Steph’s POV
Parang nanigas ang katawan ko sa sinabi nya. Wala akong ibang maramdaman kung hindi ang pagpatak ng luha ko. Totoo ba ang mga nangyayari?
Ilang segundo ang lumipas pero wala akong maisagot sa sinabi nya. Parang tumigil ang pag-ikot ng mundo ko.
“Hey” he cupped my right cheek as his tears began to fall. Umiiyak kami sa harap ng isa’t isa.
Hinawakan ko ang kamay nya na nakahawak sa pisngi ko. I closed my eyes and feel his touch. Dahan-dahan kong inihimas ang mukha ko sa mga palad nya. Kasabay nang paghimas ko ang pagbuhos ng luha ko sa kamay nya.
“I didn’t lie to you when I said I got scared” he managed to say in between his sobs. “But I was never scared of marrying you.. I was scared of dying after marrying you”
Mas lalong nag-igting ang kirot sa puso ko. “Akala ko ayaw mo na akong pakasalan kaya ka umalis. You should’ve told me” alam kong may bahid ng pagsisisi sa tono ng boses ko.
“I don’t want to be a burden to you. I’m the guy, I’m supposed to be the one taking good care of you and not the other way around” inilagay nya ang mukha ko sa pagitan ng kanyang mga palad na para bang pilit nyang ipinaiintindi sa akin ang mga sinasabi nya.
Iyak lang ang naisasagot ko sa kanya. “I can’t believe you thought I don’t want to marry you anymore.” Nakita ko ang kaunting ngiti sa mga labi nya habang sinasambit ito. Siguro iniisip nya na napakababaw ng pagtingin ko sa pag-alis nya.
“S-Steph, I wanted to marry on the day that I saw you wearing that white dress when you we’re seven. I wanted to marry you when you had a fight with that flirty girl that was hitting on me when we were in grade school. I wanted to marry you when we were slow dancing at prom. I wanted to marry you when I saw you crying because you were so jealous at my new officemate.” How can he possibly say these words to me now?
He put his fingers between mine and kisses the back of my palm softly. “Steph, marrying you is my life-long dream” he added as he wipe my tears.
“Pero nung araw ng kasal natin. Habang papalapit ka sa akin, parang nag fast forward ang lahat. And I couldn’t afford to take away your future because of my disability. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone whom you will grow old with. Yung kasama mong puputi ang buhok mo, hindi yung kasama mo lang ng ilang buwan o ilang taon.” sabi nya.
At that moment, I wanted to go back in time and change everything.
Sana hindi ako bumitaw. Sana naghintay pa ako. Sana.
I look deep into his eyes and felt nothing but guilt. Dahil habang nakikipaglaban syang mag-isa sa sakit nya at habang iniisip nya ang kapakanan ko, I was also busy hating him and fucking some random guy in New York. How can I be so selfish?
Pakiramdam ko napakasama kong tao. Sinaktan ko sya at kinasuklaman but all this time, he was thinking about me.
BINABASA MO ANG
SFLL
General FictionI was vulnerable when I met him. I was suffering. I was grieving. He made me forget the pain. He gave me PLEASURE to forget the PAIN. It seemed so wrong but felt so right. Warning: This story contains mature scenes that may not be appropriate to all...
