But It's Better If You Do || Brendon Urie|| EDITING IN PROGRESS

Chapter Nineteen

Little did poor Brendon know, my plane hadn't quite taken off yet, and the suspicious weather hovering above was no help. The long delay in our flight gave me a lot of time to think things over...time that I really didn't want, but received anyway. As I sat there patiently in my chair thinking to myself, Brendon crept in and crossed through my brain, and a shiver of guilt ran up each vertebra of my spine slowly. The least I could do for the guy was have a goodbye talk with him before I left Los Angeles forever. I had to give him that much at least. At least let him know why I was leaving.

Alex
Okay asshole, you win, I'm coming over. Don't go anywhere.
Sent 10:10

It wasn't until after I sent that text message that I realized how very vague my words were. I'm coming over? Over where? It didn't say anything about me going to my house. Shit.

"Uhm...excuse me, Mam'?" I nudged the blonde flight attendant's arm gently with my hand, causing her head to abruptly snap over to look at me.

"I really hate to be 'that person,' but I have to get off of this plane right now. Last minute plans."

She was shocked at first, but eventually she shook it off and nodded understandingly, her perfect light blonde hair swaying around in neat golden strands over her shoulder. It was always girls like that who you would think guys like Brendon would go for. The beautiful, perfect girls who look like they grew up in a family full of pretentious supermodels. You know the type. The annoyed look on her makeup-concealed face told me that this hadn't been the first time someone had asked to exit the plane early.

"Okay not a problem at all Mam'. Right this way then. Follow me," she chirped happily. Funny how the sour expression on her face had faded and she was using polite words like "mam'" with that stupid fake grin on her face now that people were watching her closely. Not that I hadn't faked plenty of smiles before in my own life, though...

"Thank you it means a lot," I spat out in one large jumble of words. She just nodded courteously at me and proceeded to lead me down the isle of the plane, uttering no other words other than "Good day to you, mam'" once we reached the cramped boarding room again, to which I responded blankly in a similar manner. All I wanted was to get home before Brendon left. It seemed like the entire universe was purposefully making it as difficult for me as possible to reach my goal in time. I tapped my fingers anxiously against the steering wheel of my car, eyeing the bright red stoplight sitting before me, taunting me as if to say: "You think you're going to get there on time? Think again."

After what seemed like a full boring lifetime of waiting, my house was in plain view, along with Brendon's beautiful red Mercedes sitting idle in the driveway. He hadn't left? But why? There was noting left for him there; no items of his that he left behind, nobody there he was expecting to see, nothing there that could be of use to him...no real reason for him to still be there at all. I fumbled around in my jean pocket for my keys and opened the door with my shaky hand. For whatever reason, I was on edge and I couldn't seem to shake the feeling that something bad had happened in my own house or somewhere near my house. Something was very wrong. Something involving Brendon in some way. Something.

The house was pretty much the same exact way I left it...Practically spotless and completely organized, just how my mom liked it to be all the time. When I walked into my bedroom the sight laid out before me -almost as if Brendon wanted me to walk in and see it- caught me off guard a little bit, but I quickly shook it off and placed my hands on my hips. It was apparent to my in that awkward moment of silence that he hadn't left my house. He had stayed right where he was the entire time.

"Brendon, what the f-"

I wasn't sure exactly where my mom was at that point in time, so outright cussing in front of Brendon wasn't a risk that would've been smart to take. I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek and retried.

"WHAT are you still doing here on my bed Brendon Urie...In my mother's house?! Are you flipping crazy or something? I told you to-"

Then it hit me. I had told him to come to my house in his mind (thanks to my vague text.) That was where I wanted him to go in the first place...the place I was referring to in my last text sent to him. He had already been there so he didn't have to go anywhere. He never left. Why, then, was I so upset with him for staying in the exact place we had intended to meet? He hadn't done anything to deserve my harsh scolding. I suppose in my mind I'd wanted him to leave my house once I reached the plane because of the pinned up anger towards him that, I'll admit, I was still refusing to let go of.

"Hey, calm down Al," He lovingly pleaded as he stood to his feet, giving me his famous lopsided grin that I so adored with all of my heart. Oh how I'd missed that smile of his.

"I already told you not to fucking call me Al, Brendon! Don't call me that! Ever!" I retorted loudly with the most frightening tone I'd ever used on anyone. My teeth slid roughly against each other, making a strange gritting sound that could be heard easily in the dead silent room. "I barely fucking know you and I never said that you could call me anything other than Alexandria! Stop pretending that we know each other because we don't! You don't know me, Brendon Urie, and you never will know me. You know my name and that's all you'll ever know."

His eyes widened immensely as he took a few large steps away from me. Those words had stung him. These were the moments that being able to keep a consistent harsh attitude was a good thing...the moments that being like me, a bitch, basically, was something that I could use to my advantage in order to frighten him the way he deserved to be frightened. He needed to be afraid of me. To leave me be so that I could move on with my life and hopefully start over new somewhere else without him.

They say that you can't run for long from anything, especially from your past, but I say that's just a flying load of smelly brown bullshit that "they" say to make you think that the past is some scary thing that nobody can really escape from if it manages to tangle you up in its tight grasp. Again, bullshit. My plan was to get the hell out of there when the opportunity arose. Away from my mom, away from Brendon, away from everything that was toxic to be around. Everything that was affecting my mental health. If you want to call that running away from my problems then good for you. Maybe I was.

"Alexandria what is the matter with you? You're not usually like this..." He said as he took a few steps closer to me. Bad idea. BAD. IDEA. Along with those steps came a few more.

Alexandria? Well at least you're respecting my wishes. But why aren't you afraid? Why won't you run far away and just leave me alone forever? I figured I'd hurt you enough by now that you'd be on a plane out of here but so far it's only made you like me that much more. Why won't you just go find another girl? Why me? What am I to you anyway? If anyone should be flying on a plane right now Brendon Boyd Urie, it's you.

"How do you know what I'm 'usually like' Brendon?"

His saddened eyes flickered over to one of the bedroom walls and it was quite clear to see through his dark brown eyes that he was stuck deep in thought, not quite sure what to say. There was only one suitable response to my question. It wasn't that hard to say.

"...I d-don't"

My head shot straight up when those words floated into the air and my shocked gaze met his docile one. That was indeed the response I'd hoped he would say. Who knows what could have happened if he had spoken any other words other than those beautifully constructed words. His voice lingered in my eardrums, singing like a symphony of bliss. They spun around in my head over and over:

"I don't."

Those two words uttered from his nervous mouth changed the entire game in one foul swoop (as suspected.) He usually wasn't that open to playing by my rules...there was always a fight with him no matter what the situation. He was one of the most stubborn people I'd ever met in my lifetime. Getting him to say those words willingly -and with very little resistance, I might add- was a huge accomplishment in my mind. Clearly he was willing to get me back enough to follow my lead without even trying to take the lead for himself. I was tempted to say something to the effect of "Good boy, Brendon," but that would've been a little weird.

"Yeah that's right. You fucking DON'T. So with that being said..."

...I took a few wobbly steps closer to him...