You're Kind Of Insane

29.Vic

I woke up with a headache from crying so much. It was three in the morning. Suddenly I got chills. My wrists felt itchy. I couldn't breathe. I started to sob. I had picked up my old habit of cutting again. It made me upset to know that the only relief I had was to hurt myself. I shut up and walked to the bathroom. I was hurting myself because if I drank, it would jack up my inner body and there's so fixing that. All scars heal. Six cuts later I was satisfied. My bathroom floor was covered in blood, but I didn't care. I called Ana. She didn't answer.

Mike called me. I picked it up reluctantly. "What?" I asked miserably. "I'm coming over and you're not stopping me this time." He said. Before he could hang up I quickly yelled "Not if I kill myself first!" But, no. Mike and the guys walked in the door. I sighed and walked into my room. I laid under the covers as they followed me.

Five minutes later I was sobbing into Mike's neck in the back of Tony's truck. "I-I just miss her so much," I cried. "Fuck her, dude! She doesn't deserve you. She's an asshole." Jaime said. "Don't talk about her like that!" I screeched at him. His eyes widened as his hands went up in defense.

~

I headed back to my apartment. I had to clean up my mess in the bathroom. I screamed bloody murder. There lay Ana's lifeless body on my bathroom floor. Her throat was cut from ear to ear. There were three empty bottles of pills on the floor. Her eyes were grey-er than usual. I screamed and instantly dropped to my knees. "Ana. Ana, no. Ana, please! Ana!!" I held her head in my hands and brushed my thumbs over her makeup-stained cheeks. There was a note in her hand. I snatched it and read it aloud.

"I found Vic's suicide note. I didn't want to live with myself. I caused his pain. I'm a terrible person."

I had then remembered my failed suicide attempt. I forgot to dispose of the note.

"Oh, Anarchy. You're so selfish."