Carrier (TPA2)

3:

   Seven months.

   North will be turning one soon. I wonder how long her hair is, or if she's sleeping okay. Did Rayanne have her baby? I thought about North and her baby playing together.

A little smile was on my lips at the only happy thought. My mind wandered to my mate. I wonder how he's holding up. Are him and North as close as they were, or had he given up? Of course not. He promised me he wouldn't. But yet, promises don't always get kept.

I think about that for a minute, I ball my hand into a fist and slam it against the wall. It goes through, but my knuckles hit the hard wood inside and I hear a cracking sound.

"Damnit!" I shout. I went against my promise to Ryan. I'm sleeping with another man, not because I want to, but I'm still doing it. I hate myself for it. I rest my forehead against the wall, hold my hand close to my chest and begin to cry.

My stomach growls, I look towards the bowl of soup in front of me laying untouched. I feel sick to my stomach looking at it and refuse to eat. I kick it, and the liquid spills over the hardwood floor.

   I'm starving myself. I hadn't touched a crumb of food in almost two weeks. Alex and his mate want a baby. They don't believe in false insemination. You have to conceive a child the natural way.

Seeing how his mate cannot do that, he had turned to me in hopes of baring his child. I can't do that. Not only would it go against Ryan and I's vows, but I wouldn't be able to just give a baby of mine up so easily.

I refuse to. Rayanne used to tell me all the time I can't conceive if I don't eat enough. Because I'm not healthy enough. So, I refuse to eat. If I do not eat, I can't get pregnant. I can't lose my baby, and I can't let Alex and his mate have a happiness that they stripped from me.

"Alex she won't eat." The voices were muffled outside of my door. I duck into the corner of the room, knowing that someone is going to come in and ask me something. Or tell me something.

They're probably telling me it's time to shower, or that dinner is almost ready. They're letting me walk around the house, but I just refuse to. I don't want to pretend that I'm okay here, because I'm not. Not at all.

"Figure it out, Jewel. I have to be somewhere." Alex snaps. Him and Jewel don't really get along from what I've seen.

The door opens and Jewel is standing there. She doesn't look too happy. Her eyes catch the soup spilled all over the floor ad she frowns.

"You have to eat." She snaps. I simply stare at her with a go to hell look on my face. Her stare was equal right back at me.

"Why?" I croak.

"Your going to kill yourself if you keep this up. That's no that Alex wants you to do at all." She grunts.

"I'm not going to eat." I try to growl but it comes out mustard and dry. I let out a breath and rub my eyes.

"You're going to eat, have this baby and not complain about it!" She snaps. This sent me off. Who is she to tell me how to act? Has she been in this situation before?

"I don't even have a high chance in having another baby." I sneer. "I'm not eating."

"Your lying! Your going to eat weather you like it or not!" She yells, stomping her foot. She turns and slams the door behind her as she angrily walked down the hallway.

I rest the back of my head against the wall and close my eyes. Maybe they'll consider letting me go, or maybe they'll just kill me. That'll be easy.

It's not hard to kill someone who's already dead. Tears fall down my face as I think about my family.

Gloria, Ryan, North, the pack, everything. I want to go home, but I don't think I'll make it back there. Even if I did, would they still want me the way that I want them?

I'm asleep when I'm woken up by suddenly getting jerked to my feet. Two men have me by the arms, I thrash around trying to get free. One squeezes at my arm tighter. I yelp.

I'm going to fight. I kick one of them in the crotch, he drops my arm and fall to the floor in pain. My broken fist collides with the nose of the other guy, I give him a blow to the stomach.

I watch as he doubles over in pain. My heart is beating fast and pain shoots through my hand. I'm going to make this hand useless if I keep it up.

"Bitch." One mumbles, he twists my arms behind my back painfully and pushes me forward. I try to fight, but now they're on their guard in wolf mode.

I can't beat a wolf without my own. They lift me up as we walk down the stairs, drop me back to my feet and shove me forward.

I see Jewel around the corner. She's by a door that leads to the basment. My head shoots around the room. I see Alex, he's standing at the entry way of the house looking completely confused.

I shoot him a look. Begging him to help me out. He's done it once before, but not in a situation like this.

"What the hell are you doing with her?" He snaps, looking straight at Jewel. She crosses her arms over her chest and looks at me.

"She won't eat, so we're going to pump food into her." She says. I gulp, I stop walking and the man holding my arms twists them even more. I cry out, tears fall from my face.

Alex looks me over, he furrows his eyebrows and looks back at Jewel. "Just be easy with her, she's only human now." He says a little softer than before. I'm only human?

I glare at him as they push me forward. I don't fight then anymore. I sort of just stumble when my feet touch the ground. I'm slowly giving up as the days go by. I mean, my wolf already has.

     They strap me to a chair. My arms, legs, even my head is restrained to a minimal movement. Jewel stands in the corner, looks at the two men and tells them what to do. I broke one guy's nose. I can see the dwelling and the little bump where it had moved when he gets close enough to me.

I keep my mouth closed as they try to put a tube in. I spit the food out into one man's face. I'm not going to eat. Suddenly my mouth is being held open by some type of dentist device. I gulp.

They shove the tube down my throat, I gag and can't breath for a second. It scrapes the back of my throat, making it burn and feel uncomfortable. Tears form in my eyes as they turn the pump on and fill my stomach with food.

I'm sorry.