My Version of Love

Chapter 33: The Secrets

Hey guys ! Another update!! Just a short A/N: Please do not hit me after reading this chapter :p
Enjoy!
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Chapter 33: The Secrets

It was midnight when I received a call from Abhimanyu that his plane had landed in Barcelona, I told him the address of the hotel I was staying in and he told me he'd be there as soon as he could. I called the reception to tell them to send my visitor straight in my room.
It was ten minutes to 1 when the bell of my room rang and I rushed to open the door. Abhimanyu was on a wheelchair with a porter who had his suitcase and crutches. I opened the door for them to enter. I helped Abhimanyu on the bed and the porter took the wheelchair with him.
"You should rest, you must be tiered from the flight" I told Abhimanyu softly as the porter left.
"I'm not here to rest Aru, I'm here to tell you something you deserved to know a long time ago" Abhimanyu said firmly.
"Abhi, its 1 am and I have a hectic day tomorrow, I have to sleep" I said weakly and turned away from him.
"You don't sleep Ariana and don't hide it, I already know" Abhimanyu said angrily and I looked at him with wide eyes.
"It's ridiculous Abhi. Who doesn't sleep, of course I sleep and I am going to sleep" I told him firmly trying to hide the truth.
"Ariana" Abhimanyu said sternly and I sighed and sat beside him on the other side of the bed.
"Yes, I don't sleep, I can't when those nightmares haunt me every time I close my eyes" I confessed.
"Why didn't you tell me or your mom or anybody?" He asked but I kept quiet. "I met our therapist on the airport, she told me about this. Ariana, she said it's been years since you saw her, even she was worried about you, why are you doing this damn it?" Abhimanyu asked me as he ran his hand through his hair.
"I'm sorry Abhi, therapy was not helping me, and the nightmares still haunted me. It wasn't getting better when you went with me, but I still went to accompany you, when you stopped I did too, there was no use of seeing her when I was still having nightmares" I told him.
"It's alright Aru, we'll find a way. Right now I have to tell you something, I have to let myself off with this guilt of not telling you everything before when I could" Abhimanyu pleaded.
"What did you hide from me and how could you say that Adreyan is Reyan when you didn't even meet him or talked to him?" I asked him.
"Listen to me very carefully and don't stop me" He said and I nodded, he took a deep breath and continued, "Reyan was with us when our car crashed" Abhimanyu said and my eyes widened. "We three were there in the car, Reyan was sitting at the back while I was driving and Aditi was sitting next to me" Abhimanyu told me.
"He was badly hurt, his head hit the ceiling of the car and the shards of glass from the window entered his head. His left hand was majorly fractured and so were his ribs. He was the first one to go into surgery which was in another wing. Reyan's mom was hysterical and she refused to let anyone meet him or go near him, it was only Nikhil she allowed, not even Riya or any of our parents. Nikhil wanted to tell you but your dad stopped him, he said you would do anything to meet him and it would hurt Reyan's mom which nobody's intention. Everyone was trying to keep you out of the hospital as much as they could, there was no response from Reyan and we thought he would too go in coma but he woke up. Nikhil was going to call you and tell you but something happened that we never thought of" Abhimanyu paused and I couldn't move.
My Reyan was in pain and I didn't know it. Yes he broke up with me but that didn't mean I didn't love him anymore.
When I didn't say anything, Abhimanyu continued, "Reyan lost his memory, all of it initially, he didn't remember his mother or Nikhil or even his name but then after a few weeks only a part of his memory revived. He remembered the first 13 years of his life which meant he only recognized his mother" Abhimanyu told me and I was confused.
"How could he only remember his mom? Nikhil is his brother too, then why not him?" I asked Abhimanyu and he sighed.
"I should not be telling you this Aru, its Reyan's secret to tell but I have to or you won't understand the whole story. Reyan did not recognize Nikhil because he didn't meet him until Reyan was 15. Reyan's mom divorced his biological father leading her to join therapy where she met Nikhil's late uncle Raj who was her therapist; they fell in love and got married. Reyan accepted Raj Uncle as his father and they came to India." Abhimanyu explained and I frowned.
"What do you mean by 'they came to India'? Where did they live before that?" I asked him.
"Valencia" Abhimanyu answered and I gasped. "He was born and raised in Spain, he came to India when he was 15 and learnt how to live here with Nikhil and his dad's help. He was good with languages so he never dealt with any problems with learning Hindi as well as other languages and speaking it" Abhimanyu said with a sorry smile.
"Why didn't he tell me?" I asked a bit loudly.
"Reyan changed his identity Aru, he didn't want to do anything with his past and his parents felt it was for the best. Adreyan changed to Reyan for a reason. I don't know why, Nikhil too didn't and Reyan never told any of us. When his mother said that she will take Reyan back we thought she would take him back to Valencia, but she didn't. Instead, they went to Amsterdam where her sister lived; I had no idea they came back here. If I knew I would have told you before. I had no information of Reyan after they left, neither did Nikhil. His mom never contacted anyone and we didn't know how to reach her" Abhimanyu gave a frustrated groan and I sat there with my mouth open. No words came to me and warm tears threatened to escape my eyes.
All these years Reyan was in pain, all these years he didn't know who he was. For four years, he would have lived fighting with himself, trying to remember everything he ever forgot, connecting pieces to his existence, he must be so lonely all these years. Was he searching for me? Did he know if I even existed? Did he even feel like he missed me? But why would he miss me, he broke up with me and I won't ever know why. Then it struck me.
"Abhi" I said coming out of my thoughts.
"Yeah?" He asked hesitantly.
"Why were you all in Bangalore anyways? Riya did tell me you all wanted to give me a surprise but why was Reyan's mother, Aditi's parents, your dad, my parents even all my friends in Bangalore and why were you in the car with Reyan?" I asked him.
Abhimanyu looked as if he was fighting with himself to tell me something. Did I ask the wrong question?
"Abhi...why?" I asked carefully and Abhimanyu released a sigh.
"He...Reyan was going to..." Abhimanyu hesitated, was he going to break my heart in front of everyone? No, not if he wanted to die first. But why was Reyan with Abhimanyu and Aditi in their car?
"Say it Abhimanyu I want to know why, I deserve to know why" I said firmly.
"Reyan was going to propose you Aru" Abhimanyu finally said and all the tears I skillfully controlled flowed out of my eyes.
"He was what?" I asked suppressing a sob.
"Reyan asked your parent's permission a week before our accident. He told us to fly to Bangalore by 22nd. He set everything up, the venue, the decoration. He took a leave from work on 23rd so he could arrange for everything. It was his plan to shock you first with saying that he didn't want you, I told him it wasn't a good idea and it would hurt you a lot, until he told me what he wanted to tell you" Abhimanyu paused watching my expression carefully. I was feeling everything at that time, anger, pain, happiness. All the emotions I buried inside me were coming out in the form of tears.
When I didn't say anything, Abhimanyu continued, "Reyan said he wanted to make you cry before he promises you to make you happy forever. He said he won't let even an ounce of sadness near you, that he wanted you should cry all at once and dry up every tear you had because he won't let you cry ever...I am so sorry Aru...I wish I could turn the time...but he left it incomplete and everyone thought it would be for the best to keep you in dark so that you move on and live your life because according to the doctors Reyan's memories were gone for god knows when. We couldn't bear to see you in pain if you saw him not remembering you. I am so sorry Aru, every time I saw you I wanted to gather up the courage and tell you and not caring what everyone said. Even Riya and Nikhil wanted to before they shifted. This was one of the reasons they left Aru, Riya couldn't see you like this, she would cry a lot and she was pregnant so Nikhil decided to leave for her and the child's sake. Every time we saw you cold and distant, each and every one of us felt the guilt of hiding the truth from you" Abhimanyu revealed as he put a hand on my shoulder.
For a minute I froze, he never wanted to leave me; he was going to propose me. Reyan was going to ask me for marriage. He wanted me to be his wife. He wanted a future with me. He didn't play all along just to bed me. He planned this a week before we slept together. He loved me and I doubted him. He loved me.
"He loved me" I spoke aloud looking at Abhimanyu.
"He did Aru, he loved you very much. He even bought the ring, it was with him when you guys went to Goa but he didn't propose you, he didn't ask your parents at that time and he thought it would be wrong to ask you and then your parents. He did ask them two weeks before the accident when he was sure he could take care of you" Abhimanyu paused for a while. "He asked me to go and fetch you on that day when he was going to propose you, I had to drop him and Aditi at the venue and come to you but..."Abhimanyu said and I saw his eyes brimming with tears. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him as I cried with him.
"I am sorry Aru. I am so sorry. I can't even feel half of what you would have all these years. I still see Aditi every day, but you didn't see him for years and how you controlled yourself in front of him when Reyan didn't recognize you? I am so sorry" Abhimanyu whispered in my ears and I sobbed.
"It's alright Abhi. You did what you thought was right, don't blame yourself. Nothing was your fault, not the accident, not losing your legs for such a long time, not Reyan's memory loss, not Aditi's comatose and not my shutting everyone off" I told him.
"Thank you Aru, you have no idea how light I feel after I told you this. I couldn't help but blame myself. I had been more careful you would be..." He was saying but I pulled away and stopped him.
"Abhi I have told you this before. It wasn't your fault, the driver was drunk and was rashly driving, and you just tried to get out of the way. It's not your fault, stop punishing yourself" I told him seriously as I wiped his tears and Abhimanyu smiled. "Sleep now. I don't want you to faint like me" I said and his smile dropped.
"What did you say? You fainted?" He asked worriedly and I told him what happened, adding Reyan's finger clenching part. "Aru, I don't know what to say. It's Reyan's wedding you are planning, I don't know how can I help you with this" Abhimanyu said again messing up with his hair.
"Abhi relax. I'm here now, I'll bring back his memories, and didn't you hear me when I told you he tensed up when Kai kissed my forehead? He will remember me and everything else very soon" I said with hope and Abhimanyu shook his head.
"Aru, the doctors specifically told us not to pressurize him remembering anything, it could lead to being fatal for him, his brain was weak from the damage, that was the reason we let his mom take him back. I don't know about now but I think he's still weak, the accident was pretty bad" Abhimanyu said I felt every hope in my body die then and there and the tears returned.
"I understand" I said with a sniffle. "I guess I have to plan this wedding then, if he found his happiness, it's the best if I don't take it away from him. I'll tell mom that I'll meet all the guys she wanted me to after I wrap up this wedding. If Reyan is happy with someone else, I should move on too and make the people who love me happy" I said turning away from Abhimanyu.
"Ariana what are you saying? They want you to be happy, you are wrong if you think you'll marry someone to make others happy" Abhimanyu argued but I got off the bed.
"Go to sleep Abhimanyu, you need it" I told him.
"Ariana..." He tried to argue but I shook my head.
"Its's better if I go out and clear my head, I'll be back soon" I said and he nodded.
I walked towards the door and as I twisted the knob Abhimanyu called me and I turned to him.
"Your happiness matters Ariana" Abhimanyu whispered and I turned the knob and left the room.
I walked out of the lobby without caring about the fact that I was wearing no makeup and was in a plain satin nightgown and an excuse of a robe on it with just slippers on. I just walked fast as each and every word Abhimanyu told me hit me like thunder. My feet stopped as I reached the back of the resort from where there was the way to the private beach. I walked towards the peaceful looking beach; I walked till I found big rocks a bit far off the shore and sat down on them.
I thought about what Abhimanyu revealed, and I realized that everyone did behave weirdly when I came to the hospital; yes they desperately wanted to me to move on from Reyan but I grew colder and distant every day. Why would mom lie to me? No, she never lied; she always wanted me to be happy. Hridhaan lied to me, Riya lied to me, even my friends, hell, Mehr lied to me. Why would they do such a thing? I remember all my friends were there when I came to the hospital the next day of the accident and they were not even that close to Abhimanyu or Aditi and I wondered why I never thought about these things before.
I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to go to Reyan and tell him that I am the love of his life, not Esmeralda whom he's marrying. There were so many things I wanted to do but I couldn't.
But there was one thing I could do and that was move on finally, I could move on when I see Reyan happy with someone else. I could move on after I've realized that fate never wanted us together, that's why it took Reyan away from me, fate never wanted us together that is why Reyan found his love, his aim and his happiness.
I couldn't help but feel proud of him on what he achieved. I couldn't help but feel happy that my Reyan is capable of doing so much in life, he is truly talented and it all happened because he went away from me...
"Ms. Mathur?" I was pulled out of my thoughts and I turned to see who called me. My heart beat accelerated when I saw him standing a bit farther away from me. Reyan was wearing sweat pants and a V-neck t-shirt which showed a bit of his strong chest, he looked even better than he did four years ago and I thought that was impossible. I gulped and nodded.
"It's me" I said choking a sob.
He walked towards me and I turned away wiping the signs of tears, I closed my eyes and prayed that I could talk to him without shedding a tear.
"What are you doing here, sir?" I asked looking up to him casually when he stood next to where I was sitting.
"May I?" He asked me motioning if he could sit and I nodded, shifting a bit. It was no use, as his arm brushed with mine when he sat down next to me; I felt the similar static which I was deprived for so long. "To answer your question, this is practically my beach so I can come here whenever I want to" He said arrogantly and I wanted to laugh. Reyan could never be arrogant, never. Why was he even trying? Or was he?
"I beg your pardon then, sir, I must be trespassing" I said in a formal tone, not looking at him.
"You are a guest Ms. Mathur, obviously you are not trespassing" He said but I did not reply. "May I ask you why you are here?" He asked and I looked at him. His voice didn't seem as accented as the others.
"I couldn't sleep" I said and looked at the bright shining moon in the sky.
"Is there any problems with the room Ms. Mathur? Do you want to change the room?" He asked me and I wanted to hit him, why was he being so formal?
"No sir, there are no issues with the room, just some sleeping problems. The rooms are very cozy, thank you" I told him without explaining.
"Can I help?" He asked and I looked at him with surprise. "I mean, is it anything I can help you with, shall I call a doctor or any medicine you need?" He corrected himself as if realizing what he said.
"I am fine thank you, Mr. Valdez. May I ask the reason you are here for?" I asked him trying to have a normal talk but I was dying to know if he was in pain and I could help.
"I was on an important call when..." He started to say but stopped. "I don't need to explain my actions to you Ms. Mathur, as I said it's my beach, my hotel, I could do anything I want" He said rudely but I nodded and internally sighed with relief.
"I am sorry to intrude, I should leave then" I said and started to get up feeling hurt from what he said.
"You can stay Ms. Mathur, you are not intruding anything" He said and I stopped and sat down again, I wanted to stay a bit more with him, even when he was behaving like he was...he wasn't my Reyan.
I wrapped my hands around myself as the cool breeze hit me but I refused to leave even if I was cold, enjoying the comforting silence between us as I stared at the ocean which looked breathtaking in the bright moonlight.
"I must say Mr. Valdez; you chose an amazing place for this resort. The view is beautiful" I said looking at him, again trying to talk normally with him.
"It is. Gracias, Ms. Mathur" He said not even looking at me.
"Beinvenido, Senor Valdez" I said as I looked back at the sea.
"You speak Spanish, great to see that you made an effort" He said with surprise and I felt myself riling up. Enough of his rudeness, nobody talks to me like that.
"I plan international weddings Mr. Valdez, it's fair if I know some of the languages and yes we make an effort to make our clients feel at ease with us. We don't just plan weddings Mr. Valdez, we make relations to last a lifetime and we do what it takes for that, even learning some more languages and that's what makes us the best" I as calmly as I could. "And I think I should leave now, you clearly don't want me here on your beach and I have stayed longer than I was welcomed. Sorry for the intrusion in your peace, sir and a very good night to you Mr. Valdez" I said politely standing up and leaving the beach not even looking at him or waiting for him to reply.
I walked away from him, even though it killed me but I did. I didn't turn to see his reaction because I knew the fact that whatever my heart believed, this was not my Reyan.
No, this was Adreyan Alejandro Valdez and he could never be my Reyan and the mere thought of that made my eyes water again.
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Until next time...