Of Fire and Ice

C.54

It took me another day to come out of my room and go to the guild. It was two in the afternoon on Saturday, so everyone else was already there. I tried my best to not look like a piece of shit, meaning spending extra time on my clothes, hair, and makeup.

When I got to the guild, my team immediately looked up at me. I walked over cautiously, preparing myself for shit they would say.

I sat down and it was very quiet. "Sorry I blew up at you, Natsu." I said softly, and he just nodded. "It's okay. Whenever you're ready." He said and I let a smile show on my face for about half a second. Mira came around with my favourite beer. "Thanks." I smiled quickly at her too.

Harley was beside me and leaned her head on my shoulder, and Grey had his arm around my waist. Things like this still have me hope, hope that there were people put there who still cared for my wellbeing, even when I was feeling so very alone.

But I also know that hope is a mistake. Hope is a personal demon, because it's something you turn to when you have nothing else. And usually, hope betrays you. So hope is a demon.

"Therapy." The word tumbled from my mouth before I could stop it. They all stared at me. "Every other Thursday I go to see a therapist at six pm." I said in a soft voice, staring into my beer glass. "That's where I've been going." I said even softer and took a long drink of beer to busy myself.

It was unusually silent at our little table at that moment, and Grey hugged me even tighter to him. "Why?" Natsu asked and I shrugged and smiled a little, thinking up an answer. "You mean other than the reason than I'm a complete trainwreck?" I asked and they chuckled a little.

"Seriously." Grey asked. "Those are things that my therapist and I need to worry about, not you guys." I sighed. "Aw, C'mon. Henley, we care. Why can't we help a little?" Natsu asked. "Because none of you are licensed professionals in psychology." I said.

"Henley, just tell us." Natsu said and I closed my eyes. "You're pushing again, Natsu." I warned. "Just wanna help." He mumbled. "Well you're not going to help shit if you're pushy." I said. "Hey, don't fight now." Grey said to us. I leaned back on him, making sure not to disturb Harley, who was still on my shoulder, and drank my beer slowly.

"Do you talk about us?" Harley suddenly asked and she raised her head and I looked over so we were face to face. "Huh?" "Do you talk about us in therapy?" She asked and I grinned. "All the time. You guys are almost the main topic." I sighed. "Who do you talk about the most?" Grey asked.

"I think you and Harley are tied for first, then it would be Ari, then Lucy, then a tie between everyone else. But I do know that Lucy comes up a lot, but Ari comes up more than Lucy, and you and Harley come up an awful lot." I snickered.

"Bitch, I better come up in your therapy sessions often." Harley said, lying back down on my shoulder.

I still love them so much, after all this shit.