But It's Better If You Do || Brendon Urie|| EDITING IN PROGRESS

Chapter Twenty Nine

(HEADS UP: this chapter is very long and quite revealing. It sorta has to be long though since it's the last chapter in the book.)

"Brendon what are you doing?"
I groaned out in discontent, hinting for him to remove his hands from my petite waist. He only wanted me stuck there because I'd nonverbally threatened to leave.

Brendon was always annoyingly tenacious. He refused to give up on anything important, even when someone pleaded and begged for him to do so. He could read body language as easily as reading a child's book, though, so he was able to quickly pick up on my body's subliminal messages. He removed his arms from my torso with a loud sigh.

"Please don't do this. Alex I promise nothing happened between us last night and even if something had happened, you would know by now. I honestly don't care what I've got to do to prove that, but please don't leave. Please stay. I'll prove it to you. Let me do that at least. Go to the bathroom and check. If that stuff had actually happened, there should be a significant amount of blood or something shouldn't be quite the same as before. You won't feel as you usually do because you'll be tired and groggy. I know it's weird but seriously you need to check...for both of our sakes..."

I was always tired and groggy, but Brendon was right-- there would have been something out of place at the very least even if he had used protection in the process, and there wasn't. In fact everything was perfectly fine...no indication that anything had happened at all besides sleep (my messy, disheveled hair and outward appearance reminded me of that.) I wanted something to hold against him, but there wasn't a single speck of evidence supporting my claim. It was like a crime with no leftover evidence to convict anyone of murder. I felt that something had happened, but couldn't prove it.

Maybe you're just being overdramatic. Yeah he's a celebrity, but not all celebrities are jerks. Don't stereotype people. There's no proof here that anything went on so fucking drop it and go apologize for being so speculative toward the poor dude. All he's ever been is kind to you, Alex, can't you see that? The so called "rudeness technique" you've used to shut everyone out all these years is wasted on him. There's no need to shut this one out unless he gives you good reason to, and that hasn't happened yet.

I walked out of the bathroom with a newfound confidence supporting me. That's the one reason why vomit didn't come up upon seeing his pusillanimous demeanor. Brendon sat nervously at the edge of the large bed, awaiting my response in agonizing terror of the potential results. His eyebrows were raised up close to his hairline and his entire aura was different; anxious...anticipating. Nerves were high. We both had doubts about the events of the previous night.

Here it goes, I thought to myself.

"Nothing," I admitted, solemnly tugging at the hood strings of my favorite black hoodie.

"See? Our relationship is completely platonic, and I've got absolutely no intention of ridding us of that rare bond. I've fucked a lot of girls before, Alex, but I'm older now and things have changed. I don't view women in the same disgusting, vile, and most of all inaccurate way as I did when I was twenty. That temporary youth haze is gone now, you must understand that."

Psh, yeah right. Maybe part of it was gone but the other half still stuck around like an ominous rain cloud looming overhead. Age can fix many things, but not everything. The gullible twenty year old in him still longed for my skin to be brushing against his; for my lips to utter his name and his name alone in the darkness of the night under the dim light of the yellowing moon. Age can't take away all yearning for seemingly unattainable things.

"Bren really let's be honest here, you're still young and more susceptible to bad decisions than you think. Do you know what the number one sign that someone isn't really as knowledgeable as they claim to be is? It's saying that they're knowledgeable. That's the number one sign."