Michael
"Damien's here" I freeze stiff and forget about how hard she's squeezing my hand.
What the fuck? Did he follow her here? How did he know what hotel? Shit, it's probably pretty easy if he knows that we're together. Find the hotel with tons of fans outside, you find us, and Sarah.
"Where?" I ask through clenched teeth.
"Michael, no. He wants you to cause a scene, he wants to bring you down. Don't let him." she tells me. She's trying to be firm, but I can hear the fear in her voice.
"Not if he's scaring you babydoll." I'm trying to stay calm, for her.
"Can we just ignore him? Please? I'm only telling you because I promised you I would. As long as he stays away and we don't provoke him, nothing will happen."
"But he's scaring you, I can hear it in your voice," I tell her as calmly as I can. The guys are watching us, shock on their faces. Normally, by now I'd be punching his face in.
"Baby, look at me," she says, turning her body towards me. I turn towards her and she puts her hand on my cheek, instantly melting away a large portion of my anger. "I know what I'm doing," she says. "Trust me, please?" I see the pleading in her eyes and my remaining anger dissolves away. I nod my head and she brings my lips to hers for a brief kiss. "Thank you." We sit there for a few minutes until Calum speaks up.
"Well that was fun! Dave's here, time to go." After everyone climbs out of the round booth from the other side, I take her hand off my cheek, holding it in mine and smile at her. "Let's go rock London!" I say excitedly. She giggles and we climb out of the booth towards the waiting group, hands remaining interlocked.
"Before we go, Sarah, will you at least point him out to Dave, please? So at least one person here besides you knows who to watch out for?" Luke asks her. I was just thinking the same thing. She nods and releases my hand.
"Just get a good look at him. We'll explain on the way." I tell Dave.
He nods, "I have to pay the bill anyway."
They walk inside together up to the bar and pay the bills. Dammit Sarah paid for her own! I can tell Sarah's explaining to him where Damien is and when he nods, she walks back to us, wrapping her arms around my waist.
"You paid for yourself again." I scowl.
"On the label's business credit card! In the end you paid for it anyway!" she smirks. "Besides, it made a good excuse to go in with Dave." Damn she's smart. She's got the cool head I lack.
When Dave returns, we go out the back to the SUV and leave for the arena.
"Now who exactly is that dorky assclown?" Dave asks. Sarah explains the situation to him and he nods. "You won't be anywhere out here without one of the security by your side, understood?" he orders.
"He's not that - "
"Understood?"
She groans and finally agrees.
Sarah
This is why I didn't want to tell them! I hate feeling so helpless and useless. I felt that way long enough. I'm sick of it. I know it's for my own protection, but seriously? He won't do anything to me. Or at least back then he wouldn't. I have no idea if he would now. My strength finally caves at that thought and I give in to the idea.
We pull into the gated section of the arena and are escorted inside to the dressing room where we're given our All Access passes, otherwise known as God passes. The guys go out for the initial soundcheck, the one they do before the "soundcheck experience", while I pick at the food in the dressing room. I didn't get to eat my breakfast, and I threw up anything else that was left in my stomach, so I'm really starving. I can't stop thinking about the skipped pill and I am scared to death. But I also know that all this stress right now isn't helping me. My cycle won't come under this much stress, so I need to find a way to relax. I sit down on the couch and bury my head in my hands. I have to tell Michael. I can't keep something like this from him. I have to admit, I'm terrified to tell him. I just wish I knew more. Fuck. This could end us, depending on how he reacts. I need to get that contract signed, so I can go to Leeds and head home if need be.
As soon as they're back in the dressing room, I get out the contract and sit them down to sign it.
"Okay, so the wording on the initial contract left a possible loophole that could've screwed you guys over. James talked to them and rewrote it. This is the new one that will fix that. So, sign here and we're good to go." I tell them. As they all sign it, Luke asks who caught it. "Uh, I did, kinda. I didn't quite realize it was a loophole, but the wording didn't sound right. I gave it to James and he fixed it."
"Great job, Sarah. Thank you!" I smile back at him then ask Michael if I can speak to him alone. I really wish I didn't have to do this.
We find an empty room a few doors down, and I tell him he wants to sit. I know that scares him, but he really should sit.
"Um, so I need to tell you something, but I want you to know that it was in no way intentional. And I am freaked the fuck out right now."
"What's wrong Sarah? What happened?" He's getting really nervous and I don't blame him. I just don't know which way to say it. Fuck. Ok, here goes.
"The day we flew out to Australia, the time zone changes got me all messed up and I accidentally skipped a pill. I didn't realize it until this morning because I was calculating the time change." His normally pale face goes stark white.
"Are you saying - " he trails off.
"I don't know yet. I'm just letting you know there's a chance. I should be starting today, but with all the stress this past week with Damien, there's a good chance I won't start regardless. So that doesn't help." He stays quiet and I'm not sure if that's a good sign or bad. When he gets up and walks out of the room, I conclude that it's a bad thing. Shit.
I stay in the room for at least another hour, unable to move. I just sit there and cry. And pray. I'm a very inactive Christian, but praying can only help. One way or another, I have to find a way to get through this. I am strong. I am not going to let the possibility of losing Michael bring me down. He does not define me. What was I telling Ashton last night? Everything happens for a reason. Don't focus on what happened, focus on the reason. That is what I need to keep me strong. There is a reason for all this madness. I need to stay strong to find it.
I curl up in the chair Michael was sitting in and cry myself to sleep.
Michael
"Where is she?" Dave storms into the dressing room right after the soundcheck experience ends. I shrug.
"I haven't seen her for a few hours. I needed space and she knew that, and gave it to me. Why?"
"Because Damien was at soundcheck. But he left part way through. We need to find her." He wouldn't do anything, right? She asked me to trust her. And then she told me there's a chance she could be pregnant. Fuck! If he does anything to her, whether she's pregnant or not... I jump out of my chair faster than anyone has ever seen me move. I run down the hall to the room we were in earlier to find it empty. No! God please no. I can't lose her! As I'm about to leave, I spot her necklace on the floor, the black heart I gave her for valentines day.
"DAVE!!" He comes running in the room and I show him the necklace. "She never takes it off except to shower. This isn't good. I can't lose her Dave! Especially if she IS pregnant!"
"Woah, what?" Ashton asks from behind Dave.
"That's what we were talking about earlier, why I needed space. She missed a pill by an honest mistake. We have no idea if she is or not, but there's a chance that she could be."
"Oh fuck. We need to find her."
