Carrier (TPA2)

20

                              Ryan's pov

     I eventually leave the dock. Nothing has left my mind, but I've still got things that I'm required to do. I keep trying to distract myself from Taylor, but it doesn't work. Everything reminds me of her. I cannot remember a time that I hadn't thought about her. She's everywhere, and yet no where. It's like she's invisible and she's mocking me.

  I pull into Peyton's home. It's small. I can completely understand why. She lives alone. She had offered coffee earlier, and I had decided if rather stay in and drink it. I am in now way, shape nor form to be out in public. My blood pressure is high, and my mind isn't really with me. I'm on the brink of insanity, as of right now.
   
Peyton tugs the front door open moments after I've knocked. She has a smile on her face, but it falls when she sees my expression. "Have you been crying?" Hello to you, too. She steps out of the way and let's me inside.

I hadn't been to her home in quite some time. Usually I'd just find her around the pack house. Her house smells of coffee brewing, and yet a hint of lavender slips through my nostrils. "It doesn't matter, Peyton." I snap. My nerves are shot and I'm on a lack of sleep. I really don't want to be anywhere but by myself.

"Okay, yeah. You're absolutely right. Coffee?" She offers, slipping past me and towards the kitchen. What the hell is she wearing?  Her outfit is a t-shirt dress. More like an extremely large shirt. It looks as if she forgot to put on pants this morning. I scoff and simply follow after her.

"How was training?" She pours a mug of coffee and hands it to me. I clench my jaw and look at the black liquid. "Stressful." I lied. She should already know that I missed.  I don't know why she invited me for coffee. I don't even know why I showed up. There's this void inside me that only seems to get filled when I actually do things for others. It really gets my mind off of things, even if it's only for a little while.

"I didn't go," I push myself to tell the truth. Everyone already knows, and I won't keep obvious things from someone. "I had too much on my mind, that even working out couldn't take away." I shrug.

Peyton furrows her eyebrows. I hadn't told very many people in the pack about my phone call with Taylor, other than the skilled members who could track her and help me get to her. I cannot let the pack know that I've talked to Taylor and still haven't gotten her back. An alpha is supposed to be the hero.

"I can help you take your mind off things." Peyton offers. I take a sip of my coffee and turn away from her. Pathetic excuse to try and get me. I'm furious now. That's what's she's been thinking of me! Is she trying to replace Taylor with herself?

"You've got to be kidding me." I grumble. I feel her small hands warp around my lower stomach from behind and touch the hem of my jeans. I'm quick to react.

I have my hand against her throat and her head hits the wall harshly. She let's out a groan and scratches at my hand trying to get me to release. "Don't touch me like that, Peyton." I sneer. Her face is becoming pale and her eyes are becoming distant. I let her go, and she takes in a large gasp of air.

She exaggerates how I had grabbed her and holds a hand against her neck. It serves her right. How dare she try that on me? We had a past. The past isn't now. I have a mate, a wife, and a child. I don't want her.

"I was just trying to help." She scoffs. Clearly, she doesn't like to get told no. It's a trait she's had since she was young.

"Your definition of help is something far from mine." I snap. I have to remain calm. I cannot hurt her. I force my wolf down. I'm saving hurting anyone until the day I find the bastards that have Taylor.

"I thought maybe you needed to just get away for awhile and get a little distracted." She argues. She's pushing me. I try to stay calm.

"No." I snap. Peyton runs a finger over my chest and I let out a breath. If I snatch her hand away I may break it. I'm pissed. My nostrils flare.

"You and I both know that it's a real distraction. Sex has always been a big deal for you! I know you haven't been touched in at least a year! Just let me help you relieve some of the stress." She offers. It's tempting. Sex is a great distraction. It gives off a sense of high that seems to last for forever.

I cross my arms over my chest. "Fine." I agree. It's wrong, but I have to numb the pain somehow. Peyton furrows her eyebrows and looks at me as if in stupid.

"What?" She croaks. I have in too easily. "Fine. Take off your clothes." I sneer. My eyes grow darker, and when she continues to look at me as if in stupid, I hold my hand against her throat and place a hand on her thigh.

"Did I stutter?" I sneer. She gave me permission, I didn't tell her I'd be nice of gentle.

"No, alpha." She utters, pulling the fabric off her body and tossing it onto the floor. She grips my face and leans in to kiss me.

"Don't you dare touch my mark." I snap, lifting her frail body over my shoulder and heading to her bedroom.

She sits on me. I grab onto her hips as they collide with my own. She cries out. Peyton is too thin. Her hips are small, and hard to grip. Taylor's were perfect. She had always been so nervous being naked I front of me, and self conscious about her weight. I liked her hips, that I could grab onto. She even had a butt that would jiggle when I hit it. Peyton is nothing compared to Taylor.

Her nails dig into me as she reaches her high. I cannot help but join her, and push her off me as quick as I can. Taylor is in my head. I feel sick. I regret doing what I had done with Peyton.

I tug my pants on and Peyton whines in protest. "Where are you going?" She sounds upset.

"Home. I'm not your fucking boyfriend."

I think that I'll have the next chapter as Ryan's pov too, and then go back to Taylor in chapter 22 (: