A Little Too Much | Shawn Mendes (COMPLETED)

25 | State of Love and Trust

Allie's POV;

It all makes sense now. I understand why I felt such a connection to Shawn the first day I met him. The stolen glances, almost kisses, childish teasing and rough housing. The thoughts, the desires of wanting to kiss him. But never in my wildest dreams did I ever think this would happen. I've never anyone's first choice before. I've never even had a real home before. But now everything is falling into place. My mother has custody of me, she's clean and can give me a good life. I have a friend, or maybe something more. Things are getting better.

But Shawn still doesn't know.

How do I tell him? I always planned to tell him about the beatings, how I was locked in an attic and almost starved to death. I also intended on telling him my past. I wanted to tell him everything. But why do I feel the need to hide it now? We just kissed, at the top of a Ferris wheel of all places. How do I tell him what I endured? Will he think like the others? Will he think I'm not good enough? I wasn't good enough for anyone else, why would I be good enough for him?

I quickly shake these thoughts out of my head as I realize we're still sitting in the ferris wheel, grinning at each other.

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that," Shawn says, still breathing a bit erratically. I nod, trying to regain my composure as we exit the ferris wheel and go to buy some food before heading home.

Wait, what are we now? We've kissed twice, we've almost kissed more times than I can count, and we seem to have this unofficial thing going between us. I never really knew what to call it, but now I have no idea.

"Shawn, what are we?" I ask as we sit on bench and share a plate of fried dough. Shawn looks into my eyes and smiles. God, I love his smile.

"Well... Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

I bite my lip and smile down at my shoes before lifting my gaze back to meet his eyes. "I think I would like that."

Shawn smiles, pressing his lips to my forehead before taking my hand and leading me back to the car.

The car ride home is slightly awkward, yet at the same time I feel peaceful when I'm with Shawn. I don't really know how to put it, and I'm not really sure what to do. What do couples do when they're dating? I've never really seen couples around and since I grew up in so many different foster homes, I don't really have an example of what people should be doing when they're dating. What am I supposed to do?

•••

I wake up the next morning and see Shawn has texted me and wants me to come over. I pull my hair into a messy bun as I enter the kitchen. Mom smiles as she sits at the table with a cup of coffee.

"Morning," she says, taking a long, exaggerated sip from her mug. I raise my eyebrows at her and make myself a waffle.

"So, you and Shawn," she begins, and I roll my eyes.

"Mom," I groan as I go back into my room. I tug on a sweater and some jeans before coming back into the kitchen.

"He took you to the carnival. Did anything happen?"

Of course something happened, but I'm not about to tell her this. She's the nosiest person I've ever met, gosh. I don't even know how she found out about Shawn taking me to the carnival, since he didn't tell me about it.