Without You

Chapter 35

Allison's Calendar is above or on the side or however you see the picture attachments.

•-•-•-•-•

I lay there looking at the white ceiling. Now why is everything white in hospitals? White floors, white ceilings, white walls, heck even white blankets. Why not have bright colors? I wonder if bright colors make people happier. I know they make me happy. Yellows are nice and blues, much better than plain white.

I hear someone open the door and then running. Into my vision runs Jake. He has dark circles under his eyes, his hair is messy, he just looks over all tired. He elopes me in a hug before I could say anything.

"Allison. Don't ever do that again?" He whispers into my hair.

"Do what?" I had the guts to say.

He pulls away and looks at me in the eye, an intimidating stare, a stare that makes me want to squirm, a stare that makes me want to punch him in the face. "Run away? Tell me you were in a hospital and then not respond to my calls for days? Make me drive to Montreal only to find out you ran away? To hear from Wesley, that there was a fight involving you at Hunter's house? To get the phone call that my barn was on fire and you were in the hospital again? How about you don't do that again." He yells.

"Jake, listen, first please don't yell and second, I have had a rough past and you should know that, why else am I sleeping on the floor in your room? I have had a history of hurting people, not on purpose, and no I'm not mentally unstable." I pause and mutter, "Yet." under my breath. "I hurt people Jake and you are getting attached to me. You are getting too close to me. I just don't want to hurt you." I whisper the last sentence. I feel like this is all I have said for the past week.

"Allison you can't hurt me. You are just scared of commitment. That's it. You are scared to commit to anything. You don't what to-"

"Hell yeah I'm scared of commitment. I scared not for myself, I'm not scared that I will get hurt, I'm scared I will hurt you. Jake you don't know my past-"

"Then tell me your fucking past and I can help you."

"It's not that easy, Mr. I Have A Perfect Life And No Secrets. I can't trust people because then they get closer and then we are back in square 1 getting hurt. Don't say you can help me, I am beyond help at this point."

"Don't fucking say I have a perfect life no one has a perfect life. I sure as hell don't, my dad is fucking dead and you want to know why? Because I sent him to the store to get me Swedish fish when he should have been with his wife who was having a baby. I kil-"

"No. No you didn't. You didn't know that he would get in a car accident and you didn't force him to go. You weren't in the car. You didn't make him do anything."

We sat in awkward silence thinking about out conversation.

"You are right."

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"Say you didn't kill him."

"I didn't kill my dad."

"Say it again. Say it like you mean it."

"I did not kill my dad."

"Again."

"I didn't kill my dad."