Of Fire and Ice

C.72

I was seated back on the far left of the couch in Dr Williams office.

"You look like you've had an interesting week." She said looking at my arm. "Yeah, I went on a job I wasn't supposed to go on." I said and she raised her eyebrow. "I'm just a normal wizard, and I convinced an S-class wizard to let me tag along on a job and help out cos I needed money. Well, I didn't tell anyone, and I told the Master to keep it secret. Make it look like I was on a normal job. Only people who know I went on an S-class mission is me, Ari, the dude I went with, the Master, and now you." I said.

"So none of your team knows? Not even Grey?" She asked and I shook my head. "That's gonna be hard to keep." She said and a smile broke out on my face. "Lying has always been easy for me." I shrugged.

I then moved so I was sitting up straight. "Two things that need to be covered." I said and she nodded. "Ari wants me to talk to you about this problem I have of taking my feelings out on other people." I said and she nodded. "People take their feelings out on others for a number of reasons. I'm guessing he main emotions you display are anger and annoyance?" She said and I smiled and nodded.

"Well, it's obvious you've got some anger management issues, so we can work to help you calm your anger down. But, if we're going with the antisocial route, there's not much we can do, other than find healthy ways for you to release anger instead of taking it out on other people and possibly ruining relationships you don't want to loose. What was the other one?" She asked.

"I don't... feel anymore." I said and she nodded. "Feels like there's a hole in your chest that's sucking the life out of you?" She said and I nodded. "That's a description used by many. It's also the most accurate description. Describe how the hole feels to me." She said and I sighed.

"It feels heavy. Heavy and dark and never-ending. A little bit like lead. My chest is heavy and the hole keeps growing constantly. That was the constant I told you about." I said and she nodded.

"Would you like to know what the people who described that feeling were diagnosed with?" She said and I nodded. "Depression." She said and I didn't really know how to react.

"I don't think I'm depressed..." I said. "That's why I think you're mildly depressed. With diagnosis, each one can trample another, or explain another. Most people with ASPD also have a small amount of depression, and most people, like you, also have an anxiety depression disorder. Anxiety and depression tend to go hand in hand. We've already covered that you're anxious, so it doesn't shock me all that much to find you even a little depressed." She said and walked over to your desk.

"I can prescribe antidepressants if you want to try them out, see how they make you feel." She said and I nodded. "I see no harm." I shrugged my left shoulder. "Great. Are you on pain medicine?" She asked, gesturing to my arm and I shook my head. "No. I get massive menstrual cramps, so small pain like this doesn't really bother me anymore." I shrugged.

"I find that to be the cause for most women." She chuckled and handed me a piece of paper. "Just give this to a doctor and they should be able to hook you up." She smiled.

"Thank you." I smiled, and our hour was up. I made an appointment for two weeks later, Thursday at six, and went to go see if a pharmacy was open.

Luckily, there was one open, and a sweet lady with a kind smile and soft smile lines got me the medicine and I paid. "How often do I take these?" I asked. "One every morning." She said and I nodded. "Okay. Thank you." I smiled and walked away.

I got back and saw Grey was in my room. "Hey, you're back late." He raised his head and got up to help me undress. "Yeah. I'm on prescription now. Just testing some stuff out, nothing serious." I said and his face turned to look at me.

I leaned forward and joined our lips in a sweet kiss. I missed these gentle moments with Grey. Hell, I practically lived for them.

"I'm fine. Don't worry." I said and I saw the doubt in his eyes. "Let's get some sleep." I said and kissed him again.

I curled up to his bare chest once we were lying down and fell asleep in no time.

Right where I belonged.