Carrier (TPA2)

5:

   Four weeks after:

        I don't wake up to someone bringing me food, or even them telling me that it's time I wake up. I wake up at two in the morning, sicker than I've felt in a long time.

I jump out of bed, run down the hallway into the bathroom and expel the contents in my stomach into the toilet. The bathroom light isn't even on. I drop to my knees, my eyes watering without an end.

I'm crying and the burn in my throat is more than just subtle. My stomach feels like it's in a acrobatic show, constantly twisting and turning. I groan, hold onto the rim of the toilet and sit there until my stomach is empty.

I gag, hunch over the toilet. A warm hand is on my back, the other is keeping my hair out of my face.

I sit there, wipe my mouth with my sleeve and let out a little whimper. I stand, turn towards Alex and my lip quivers.

He let's out a breath, wraps his arms around my tiny body and rests his head on top of mine. I cry into his chest.

I know I made him a promise, but I didn't really want to fall pregnant because of him. I cry because I'm terrified, afraid I'll have to go through this alone. Most of all, I cry because he's not Ryan, and this isn't the life I chose to live.

If Alex wasn't holding me as tight as he was, I would have fallen to my knees. I cannot stand. My heart feels like it has shattered in a million pieces.

"It's alright," he whispers softly, "I know this isn't what you want, but I promise that you'll be okay." He breaths into my hair. I shake my head. I don't believe anything he says.

Alex picks me up, holds me as if I'm an infant. I don't look where he's taking me, all I can see is a blur of tears and walls. All I can do is cry. There's so many emotions going on in my mind.

My body aches, I feel like I've just thrown up my insides. I don't know how to feel about the news that has come. Should I be at least a little happy, that I'm one step closer to getting home to Ryan and North?

I sniffle, I can feel him lay me down on a bed. My eyes are heavy, and I can't breath from how hard I'm crying.

I look at the clock, four fifty. I close my eyes and continue to cry. I don't even think there's anymore tears coming out. I feel the bed sink in next to me, arms wrap themselves around my body.

I can hear his heartbeat next to my ear. I try to pull away from him but it doesn't happen like that. When I struggle he only holds me tighter.

As much as I hate to admit it, I needed a hug. Even if it's from him. Eventually I calm down, I close my eyes and keep my head close to his heart.

"You won't do this anymore, after me, right?" I ask. I feel his finger rub circles into my skin.

"Do what?" His voice is a little over a whisper. My fingers curl against his chest and I let out a breath. I want to run from him but the way he's holding me down is keeping me from doing so.

"You can't just go around buying women, Alex. Their not some kind of property you can just spend money on and call it yours." I say, "you can't do this to anyone else. You can't let them get stripped of everything that they love." I say softly. I don't want to make him angry.

"I won't buy anymore." He says close to my ear. I listen to his heart beating. It eases me.

"Please go to sleep, Taylor. We'll talk tomorrow." He mumbles. I nod my head, sit up and am stopped before I can leave his room.

"Just sleep in here. I need to know if you wake up again tonight, and you'll sleep better." He says. I simply look at him, lay back down and face away from him.

I'm almost asleep when his arm wraps around my body and pulls me against his chest.