." She said and we got up and left the room.

I scheduled an appointment for once every two weeks, an hour each. These things weren't cheap, but they weren't expensive either.

"I'll see you in two weeks." Kim smiled at me and I thanked her and said goodbye as I left for my house, not sure how I felt.

All I know is that I slept well that night.