smell the roses | j.j.k

04

October 21st

You had a full conversation with me today. You didn't just walk in, get roses and leave.

You called me by my name, and now it sounds dirty and wrong when someone else says it.

I heard your laugh today. I also saw the flowers shrivel because it produced more light than the sun.

I can't believe how easy it was to get lost in your eyes. They seem so dark from a distance, but when I was close, it was as if I was staring into a swirling cup of coffee on a cold winters day.

Your voice was so soft, I almost felt bad for making you use it. But at the same time I was grateful. I didn't know a voice could make me feel that warm.

You told me about the girl. Maybe it's because I have come to terms with the fact I was falling for your eyes rather than for you, but I didn't curse her in my head. I applauded her, because somehow she had caught you. The way your eyes glimmered as you spoke about her, I couldn't bring myself to feel any spite towards her.

I'm sorry I laughed in your face when you asked if I had a special someone. A part of me wished you could read my mind to see it was hard to notice anyone when you have the definition of beauty in front of you. You would have laughed back at me. Not in a mean way, but in a flattered way. I would have blushed.

I tell you what makes you the most beautiful to me.

You aren't perfect. You even told me yourself.

You told me how you stumble over your words around her. How it was hard to look her in the eye. I wondered if you noticed me doing the same thing to you. The way you blushed and found it almost impossible to be around her, but it was even more unbearable to not see her. You told me you had trouble speaking and being around girls you liked.

It made me realise how comfortable and easy you talked to me. It also made me realise what your were.

You were just a boy. Beautiful. But still had the simplicity of an average boy.

How does you being so average make you so extraordinary to me.

I guess I'm wrong. You are perfect. But it depends on the definition of perfection you are searching for.

I think you believe your flaws take away your title of being faultless. I believe flaws is what makes someone human. I believe humanity is beautiful.

Maybe that's why I'm coming to terms with my daft obsession with you. Because me falling for the crinkles by your eyes when you smile is one of the most humans things I have done in my whole life.

Thank you Jeon Jungkook, for making me unbalanced but so incredibly stable.