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        England seems to have changed completely since the last time I've been here

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        England seems to have changed completely since the last time I've been here. It's once dull seeming cities are chalked full of happy people. Maybe then, I just didn't notice all the business. It was once gloomy.

  Everything seems to have been replaced once I've gotten out of here, and gotten back on my feet. Ryan, North and I had just gotten picked up by a taxi and are on our way to Alex's home. It frightens me.

I know that I will be going back to America. I also know that I'll have to leave Alexi behind yet again. It's heart breaking to still have the constant reminder that I can't live both lives as each of their mothers at once. If that makes any sense at all.

  My heart races as we drive down a street I had been on one too many times in the past. There's the little coffee shop that I had gone to. I walked on that same sidewalk, telling myself how big of a piece of shit I was.

I see a building I had been in. So many deep conversations had happened inside of it. It's large letters advertising it's pizza hit me straight in the chest. I search for Ryan's hand and intertwine our fingers. He gives me an reassuring squeeze and brings my hand to his lips.

"Alexi." He reminds me that the only reason I'm going back is to see the child I had carried for nine months. The one that has caused me so much heart break, but I can't keep out of my mind and heart. I've got an undying love to Alexi, and no amount of hurt can change that.

I nod my head and let out a slow breath. It goes quiet for awhile, before Ryan wraps his arms around me and pulls me to his chest.

"Your heart is beating fast." I mumble, shutting my eyes, listening to the quick beating. It sounds as if it were to go any fast it's just explode. Ryan buries his head into my neck and sighs.

"I'm terrified of losing you." He admits. I knot my eyebrows together. Losing me? I hold him close and let out a soft breath.

"Fat chance, Alpha. You're mine." I grin. Ryan laughs against the skin of my neck and shakes his head.

He gives me a quick kiss and I laugh lightly. North had fallen asleep on the way here. I'll let Ryan be the one to wake her up from such a great sleep.

We take a left, and instantly the smile on my face fades. I know this road all too well. Alex used to drive down it every time we went out for a doctor's appointment and when we would go out to eat. Wave after wave of fear wash over me because I'm afraid I might not be able to go back home. What if I get stuck here again?

I swallow roughly. My nails dig into my thighs as the woods surround the car at all sides. It's like it's swallowing me whole. It's taking me back to the memories that had kept me away from Ryan and North for so long.

Ryan grips my hands and takes me off guard. I gasp, terrified to have been jerked from my thoughts so suddenly. "Taylor?" He whispers my name. My eyes slowly raise to meet his.

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