My Wonderful Fucked up Life

Holidays

Hmm I would say holidays were always interesting in my family. I remember one Christmas when I was little everybody was at my granny's house doing random crap while we waited to open presents. I walked down the hall into the back bedroom and these retards had on boxing gloves. I think it was my cousins Tyler and Scotty maybe my dad... That were hitting each other for fun idk there all strange. The weirdest holiday would have to be 4th of July, 2015. My cousin Tyler lit the big finale firework first held it in his hand and began swinging it around...

Let's back up to earlier that day. Normal family stuff cooking, chatting, watching movie, chasing a cat around the house catching it shoving it in your shirt while you use the bathroom standing up to pull your pants up cat falls in you go outside cousin records you while a cat jumps out your pants, playing cards, swimming, piging out on food. Yeah so all that normal family crap and then we get to night time when everybody's trying to get my retard cousin to stop throwing lit firecrackers everywhere.

My dad was passed out in a chair so he threw one under him and he didn't budge. No he wasn't dead I figured that out by trying to draw on his face. I don't know if this was before or after all the craziness but I think we brought there chicken inside and let it walk on the microwave so it could play with the fake chicken

Anyway to birthdays. My cousin Abby's birthday party was quit eventful considering it was her sweet sixteen. I wasn't in the mood to be around people so I stayed in my room watching harry potter until some lady walked in sat on my bed and started petting my cat... Moving on

My friend Megan came over to hang out with me so I wouldn't be bored so she got to witness all the madness as well. When we came out my room a lot of people were covered in cake and Tyler and Scotty were carrying Abby outside, down some stairs then lifted her up and threw her in the pool.

Apparently all that started with a failed egg war. I got frosting wiped on my cheek by Scotty I was in a bitchy mood so I took a handful of cake and rubbed it in his hair.