➳ Oh, Well Imagine Marvel➳ FINISHED

Darkness•Bucky

You're there, you're always there. Lost. Lonely. Forgotten. Hopeless. I miss you like a hurricane misses the wind that whips it into creation. Each drop of poison dripping through my veins, each scale that falls off my heart, and each light that passes over your face – every reminder of you is something that I will not release from the clutches of my hand. You were with me before, yet we never touched paths. You were just an idea then, nothing, not even a speck in the minds of those who came before you. You are with me now but I can't see you in the dark. The silence permeates me with its presence and the absence of my own heartbeats is the only sign that I have surrendered to the clutches of nothingness. Bring me back my hope, my love... but I fear bringing me back to reality is impossibly now. I'm not redeemable

Not this monster, not this curse. This was never my intent. I became a soldier, a weapon of war, a weapon of the masses to be pointed and aimed. Fired into the crowds only to watch so many fall beneath the power I can't control. I was given no aid, no help, and I have no control left. I look at your face and you refused to fight me. Refused to stop the one thing that was threatening to destroy all that we once held dear and I couldn't stop myself anymore. Your gun is pointed but you don't fire. Finger on the trigger and yet you don't end me. Anger, Hatred, Rage, Pain, Death, Death, so much death in my story that I could not bear to stand what my past held anymore. My mind is torn asunder, my heart is ripped to shreds, and yet I remember you so clearly in the light of what is left of my soul. I remember what I stood for, what I held in high esteem. What I was fighting against then was what I still hold up on a pedestal now. But pedestals can crumble and ashes can be blown away.

Life, hope, peace, truth, honestly, justice, loyalty, compassion, honor, love. Do these mean anything to me anymore? Had I become something so heartless that nothing could penetrate my darkness to reach the layer beneath me that still held my dreams trapped in iron wrought cages. Where is the key? There is no one that I know who can save me from myself but you. Only you can end this monster and yet... this curse can't be broken. Your eyes beg for me not to make you do this. They shine with tears unshed. You were always my weakness... and you are the only one who can touch me now. I can't make you stop me. It would destroy you as well. So in that moment, I am my own undoing. My hands move swiftly and for the first time in what seemed like forever it obeyed me. Blood drips down into my sight before I fall. Darkness is nothing but a welcoming embrace and your hands rush forward to capture mine in those moments. Your warmth is all I sense, all I care for, and all I once believed to be right... I still believe it is right. The haze is clearing even as the fog is descends. Darkness wraps around my body, its touch not nearly as warm as your hand and your touch. Darkness descends upon my heart that had sweltered from evil that I had not ever wished to foster there. Even as the evil dissipates, so does darkness take hold of my soul in its place. I am no longer the prisoner I thought I would forever be.

I am no longer your enemy. I am simply a memory to be looked upon with sadness, a gravestone in the ground and a body lying prone.  All my legacy, all the good I may have done is ruined in the wake of what I have become. I was once known to be the savior of all. I was shown to be good, to be the victor of the human race but look at me now, fallen so far into corruption that you would hardly recognize my soul from the devil itself. Every decision I made, every action I took began to eat away at the reality of my existence. The image that I portrayed as a healer, as a savior, as a hero began to morph into something that people told nightmares of. I never thought I would be my own undoing... but I had to do this. But this was the only way to save myself... and to save you. You were always worth saving. You didn't deserve having to watch me corrupt. You didn't deserve it any more than you deserved having to facing me down like the enemies we used to save worlds from. This was the only way to save you... and to save what was left of my soul.

I am finally set free from these cages that I've lived in for what felt like eons. I found the key though the means it took to gain my freedom came at to high of a cost. I've freed myself from these bars only to be swept away by the reaper. My last sight is your face, your tears, your grief before the darkness and I are one. Before, there was your hand on my arm and you shaking my body to wake up, wake up, wake up. Now there is only quiet. There are no tears falling on my face anymore. But you are not gone from my sight even as darkness whisks me away... to where, I know not. You are with me just as before. I carry you with me like a perfume on my skin, a light in the darkness. I left my soul with you. I hope you'll keep it until you can return it to me.