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He left you. He left you because he didn't want to put you in danger and you agreed to leave because he wasn't committed in the relationship.
You still loved him. You didn't ever stop but apparently the feelings were one sided. It hurt a lot. When Matt told you he was leaving, he at least had the decency to break up in person. And until then you didn't know what heartbreak felt like. You didn't believe people when they said it really hurt, until it was you. Lying on your bedroom floor with mascara running down your face, gasping for air and crying.
Today was a day where you stayed inside and cried about your lost love.
"Don't say you've never killed anyone because you did. Because that night you killed me. You left in peace but left me in pieces." You cried out into the thick air
It was cold in your room, a numbing cold that seeped into your bones and traveled throughout your body. You were under a thin quilt and wearing a f/c sweatshirt and leggings. You didn't shiver despite the fact that it was about 35 degrees in your room.
"It was exhausting the way I loved you. I threw every ounce of myself into it. I dived head first at your heart, but just as I should have hit the water I hit a brick wall. Where a splash should have been there was a scream. Your guard was up and I was left battered and bruised with a heavy heart and even an heavier loss. Yet I kept trying because you weren't just a star to me. You were my whole damn sky. The day you broke up with me was the day the moon split in half, the stars crumbled, falling like fireworks into the sea. That was the day I watched my whole life fall apart." You sobbed and your shoulders shook along with your body.
You were numb, Filled with novocaine. Everything was blacked out except your heart. Your heart that still beat rapidly when you thought of Matt because of the fact that you love him even through the pain he inflicted on you. Your body was hollow with a fast beating heart. It was all you heard, the faint echo of the thump.
"I'm not even a whisper in your thoughts yet you're screaming in mine because I want to be with you, as simple and complicated as that"
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