A Little Too Much | Shawn Mendes (COMPLETED)

33 | Can't Fight This Feeling

Allie's POV;

I roll over and unlock my phone tiredly, checking the time. It's already 10:15, but I feel like I barely slept. I've required a lot more sleep lately, which is really annoying.

The next thing I notice is the date; May first, along with a Twitter notification from Shawn. As much as I don't want to read it, I just can't help myself.

@/shawnmendes - excited to keep performing, although I'm missing home lately...

I roll my eyes. Just as I'm about to exit out of the Twitter app, he tweets again.

@/shawnmendes - also missing a certain person right about now, but music can always help take my mind off of things

I narrow my eyes at this. Is he talking about me? If he's so upset about it, why doesn't he just, oh I don't know, talk to me about it? I shake my head in exasperation and decide to get up and get dressed. I really don't feel like using all my energy thinking about Shawn again today, so I call Faith and Kelly and ask if they want to do something since it's Saturday. They agree and we meet in a nearby park about an hour later.

"I saw Shawn's recent tweet," Kelly begins. I already know where she's going with this. "We're not doing this, Kelly. I'm moving on, remember?" Kelly sighs.

As much as we all hate to admit it, I need to get over this and go back to my normal life. I don't really know whether I would rather move on or if I still want Shawn in my life, but I do know that he's not coming back. So whether I like it or not, moving on is the only choice I have.

"Come on, let's talk about something else. Lets talk about college!" Faith exclaims. Kelly and I groan and shake our heads. Of course we have an interest in our futures, we would just rather not talk about it 24/7.

"You guys need to put more interest into your futures!" Faith scolds as she goes to the local bathroom in the park.

"Seriously, though," Kelly says as we sit on a bench near the bathroom, "Have you guys even talked about it?" I sigh and shake my head. "Not since that texting incident," I say, and Kelly widens her eyes. "That could have been an in the moment thing! Shawn is the nicest boy I've ever met, maybe there was a misunderstanding. Both his and your stubbornness could be ruining your destiny!" She exclaims. I laugh and shake my head. "I highly doubt that us being together is destiny," I scoff, and Kelly shrugs. "Just call him! Try to talk things you, I mean the worst he can do is reject you right? And then you go on your merry way and continue to get over him."

She says it like its the easiest thing in the world, when it really isn't. I've always been stubborn, not to mention I'm also terrified that he's moving on as well. However, there's a tiny glimmer of hope welling inside me, a hope that it was just a misunderstanding and that maybe we could move past it. I hate getting my hopes up because they're always crushed, but I can't help what I feel around Shawn. He's an exception to my 'feel the least about of emotion possible' rule. I try to push what I feel aside so it doesn't hurt me, but I felt too strongly about Shawn. Maybe it's not a bad thing. Maybe it's good.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and get ready to dial his number, until a recent tweet stops me. This tweet happens to be Shawn kissing another girl. I sigh, showing Kelly the photo before sliding my phone back into my pocket.

He's moving on.

He doesn't want me anymore.

I didn't think it would hurt this much, but it does. This is the reason I push my feelings away.

•••

Faith and Kelly have been trying to cheer me up for the past several hours, without success. I wish I didn't feel like this. I wish that this boy didn't have such a huge effect on me. But he does. And I can't do anything about it. I hate it.

"There has to be an explanation!" Kelly argues, defending Shawn like she has been since he left without saying goodbye.

"He was horrible to Allie, and now he's kissing another girl. There is no explanation other than the fact that he's moving on, and Allie should too," Faith states with a sigh. I flop down on my bed. I don't know whose side to take, but I just can't get my hopes up anymore. There had to be a reason Shawn kissed her, so I guess we're done. We have to be.

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone vibrating. I tiredly pull it out of my pocket, and my eyes widen when I see who's calling.

"Who is it?" Faith and Kelly ask in sync. I show them, and they both gape at the screen.

"Should I answer it?" I ask, staring at my phone. My heart is pounding. This is my chance. Without thinking, I press answer, but my throat goes dry.

"Put it on speaker!" Kelly whisper-yells, so I do.

"Allie?" Shawn's voice sounds frazzled and stressed. "Are you there?"

"Yeah," I whisper, not really sure what else to say.

"I'm so, so sorry, Allie, for everything. I never meant to send such a horrible text, and I should have called or texted or something but — I don't even know. I guess I was afraid you would be too angry or hurt to forgive me, which I completely understand, but then that picture of me and Diana kissing was all over Twitter and - I'm assuming you saw it..."

"Yes, I saw it," I interrupt his rambling, and he sighs.

"I can't begin to explain how sorry I am, Allie. I can explain everything."

"Okay."

We're interrupted by a knock on the door, so I get up to answer it. Only to reveal Shawn standing at my door with flowers. My eyes widen as my hands fall limp to my sides and I end our call.

I don't even know why, but my throat closes up and the tears begin to fall. Shawn frowns sadly as he pulls me into his arms and we rock back and forth.

"I think I still love you," I whisper before I can even process what I'm saying. "I hate that I'm so in love with you." Shawn squeezes me tightly. "I know," he whispers, "I'm still in love with you too."

A/N - I'm back, hi! Is anyone else excited for Shawn's second album?! I can't wait to hear more info about it! Anyway, keep reading, my fellow Shawn lovers. Xoxo - Em😊❤️