Coffee Stains (Discovery of Love)

Coffee Stains-Prologue

{Prologue}

~2 years ago~

"What's this red stain on your shirt?" my mother asks, her eyebrows furrowed.  I look away from the television and look at her, who has my father's work shirt in her hands.

"Red stain?" My father looks up at her, confused and folds the newspaper in his hands that he was previously reading.

"Yes, a red stain," my mother says sharply, holding out the shirt for my father to see.  I see an expression flicker onto my father's face but he quickly covers it up before I can tell what it is. 

My five younger siblings play with their toys, not noticing what is going on between my father and mother.  However, I am all ears.  My curious eyes pick up every movement as my mother touches the red stain on the collar of the shirt.  It prints red on her finger and she rubs her fingers together, feeling the texture of whatever is on the shirt before taking a sniff for confirmation of what she already knows is true.

Her eyes flash with anger and hurt before she points towards me. "Go upstairs with your siblings."

I slowly nod, gathering my siblings and taking them upstairs.  I open the door of the first bedroom, containing three single beds.  My sisters lie down on their beds and I tuck them in before going to the next bedroom,which has two beds, to tuck in my brothers.  I then quietly shut the door and tiptoe to the stairs.  I hear the faint sound of my parents' voices as I approach.  I sit on the top step,within hearing range, and peek through one of the spaces in the rail.

"Where did you get the stain?" my mother asks, strangely calm.

"I don't know." My father shrugs nonchalantly.

"Don't make me have to guess." Her voice cracks slightly.

"I don't know what it is."

"What is lipstick doing on your shirt?" My mother's voice rises, the hand that holds the shirt shaking.

"It's probably ketchup or something." My father waves it off.

"Why would ketchup be on your collar? " She looks at him like he has grown another head.

"Someone accidentally dropped it there?"

"In the shape of lips?  Because somebody would take the time to do that! You are sleeping around, aren't you?"

"Let me explain-" He reaches out to her but she jumps away as if his touch burns her.

"Explain? Is there an explanation for sleeping around?" My mother's voice cracks even more.

"I was stressed out with work and our slight money problem-" my father start to say frantically.

"So that was your solution? To be unfaithful?  I'm stressed out too!  We have six children and another one on the way but I don't do what you do!"

"It was only once.  I won't do it again." My father tries to reach out to her again.

"Get your filthy hands away from me!  You're sleeping on the couch tonight!" My mother wobbles away, throwing the shirt over her shoulder onto the ground.

My heartbeat accelerates and tears start to pool in my eyes as I run to my room quietly.  I close the door behind me and slowly slide down its face.  Did Dad really cheat on Mum? I cover my face with my hands as my heart hurts and tears wet my palms.  I pull my knees up to my chest and cry into the early hours of the morning, my mother's soft wails mixing with mine.

Weeks passed,then months and even though there were no obvious signs of my father meeting anyone, I noticed how late he came home compare to before.  I felt the distance between my parents but it wasn't until one night my father came home early, that my world came crashing down.  At first I was delighted and thought he wasn't seeing anyone anymore.  He was acting normal and not as distant as before.  He played and talked with my siblings and I, he even made my mother laugh all night.  However, the next morning I hear something like wheels moving against the wooden floor of the house.  I hear the cries of my mother causing me to scramble down the stairs.  My eyes go wide as they travel over the suitcase standing beside my father and the shaking shoulders of my mother as she sobs in a nearby chair.

"What's going on?" I ask nervously.  Please tell me he isn't leaving us.  Jade calm down,  it's probably just a business trip. But I know better and brace myself for the worst.

"I'm leaving." My father looks down at the ground, not being able to meet my eyes.

"Is this some kind of sick joke? Where are the cameras?" I laugh bitterly.

"I'm leaving," he repeats, now looking me in the eyes to show how serious he is.  My father's face turns to one of stone and for a moment I wonder if he is really the father I know. 

"Why?" I ask weakly,my voice shaking.

"I can't deal with the pressure and want to start a new life," he says nonchalantly, like he isn't about to step though the door and leave his family behind.

"Do you even care?"

He says nothing and tugs his suitcase behind him as he exits the house, not looking back.

"You coward! If you knew you couldn't handle us, why did you help our mother make us?" I scream at the top of my lungs, tears running down my face in a flood. 

I hear sniffles from behind me and I look over my shoulder with watery eyes, to see my siblings' bottom lips trembling.  I was so distracted that I didn't notice they were there before.  At the broken looks on their faces, I cry even more.  Not only because it hurts that our own biological father doesn't care about us but also from the anger towards him.  I am angry because he just left us.  He just stepped through the door like we never mattered to him and maybe we never did.  But that doesn't mean he should just throw us away like a piece of crap.   Especially when my siblings are so young.  

As I stare at the open door that my father walked through so effortlessly, I feel my perspective towards love turn acrid.  The word love on my tongue feels like poison and the thought of it makes my teeth clench with anger.  In my eyes, love has now become cruel because if love wasn't, my father would've stayed, protected us and watched over us.  That is enough proof for me.