Carrier (TPA2)

35

I appreciate all the prayers, god bless you all (:

Taylor's pov

"Ryan, please.." I beg, "say something. Anything. I can't stand this silence!" I whimper. I look up at him through my tear stained eyes. He's staring at the ground, and a unreadable expression is on his face.

He says nothing. It's absolutely silent. Even the birds do not make their usually happy-go-lucky chirps. The soundlessness is killing me.

Tears fall from my eyes. I'm disgusting. I should have told him already. He wouldn't have had to waste a trip up here to just reject me. That's what he's going to do. I wouldn't blame him. If I were him, I would reject me too.

I had another man's baby. After I had read my vows to Ryan, I went off and did this. He deserves someone better than me. North deserves a better mother. One that isn't me.

"There's nothing to say, Taylor." Ryan says, bluntly. I flinch at how hateful his words are. He doesn't look up at me, but simply looks towards Lucas. They seem to have gotten closer over the period in which I was gone.

"Then, what now?" I croak. I need someone to explain to me what's going to happen. I cannot seem to make any right decisions. Tears sting my eyes, and I blink them away as fast as I can.

"I don't know, Taylor. It's all up to you." He says. He's trying to remain as calm as humanly possible. I swallow. "I'm beyond the description of pissed about the baby. You have North back at home, and you don't can't even make a simple phone call? I came here to get you, and bring you back home. You're alive, well, and I can finally see you with my own two eyes again. I'm extremely grateful for that." He pauses. "I still want you to come back home with me, and for you to be with North and I, but the decision is all up to you. I will never force anything on you." He says, calmly. How the hell is he being so calm?

I can't breath. My lungs feel as if they're collapsing. The only eyes I feel on me, are Ryan's. I desperately want to go home with him. Yet, I also want to stay here with Alexi too. My heart seems to tear in two.

Never have I had to make a decision like this. I've always just pushed this problem into the back of my mind until the day comes. Today, is that day though. I'm not prepared. I cannot be at two places at once.

My hands shake, and my eyes falls to the floor. My breathing is heavy, and it seems to have gotten hotter outside since this has started happening.

"I-I don't know." I whimper. I cannot make up my mind. The tears pour from my eyes like they're a waterfall. I hate it. I hate myself.

Ryan's lips part. It should have been an easy answer. I should have chose him and North. It isn't that easy though. As much as I wished it was, it isn't.

"Go home with him, Mama." The sound of the voice makes me break eye contact with Ryan. Alex is still holding his bloody nose, and he let's out a breath. I furrow my eyebrows. Alex had already told me that he won't keep me from going home. In fact, he would enforce it. I just didn't expect him to say anything at all during a time like this.

"But- Alexi." I whimper. I don't want to leave my baby. I can't. I've already left one, I don't want to lose another one.

"Alexi will be fine here, with me. You've got a daughter back home. She needs you more than anything." He ushers. My heart pounds in my chest.

I look down at my feet. I'm ashamed. I shouldn't even be in a situation like this. I should have fought harder when I first got here. Ryan should be furious at me, but instead he still wants me around. I let out a breath, followed by the whimper of my wolf. She doesn't even know what to do. Nothing had prepared her for something like this.

"Ryan," I whimper his name. In seconds he has me against his chest, holding me as if I'm air, and he can't breathe. His head is buried in my neck, and my arms wrap around his.

"Please come home with me. To North. " he whispers into my hair. Tears drain from my eyes. By now, I should have used them all up. It seems they've been bottled for this very moment for too long.

"I love you, but I don't know what to do."

This chapter is so short, I'm sorry :( do you guys think Ryan should have acted different, or did he act good considering everything going on with Taylor's emotions right now? What about Alex, and how he told Taylor to go? What do you guys think?!?