But It's Better If You Do || Brendon Urie|| EDITING IN PROGRESS

Chapter Thirteen

"Honey! Dinner's ready!"

It wasn't until mom's upbeat voice rattled the walls of the house that I'd realized what had occurred. I'd had a daydream...not the kind of daydream that uninterested High School kids might have in their all-too-boring Mathematics class...but the type that might actually mean something much deeper than what's shown on the surface. It only lasted mere seconds thanks to my extremely unaware mother. I sluggishly headed straight out to the Kitchen with a fairly straight face on. A mask. Mom couldn't know about Brendon or anything more than what she already knew, which was pretty much everything about me. For whatever crazy reason, Brendon was something that I wanted to keep top secret at all costs.

Secret from my Mom...

Secret from my sister...

Secret from everybody. Every single person.

And I knew that I just couldn't afford to screw this one up. If word got out that Brendon and I were more than friends (not that we were together necessarily, but we definitely weren't just acquaintances at this point...it was beyond that point now.) things would not go well at all for me or for him. Soraya had already innocently stumbled on us laying together on the ground in an extremely awkward position. Any further knowledge, accurate or otherwise, could be detrimental to everything. I wasn't sure why this alluring man had me so worried sick, but he did, and of that I was utterly certain and painfully aware.

I often stayed up for hours on end in the latest hours of the night for weeks straight thinking about everything possibly thinkable involving Brendon Urie.

Why was I so very interested in this man?

What exactly were his intentions? To keep me up at night?

What was going on with me?

Perhaps he wasn't trying to spark up my interest at all. Maybe it was just me being ridiculous. Besides, what would a perfect man like him want with an imperfect girl like me? Nothing. Not even a good lay, because Lord knows I wouldn't be able to offer him that anyway considering that huge age gap between us. It didn't matter how long or hard I thought about it, I could never seem to figure out what he had to gain from our strange relationship. Nothing ever seemed to add up in my mind when it came to Brendon. He was exactly like an impossible puzzle that someone as dumb as me couldn't ever be smart enough to crack. It felt as though a heavy weight was pressing against my insides day and night, causing me to lose way too much valuable sleep and my (typically) immense appetite. My mom eventually figured it out with enough time. She was bound to figure it out eventually. Brendon was practically oozing off of me with every single step I took; every stupid little thing I'd utter from my mouth always involved Brendon. Always.

When I hesitantly called him on that strange rainy night, I honestly didn't think that she would be secretly listening through my purposefully closed door...

But she did.